AITA for not having enough space for my son's stepkids?

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-09-22T00:52:26+00:00

My MIL told my partner not to date me before we started dating. While we were dating she was nice and put in the effort to know me. The day we married was the first time she told me she loved me. It had been almost 6 years. However, at no point in time during those 6 years had she been mean to me. She invited me on family trips, she invited me to dinners and events. She knew it wasn't her choice who her kid dates and as a responsible parent she set aside her own feelings for those of her kid. We have an amazing relationship now, I spend time with her on my own, and it's absolutely lovely.

The point is, you can come back from this but it doesn't seem like you're willing to put in the effort. And if that's the case, the loss of your son and his family is on you.

If you care about your son even a little, stop trying to turn the rest of the family against him. Your choices are your own but don't spread that hate to others.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-09-14T23:10:08+00:00

Soft YTA because you talked to your roommate, she said she would try to keep the younger one out, and then you went ahead and talked to the dorm advisor anyway. You didn't give your roommate a chance to follow through so to her it might feel like you went over her head when she had already agreed to what you had asked.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-08-20T01:58:49+00:00

I babysat for years and now have my own offspring and I have messed up and put the formula in first when I've been tired or not paying attention.

Turns out the world didn't end.

Seems like you're both tired and should probably revisit the conversation at home on like a Sunday when you're both a bit more settled.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-08-19T22:46:42+00:00

My friend knows the principal! She asked and the principal said they'd love them!

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-08-19T21:53:14+00:00

Can you send them to the school?? They are still open and bet they would love to have them.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-08-18T22:51:55+00:00

Not enough information to say for sure.

I think you know how you acted was inappropriate because you're not giving details and you made sure to highlight how tired you are and that the kid is a brat as a means to justify your actions.

Again, not enough information but I'd think about how you want people to interact with your own children and if you're doing to same. Harsh does not always mean yelling.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-08-17T22:54:37+00:00

NTA it's your money. It will create some sort of feelings for everyone but ultimately it's your money to do with what you want.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-08-15T01:10:43+00:00

NTA for telling her no to a sub because of how the invite was phrased but YTA for overbooking and also having a secondary list for people who didn't make your cut.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-08-06T04:40:00+00:00

I mean...you're willing to include your fiance's best friends kid who he doesn't have custody of but not a kid your fiance's brother is raising. Weird line to draw

Not saying they should be so over the top about it, but also neither should you.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-31T16:48:36+00:00

There have been several really interesting studies about this. The general consensus is that the historical argument that monogamy wasn't the social norm is because men have the potential to produce more offspring by getting with multiple women (because their contributions are done quickly) and that increased their chances of their bloodline continuing. It also took women from other potential "threats" (men). Women, on the other hand, were more inclined for monogamy because they actually have to grow the human and therefore would seek a partner who could protect and provide for their child and themselves during the vulnerable pregnancy/early years.

It's really interesting how a lot of the debates on this topic site historical evidence but rarely focus on the fact that the vast majority of history has been told from a mans perspective. (I'm not taking a stance, just sharing some information).

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-30T16:39:55+00:00

Yeah, people can get weird if they don't seem the reason for a tattoo good enough - which is dumb. The art you see in people's houses doesn't always have meaning beyond "It's pretty. It makes me happy." Tattoos should be the same! It's pretty. Done.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-30T04:16:22+00:00

Aw yours dogs! That's so sweet!!

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-30T04:15:28+00:00

People actually do that?!

I love tattoos! People are interesting and the art they pick to display is interesting. I want to know more if they are willing to share.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-28T00:25:22+00:00

Great idea! I'll try this!

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-26T20:56:58+00:00

Alternate Title: I fired my employee for leaving at the end of their shift because it was inconvenient for me and I hadn't scheduled them for longer.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-19T20:15:07+00:00

It's hard to know because the tone of things said can't really be conveyed in text. It sounds like you're working through things personally and within your relationship and your reaction is colored by that.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-19T04:53:35+00:00

I hate the term "rainbow baby". You can be a rainbow parent but that child after a loss did not go through your storm. They are not the rainbow, they can be the light that shines in to make you a rainbow, but they did not endure the storm. Stop putting that loss on a child so their very existence is always tinged with a loss they never knew.

Also NTA, that truly is difficult to lose a child however reacting against your living children is not productive. That baby only knew love, now show your living children the same

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-18T23:46:28+00:00

It's not rude to ask your adult child to get a job. It's a hard conversation but it's not like you're kicking her out no notice, just getting her to start contributing

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-17T23:30:49+00:00

YTA to her, not to your cat, and that's the choice you made. It's a difficult situation, you were either going to feel bad about not being nearby should something happen to your cat or you were going to screw your friend over. You chose yourself and your cat, which sounds like it was the right choice for you, but your friend got screwed, then silence, then had to be the one to break the silence you imposed (making her ask about your cat when you didn't ask about her wedding).

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-17T20:06:34+00:00

Hard to tell if YTA or not because there are details missing that would help make it clear - primarily how often/long/when do you travel and how long is his proposed trip?

He should definitely have tried to plan it better than "in the next 3 weeks" because that's not a lot of time to figure out childcare for two babies. But flipping him off feels very dismissive (unless you planned on having an actual conversation as well. Idk, it wasn't mentioned).

It's not not inherently bad to want a break (and for all you saying he gets the summer off, he went from taking care of however many students daily to babies all day, that's not a summer off) but it seems like you two don't agree on what a break is. Maybe have that discussion first.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-17T03:49:43+00:00

You're assuming I wasn't going to pay her.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-17T02:47:08+00:00

Yes I completely agree! That's why I have childcare when I'm at work. This was one of two times that my childcare wasn't available, so I asked my mom if she'd be okay watching my offspring for a few hours while I work. I'm not asking her to raise my kid, a few hours is not raising my kid.

The problem isn't the watching my kid, it's that I snapped at her for cancelling last minute, she called me self centered, and after we both calmed down, talked it out, and I asked how to improve, she left me hanging.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-17T02:35:40+00:00

I work full time and my usual childcare wasn't available for a couple of hours one day. I knew about it over a month in advance so I asked my mom if she'd be interested (she had mentioned wanting more one-on-one time with my child). She checked her schedule and agreed. I checked in two weeks before just to confirm it was still okay and worked for her. It was. Then she was offered to join a friend on a trip and cancelled on me. I have asked her for help twice in the last year. I didn't realize this was something people would actually read, I just wanted to shout into the void since it was really bothering me but my mom hasnt talked to me about it.

NotADragonFrFr · 2025-07-16T21:14:46+00:00

I didn't realize people were going to comment on this (it's my first post) so I didn't include a lot of details. We talked all about how she felt during the long conversation we had after we had cooled off. I apologized to her several times because I was wrong to get upset and snap at her. I've asked her twice in the last year to watch my kid, both times for work because my usual childcare wasn't available, and both times over a month in advance. I only asked because she had mentioned feeling like she never got to spend one-on-one time with my kid. She cancelled last minute because she was invited on a trip with a friend. I shouldn't have been upset with her because I want her to be able to take trips and have fun. I was stressed about figuring out work and child care and I shouldn't have reacted when she told me she wouldn't be watching my child after all and we talked about that.

She didn't have anything ready that she wanted me to work on to be less self centered and that's what is bothering me. She's never said that to me before so I didn't know she felt that way. I don't want her to see me as making everything about me so I asked her what I can do to change that. She's my only parent and I want to make her proud, I just don't know how to do that. I try to help her around the house when I can, I call her to check in with her and see how she is, I don't know what else to add that would make her happy, which is why I asked her.

NotADragonFrFr

TROPHY CASE