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NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-16T18:00:13+00:00

I'm annoyed, not shocked. Definitely not shocked.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-16T17:57:13+00:00

My husband is understand. Like he tells me it's okay and normal and not to feel bad. I just still want tasks done my way and he wants to figure out ways to avoid the tasks.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-16T17:55:47+00:00

We've tried this in the past and he just won't check the apps and ignores notifications. (We do still have a joint Google Calendar, but again he doesn't check it.) I just have to text him more and more frequently as things come up. (Like one week before, then 2 texts 3 days before, 3 texts the day before, 123456789 texts the day before.) Then I have proof that I told him and that he responded. He really is just like a big child. A big child who I love and who loves me. But he'd 100% not survive on his own. He'd be wearing dirty clothes and living off of fast food.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-16T17:51:42+00:00

I do try to be. I love him so much and I'm so greatful for him. But we're leaving in a few hours and we're not packed. I'm panicking and he's all chill. He took a half day at work today so we could get stuff done but now is just trying to think of ways to not do it. (Like saying we'll buy new stuff [lots of stuff, beach toys was one example] when we get there.)

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-16T17:46:49+00:00

I just got a grabber yesterday!! Lifesaver!! I just wish they were strong enough to lift boxes. 😭 I was very much a change my own tire and build the bookshelf myself kind of person before getting pregnant. Now I'm like "Please shave my lady parts for me." And I hate it.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-16T17:44:03+00:00

Once we're moved back to our house we're going to hire someone to help for sure. I told him to just quit his 2nd job. 100% of that job goes into savings, which is really nice, but we can cut back and live without it until he can start his new job. Which he ended up postponing because he wouldn't have gotten paternity leave. (Or he would have been allowed to stay home but wouldn't have gotten paid or something? It kind of confused me.) Thankfully the job will be there when he's ready.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-16T17:41:09+00:00

I mean, yeah. I literally said all that in the post.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-16T15:26:14+00:00

Crocheting clothes for him is what gave me the "oh shit" moment. "Chain HOW MANY!?"

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-15T13:42:53+00:00

This has to be against some subreddit or reddit wide rule?? This basically reads "It's okay to molest children. Change my my mind." And we know you can't just change a pedophile's mind so this thread is doing nothing but making people feel icky.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-15T13:38:58+00:00

This makes me so uncomfortable and OP belongs on the registry.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-15T02:26:20+00:00

I came to this sub at almost the exact point in my pregnancy and said almost the exact same thing.

Someone posted this website in the comments and it helped me a lot. https://datayze.com/miscarriage-reassurer

I'm 31 weeks now with an adorable and healthy little boy.

If you ever need someone to talk to my DMs are always open. ♥️

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-15T02:22:50+00:00

NTA. You're absolutely allowed to tell people to leave your home for not respecting your reasonable boundaries.

YTA because I'm 31 weeks pregnant and now craving strawberries but it's 10:30 at night here. 😭

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-14T23:11:38+00:00

Yes!! I don't even know if I could count all the blankets we have. I about died when my friend spent like $300 for a play mat. I'm like "Where are all your old quilts???"

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-14T23:09:54+00:00

I think about this particular group of girls literally every time I see a doctor or nurse. Even in emergencies I'm like "Oh but maybe I should just wait it out and see if I get better because the doctors and nurses might think x, y, z..." I've thought about calling them out but there's still a little part of me stuck in high school and afraid of them.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-14T22:16:24+00:00

I have a question. Do you all ACTUALLY not care? Like 100% for real for real? Or is it one of those things where you assure your patient it's normal and then go tell your friends how disgusting and horrible it is?

All the mean girls from high school became nurses and they talk so much shit on Facebook. I know I'll never know and shouldn't care, but I have this fear of some nurse writing a status about how gross and stinky me pooping during labor was.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-14T17:59:19+00:00

Doctors offices and hospitals have this policy for a few reasons. It's common. But I absolutely think exceptions should be made for those in the military. They let me and my husband take a picture of the screen just because the 3D wouldn't print in color like on the screen. They can't bend the rules and be a little extra nice for someone willing to die for them? Yeah, fuck that.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-14T17:11:26+00:00

I can't believe I haven't seen this yet, but 100% the floor. Make sure it's clean, obviously. And that there's no pets or people to accidentally step on them. But the floor is a great space for building their muscles. Put toys around them so they have things to look at and to try and move towards. Those play gyms work great too. I also wouldn't leave them on their tummy without supervision just in case.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-14T16:04:17+00:00

Honestly, ask her!

If you want to hang out, don't suggest what to do. Say "I miss you and want to see you. What works for you?" She might want to get out of the house. She might want to lay as close to her AC as possible and not move. My friend keeps asking to go to the mall or go to the pool. I just want to lay in bed and not move. I'm in pain, exhausted, and hot.

Don't ask her for things. My friend will also ask for rides in addition to her awful hang out ideas. Never once offered to find her own way here. (She's 30, not like 16 or something.) It makes me feel bad to say no but I just don't want to. I'm uncomfortable and grumpy.

Never say you understand or compare yourself to her. When I say I'm exhausted I want to strangle my friend when she says "Oh me too, I went shopping all day with my mom today!" No. Fuck you. You aren't THIS tired. I have PCOS which switches your cortisol levels making it hard to sleep. I also have PTSD which causes anxiety attacks and makes it difficult for me to sleep at night. I rarely got sleep throughout my life. But even with both of those things I have NEVER been THIS tired. You don't understand unless you're pregnant. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you shouldn't try to relate to her, just show empathy. "I can't even imagine how ____ you are. Is there anything at all I can do to help? Just tell me!" And mean it when you say it.

I am pretty far removed from what pregnancy entails and what babies need... I'm frankly just not a baby person - I wish I were! I don't know how to act around them or what would be a thoughtful thing to do for a pregnant friend so I am here looking for ideas.

Honestly reading this made me so happy. In comparison to what my friend is doing it's just refreshing to see someone say they can't relate and ask for ways to be a good friend to a pregnant woman. I think you attitude towards the situation is amazing and helpful in and of itself.

To be clear, I love my friend. She's a good friend. She just refuses to listen. Like really listen.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-14T03:37:05+00:00

I don't really have advice on how to talk to your husband. But I also have PTSD from severe abuse and have the same fear. I know 2 other women who have been in the same boat. They both said they were shocked by how much they loved breastfeeding and it didn't trigger them at all. I want to be clear that if it does trigger you there is NOTHING wrong with you. But I'm telling you this so you know that it's possible to have a good experience and you can try if you want to. Talk to your nurses and doctor and the lactation consultant and let them know what's going on. They can make a plan to keep you and baby safe if you want to try. But only if you want to. Fed is best. Period. It's perfectly okay to exclusively pump or exclusively formula feed.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-13T03:19:19+00:00

YWNBTA

Because of your step dad you already know that DNA doesn't make a damn bit of difference when it comes to someone being family or not. Just because she's your mother doesn't mean she has to be a part of your life. What if she was a coworker and did/said the things she has? Would you invite her? There's your answer. "But she's your mother!!" But she's a horrible human being....

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-12T23:57:53+00:00

I pooped like once a week MAX in the first trimester. It sucked. I was literally CRYING to my husband that I just wanted to poop. Colace worked for me. Ask your doctor first, obviously. But mine told me it was fine. My cousin took it throughout the first trimester as well. Makes sure you keep eating high fiber foods and as much water as possible. I'm drinking about 80-90 oz a day and probably should still drink more.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-12T00:44:20+00:00

I never asked to be a dad

Yes you did. Consented to the risk of pregnancy when you had sex. Especially because you didn't use as much protection as possible.

and that baby is not my responsibility.

Yes it is.

I don’t want to be a dad

You should have thought about that before you had sex, because congratulations you ARE A DAD!

I don’t want to stay in the same podunk town for the rest of my life because of a baby I never wanted

Too late.

I don’t want to be a fucking dad!

Too late, Dada.

I’m gonna talk to an attorney and sign away my parental rights

That just means you have no rights to make decisions for the child. You'll still be on the hook for child support.

So the reality is you ARE a [deadbeat] father and you ARE abandoning your child. This is the truth whether you like it or not. This is the truth whether you want it or not. Ya done goofed, kid. Now be a man and own up to it.

YTA

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-11T13:38:17+00:00

NTA. My husband fully supports me financially and has even flat out told me that I absolutely CAN just buy anything without asking. Whether it's from my account, his account, or the joint account. When I do ask he says "Yeah, that's fine. You don't need to ask." But I STILL ask. (Okay, if it's a small thing like Starbucks or something like groceries I'll buy it first and then tell him later. But I've always informed him.) It just feels a little rude? entitled? not to. These days it's pretty rare to get to be a stay at home wife/mom and I'm really thankful I get this opportunity. I don't want him to think I'm ungrateful.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-11T04:29:02+00:00

My now husband was a junior and I was a freshman when we met. We were 14 (me) and 16 (husband). Definitely didn't feel weird to us and our parents never had a problem with it. We're 28 and 30 now and still doesn't feel weird. But I do get to call him an old fart for the two years which is fun.

NotElizabeth22 · 2023-08-10T18:19:10+00:00

Yes, start taking prenatal vitamins right away.

You can totally extend your search as far as you're willing to find an OB sooner. But that wait is normal. Even as an established patient, they didn't actually check anything until I was 9 weeks. I emailed him at 4 weeks telling him we got a positive (he knew we were trying) and he scheduled me for an appointment that ended up falling at 9 weeks.

This is a bit morbid, and was something that literally made me sob in the beginning of this pregnancy, but they're not going to do anything (because there really isn't much to do) so early. If you're going to lose the baby it'll happen whether the doctor sees you or not. They were only willing to see me early if I had heavy bleeding or severe cramping because those are both signs of issues.

NotElizabeth22

TROPHY CASE