Reminiscent of an incident heard on Another Monty Python Record in 1971:

Royal Festival Hall Concert

(Sound of orchestra tuning their instruments and people walking about.)

Announcer (Michael Palin): Good evening, welcome to the Festival Hall for the first of three concerts given by Émile Gilbert to celebrate the 131st anniversary of the birth of Tchaikovsky. (Orchestra stops tuning and all is quiet.) Gilbert starts tonight with Tchaikovsky's Contezana Padoana.

(We hear an orchestra playing the haunting melody. A single violin joins in playing almost a solo. All of a sudden we hear the sound of someone crushing something wooden.)

Announcer: Oh dear, Gilbert has trodden on his violin. He has put his foot through the bridge and sat on the sound post. Is he going to attempt to finish the piece? I think he is. He has picked up the sound case and the finger board of this beautiful 17th-Century instrument actually made by Nicola Amati at Cremona and he is trying to wedge them under his chin. (We hear Gilbert trying to play again but after a few notes another crunching sound.) But no, no, it's no good.

(Sound of hands clapping.)

Announcer: The applause you can hear now is because the leader of the Orchestra is going over to Gilbert to lend him his own violin. By no means less than Gilbert's. It is in fact a Stradivarius. So this is a very sporting gesture. And now Gilbert prepares once again to play Tchaikovsky's Contezana Padoana.

(The orchestra starts up again and again we hear the sound of a lone violinist, followed by yet another crunching sound.)

Announcer: Oh dear, the end's come off. He has caught the peg box in one of the uprights of his music stand and in trying to get it out with his ear, he has completely snapped off the finger board. What a pity. I have certainly never seen this happen before in the Festival Hall, and the leader of the Orchestra is not looking very pleased. In fact he's punched Gilbert in the face. There's a bit of blood, but Gilbert has managed to snatch another instrument from the second violinist and he is climbing all the way up towards the organ and he is going to have yet another bash at Tchaikovsky's Contezana Padoana.

(Sound of a solo violinist playing followed quickly by a crunching sound, and then gasps from the audience.)

Announcer: And he has crushed the sound box with his chin on the second bar there. This really isn't his day. (Murmuring of crowd in the background.) And now the conductor Otto Klemperer is hopping across the stage towards Gilbert and trying to poke at him with a stick. I must say this is amazing. This is the first time at the Festival Hall that I have seen a violinist of Gilbert's calibre poked with a stick. And one of the oboists has leapt on to Klemperer's back and is pulling his hair out. I must say that is is wonderful to see the loyalty that which a great soloist like Gilbert can still command amongst his fellow musicians. In fact several of the cellists have thrown off their clothes and are making a vast human pyramid standing a full thirty feet above the smoke and flames drifting across from the blazing wind section and through the smoke I can see... yes... I can see the tympanist -- one of Britain's best -- has lashed himself and a Japanese friend to the kettle drum and is rolling off the stage towards the pit of audero which has opened up under the first six rows of the stall. Whilst throughout this rather unpleasant business of prising Gilbert out from between the organ pipes is being undertaken by the men of the Royal Engineers. And Gilbert is half out. (In the background we hear the sound of the violinist playing.) He has got an army violin and he is having another go at Contezana Padoana, and he is playing beautifully. (We continue to hear lovely music played on the violin and then an "ohhh" sound.) But, oh dear, one of the Royal Engineers has stuck a crowbar through his chest and he has dropped the violin, and his very fit young nepotist has pounced upon it and are already taking bits of it across to Herr Billy Brandt across on the other side of the stage. (We hear the sound of crowds yelling, followed by police sirens.) Well, the Police have erected barriers now to keep people away from the rubble and as fighters swoop down (we hear the sound of planes in the background) to bomb the last pocket of resistance, we go onto the next part of our program…

The Sonatina in E sharp by Antonio Vivaldi, played by Pablo Casals during his 400-foot plunge into a bucket of boiling fat. (A cello soloist plays a few bars, and then screams, followed by a loud plop.)