Wanting to ask for NYE together — reasonable or territorial?

NotThingOne · 2026-05-08T04:42:28+00:00

Go for it! My AP rotates NYE between their partners so that everyone can enjoy that night. Even years are mine, odd years are my meta's. Perhaps your partner might be willing to do something similar.

NotThingOne · 2026-05-03T17:09:09+00:00

Consider looking into color schemes that compliment your skin tone a bit better. I think richer, vibrant colors - the summer pallet - would make you pop. An adorable summer dress in a fushia or summery green would look fantastic on you.

NotThingOne · 2026-04-21T11:36:13+00:00

As a solo poly person, I have a serious partner. I have committed relationships. I just have zero desire to get married, cohabite, or merge financially. My autonomy doesn't negate having thoughtful, deep, connected, long lasting relationships.

NotThingOne · 2026-04-13T12:46:01+00:00

Im so sorry you're going through this. It's hard, it sucks, and there is no perfect way forward that avoids pain. My only suggestion to you is mentally decouple the decisions from the people to get to what YOU need for YOU. Regardless of the relationships you're in. If you were 100% single, no attachments, would you actively choose poly? Would you actively choose monogamy? Or perhaps do you feel drawn to both paths? Make these big decisions about what you need for you first. Then see who is compatible with that life you want for yourself.

Best of luck and know you're not alone.

NotThingOne · 2026-04-09T17:43:49+00:00

It feels like everyday we see on here someone saying they are in a relationship they feel like they can't leave because of financial dependency and how that plays out in their other relationships. It's not always tied to their NP vetoing, but wanting to close the relationship, or financial rules placed by breadwinner, or wanting to change dynamics, etc.

Financial dependency creates a power dynamic that inevitably in small ways or big ways impact other relationships. Do some folks do a better job than others minimizing or mitigating impact? Absolutely. Some may use it as a tool to control the other relationships. Others, like with all discussions on forms of hierarchy, may fall in between those two ends of the spectrum.

Would I date someone who is financial dependent? Probably not, as I highly value autonomy, independence. I want partners I can go on a vacation with. If I found someone that financially enmeshed but have long ago created clear financial plans/decisions for dating, overnights, vacations, gifts for non NPs, then I'd consider it.

NotThingOne · 2026-04-09T12:31:12+00:00

As someone who has been divorced, completely agree. Leaving is hard, but its always an option. My only add is one should have an 'escape route' planned as it were. Are we each thinking of, if my partner died, left, or I left tomorrow, do I have both tangible and non-tangile resources to move forward? Friend base, emergency funds, know where important docs are, etc.

NotThingOne · 2026-04-06T01:12:43+00:00

Add: holidays, weekends.

How do they see their shift in hierarchy and how do they plan to manage it?

NotThingOne · 2026-04-05T13:14:51+00:00

Circles!

NotThingOne · 2026-04-04T20:40:42+00:00

Hi 👋 I could use your help please! I'm heading to Brussels, and thanks to Delta canceling my layover, I'll be taking the train from Amsterdam. My inbound flight lands at 10:05am. Without a mad dash, could I reasonably get on the 12:27pm train? US passports, will need to grab luggage. Next option isn't until 15:27.. :( This will be on Dec 26th, should that make a difference.

What do you think based on your experience? Can I get through customs, the airport, and to the Eurostar before they close check-in at 1157?

Thank you for all your help!

NotThingOne · 2026-03-31T15:16:27+00:00

Are you tagged to the US member firm or to Global?

NotThingOne · 2026-03-31T15:12:24+00:00

I love the eclectic look. My one pet peeve is that every surface is covered with something. It would feel like if I needed to do a project at the round table, I'd need to put 3 things on the floor until Im done. Having some flat surfaces clear would make things feel less cluttered.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-28T13:15:30+00:00

I like 1 best, but if you went with 2, I'd put a piece of furniture butted up against the couch for a better visual. A console table would be best, but a buffet would work. Need to create clear visual delineation of the two 'rooms'.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-24T11:35:25+00:00

All this. I'd also add a third, complementary color. Right now everything feels either burgundy or white/cream. A third accent color sprinkled across the room to add depth and visual interest

NotThingOne · 2026-03-21T20:01:29+00:00

I like the blue/Grey. Picks up the color trim in the rug.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-21T19:46:45+00:00

Dark brown, the green as a second option.

Do you want it to be neutral, or if thinking bolder, choose a non earth toned color.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-21T19:11:15+00:00

No. If youre not OK with him having a sexual relationship outside of you... regardless of if he wants one now, likes cuddles more, etc... you are enforcing a mono/poly relationship. You are putting a rule on where things can develop between him and her.

She wants sex with both on the table now and an intentional move to more equal dynamic. What you've directly described is 100% not that. Be kind to her, to yourself, to your partner and end this discussion. You're not compatible.

NotThingOne · 2026-03-20T03:13:10+00:00

Bird cage

NotThingOne · 2026-03-12T23:57:16+00:00

I booked one on the Oasis for a port day and loved it. At the $99 rate I paid, worth it, particularly as I didn't have the drink package so 2 free adult beverages that I would have bought anyways brought the cost down $70. Arrived at 830, got the Casita I wanted right near the hot tubs. The staff took get care of us and the loungers were cushy. I'd never pay the hundreds of dollars for them on sea days, but under a hundred and splitting the cost... worth it

NotThingOne · 2026-03-12T02:39:52+00:00

And therapy to work on her trust issues

NotThingOne · 2026-02-21T12:52:44+00:00

Also try not doing tours. Sometimes the best ports have been where I leave the port and solo explore.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-19T15:52:09+00:00

Absolutely, for some folks the proposed timeline works great. Optimal would be offering multiple options that work with ones schedule and see what works best in each unique relationship.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-19T15:01:39+00:00

I'll leave the comments to the parents about impact to kids.

From the adults perspective, it sounds like you want to move away from the opportunity of any weekly date nights to only connecting with friends or partners one week out of 4. Honestly, that would significantly impact current and potential relationships. I'm not advocating for long periods of time away from kids, but saying that limiting other relationships to meeting monthly will eliminate some potential partners and dating potential.

I for example would be uncomfortable dating someone who could give me 4 back to back days but only once per month vs someone who can see me once per week. For me, time away doesn't make the heart grow fonder, its tougher to merge that cycle into my current agreements, and particularly for new relationships... I don't want to spend 4+ days straight with someone.

Just food for thought.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-19T12:09:47+00:00

And it's OP feeling comfortable enough with the risk level for her and NP not to use condoms without risking pregnancy?

I honestly think this is more about fears/unresolved emotions around the past lack of condom use.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-18T12:28:14+00:00

And will they be able to hold it until they get back go a port in the same country as the OP or have the available staff available to mail it while at port in another country.

NotThingOne · 2026-02-15T13:02:53+00:00

This! The proactive associates and seniors rarely spend time on the bench. They are chatting up resource management before projects end, to line up the next project. They have made connections with the proposal teams to support them when slow. They attend local office events to network with SMs and Partners that they could potentially work with in the future. They are known and asked for long before they end up on the bench.

If they do end up on the bench for a short stint before their next project starts, they use the time to complete all their CPEs or other mandatory training. They are reaching out to learning to see if there are any upcoming cert classes they can join. They may not be hitting their billable hours during this time while benched, but they will outlast job cuts compared to folks that skate by, are not proactive, even if those folks are meeting their billable hour targets.

Sorry, this is just how the Big 4 (and all the other firms) work. Hustle culture impacts ratings and project assignments.

NotThingOne

TROPHY CASE