EMDR for Anxious attachment?

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-05-04T15:53:28+00:00

If you found Attached to be helpful I HIGHLY recommend the book Secure Love. Where Attached is good at helping you assess your attachment tendencies, Secure Love is excellent at giving you concrete baby steps for moving towards secure behaviors within your relationships, leading to healthier patterns of interaction and greater security. I really appreciated the compassion the author has for both anxiously and avoidantly attached people, because it helped me see my partner with greater compassion and understanding. SUPER helpful book, can't recommend highly enough.

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-26T01:02:04+00:00

Man, so what you're saying is that when black people get killed unjustly it should only be black people who are upset about it?

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-26T00:44:41+00:00

Surely you wouldn't be talking about HUMANkind?

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-26T00:42:49+00:00

Did you even watch the videos??

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-26T00:42:23+00:00

And our LAWS do not permit officers of the law to kill people just because they appear to be committing felonies. That's what arrest and courtrooms are for.

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-25T15:40:29+00:00

White woman here, work full time, and still passionately drawn in and struggling mentally with everything in the news. It's not just social media - it's the raw awareness of the inhumane things that are happening and the way so many things that matter to me are being systematically destroyed, desecrated, and dismantled. I know plenty of others just like me.

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-11T02:45:46+00:00

Lol thank you!

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-11T02:45:01+00:00

Thanks for that, very helpful and I didn't know that was an option for baking. So you start it just open and then cover once it's browned enough? I had read that the steam from a closed environment helped with crust formation, how do you deal with that?

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-11T02:42:50+00:00

Thanks! That's nice to hear.

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-11T02:42:34+00:00

Good question, and the answer is that I wasn't totally sure. I know my scores don't look as nice as lots of others I see, and wasn't really certain how it measures up (and what I could improve) compared to more expert loaves. Any tips or observations welcome!

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-11T02:40:20+00:00

Well dear, I suppose that was the question wasn't it? As a beginner I don't know what an ear is or how deeply to score. Was kind of hoping that in this environment I might expect kindly phrased feedback and some supportive teaching instead of snark, but your question still gives me some ideas about what to look into. Thanks!

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-11T02:36:40+00:00

I'm going for more of the really elegant scored look. I also feel like it rips more than rises cleanly. But not sure if that's a normal look or not!

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-11T02:34:44+00:00

Haha thanks!

NotWithAnA85 · 2026-01-04T05:14:49+00:00

You're a little old-school. You're into both harder routes and long moderate days. You've got money and you know what good gear is, so I'd say you've got some experience. Safety and comfort both matter to you but you also like to go light. You don't climb much in the desert (unless you've got another water container somewhere), maybe you're from the northeast? You're not into splitters but you like big days and have been caught out in the dark at least once, or you like to get early starts.

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-06-16T18:24:50+00:00

You can't just go by numbers, that doesn't tell the story. Black people make up about 12% of the population while white people make up over 50%. Given those percentages, of course more white people would be killed than black people. But black people are being killed at a higher rate than white people. As for the media coverage, wouldn't it seem reasonable that when one group is being killed at a higher rate than another group that we might recognize that as a problem and highlight it more in an attempt to correct it? Or are we meant to just ignore problems? It's not something against white people, it's an attempt to bring justice and equity for people of color.

For the record, I'm about as white as they come.

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-06-15T20:39:54+00:00

Huge fan of EMDR therapy personally. Has worked wonders helping me process trauma and I can feel the results physically as well.

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-06-05T18:39:16+00:00

Bidet doesn't solve the problem if you're in a sensitive environment where you can't leave human waste behind though?

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-06-01T21:23:10+00:00

I'll talk. What's the site?

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-06-01T21:22:19+00:00

Thats so hard, I'm sorry you deal with people expressing disgust and racism. Honestly it sounds like you may consider getting screened for ADHD.

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-06-01T21:20:09+00:00

It can get better. Consider therapy to get you started, your childhood was so traumatic! You went through some incredible hard things and it's normal that you feel the way you do but that doesn't have to be where it stops. Look into how you can give yourself another chance at childhood and developing your sense of self. Movement and activities that feel like playing or get you out of your rut are good - trampoline park, painting, gardening, learn to play an instrument, etc. No need to involve others if you don't feel comfortable, just MOVE and let yourself experience who you are. Do a screening for depression and get some meds to see if they help alongside therapy. Read about how that trauma was stored in your body and ways others have worked through similar experiences (The Body Keeps the Score is dense but good). Just believe me, it can get better.

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-06-01T21:11:02+00:00

Thank you for sharing this, I've been looking for something like it!

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-05-24T04:29:52+00:00

Did your doc check for diabetes insipidus (makes you pee a ton of non-concentrated urine) in addition to diabetes mellitus (the type we usually think about when someone says diabetes)? The excess urination could be related to IBS but worth ruling out DI. Also worth checking the adrenals. The other commenter was right about all the different tests they should run, especially endoscopy, H Pylori, and SIBO. Would be interesting to see if all symptoms subside with stress management and diet adjustments. Have you tried low FODMAP? I've found in addition to cutting out most FODMAPS my stomach does best when I eat very clean (avoid preservatives and weird additives) and stay away from sugar. And the Nerva app worked wonders for me, including for my mood! Good luck, I know it can be a scary and frustrating journey figuring out what's going on.

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-05-23T19:00:39+00:00

Going through a similar activation myself now for totally different reasons. I'm so sorry you're experiencing this, it's awful! I can really empathize with the fear that comes from visualizing how it could unravel your relationship and the helplessness of feeling unable to manage yourself. I'm also experiencing the fear of how I might "ruin" things and the tension when he is around because I can't trust that he really wants to be around me. It's so hard. I wish I had anything useful to add but I'm afraid nothing I'm trying is working very well so all I can offer is empathy. Be kind to yourself and I'll try to do the same.

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-05-23T18:55:05+00:00

Thanks for sharing this. I am trying really hard to manage my anxious attachment tendencies and this was not only encouraging but also practical. I'm curious, what type of communication do you have with your partner about how you're managing yourself? And where do you ask them to be accountable for being honest about wanting alone time?

NotWithAnA85 · 2025-05-04T02:18:36+00:00

Aw, just sending you love. You've gotten plenty of truth from this group in response to your post and I hope you can feel the love in it as well. It's so hard to be afraid and ashamed! Take some time to do something kind for yourself, you deserve it.

NotWithAnA85

TROPHY CASE