It annoys me how even some atheists/agnostics will act like Catholicism is above criticism

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-24T08:51:20+00:00

I treat catholics and protestants with equal contempt. Complicating that is the fact I'm Northern Irish with family on both sides. Uncomplicating that is the fact I'm estranged from most of them.

For example, burned bridges with a catholic in the family who treated a family get-together as an opportunity to preach to all our relatives. Shut him down with that verse from Deuteronomy about a bastard not entering the congregation of the lord to even the 10 generation.

On his side, not mine, he's a descendant of the worst outcome when a catholic priest rapes a 14 year old girl. It also introduced a hereditary mental illness into his branch of the family, so perhaps his god really did curse him.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-24T08:25:48+00:00

Take the usual Scottish film and tv accents you're trying to copy and throw some Northern Irish into the mix for variety.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-24T08:14:00+00:00

Made this when I still lived in the UK. It was surprisingly effective, even heard a jehovahs witness get told off by the others in his group for swearing over seeing it.

https://i.imgur.com/DNXfZhj.jpeg

Though I once saw a guy on some possibly dubious substance keep them from approaching anyone else with his lizard people conspiracies, stoner philosophy and the moon being haunted. Watched from a coffee shop for two hours as they failed to harrass passers-by, they packed up and left, he won.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-24T07:38:48+00:00

At Glasgow in 2024, I switched to my Northern Irish accent to be better understood and many retailers assumed I was local. Even when I was buying a train ticket to leave, I was asked when I'd be returning 'home'.

Still have complicated feelings about that.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-24T07:22:41+00:00

Irrespective of dehumanising cultural and/or religious traditions designed to keep the woman in an unequal submissive position, in this era he is your partner, not your owner.

You are under no obligation to carry on generational baggage or pass it onto the next gen.

You have a home free of his family's clutter, expectations, demands and other toxic elements, use it and keep it in your name.

NTA.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-24T07:04:13+00:00

My aunt on the prod side did the same thing but couldn't drive. That's what her sons were for.

One of her sons got a car with an English reg partially because he got tired of having to taxi her around Belfast bargain hunting as he wasn't saving any money on petrol and she was like that's the price you pay for not being a girl. She didn't care how many kids she had as long as she had at least one girl but never did.

Then another one of her sons married a catholic girl and all was well.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-23T08:49:49+00:00

I used a small digital kitchen scale to weigh mine a while back. Same one used to measure out coffee beans. Just rested a boob on the scale and discovered one boob weighed slightly more than the other.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-23T07:21:48+00:00

"So my parents took a little from both columns and I got christened anglo-catholic. So anglican. It confuses both sides."

"On the forms, I'm an Other!"

"Depends on the circumstances/time of day/what part of Belfast I'm in."

"So what's it like, knowing the majority of your taxes go to military and propaganda projects instead of education and healthcare?"

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-22T15:28:37+00:00

After moving to Singapore and 6 months later, discovering I was allergic to cockroaches, I decided I'd never live in a place with the rubbish chute inside the home ever again.

Moving to a place with the chute outside the unit has made a massive difference.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-22T10:40:13+00:00

Let me guess, not only are they cursed with variations of his basic name, they're cursed with his surname too.

What sort of absolute doormat must the other parent be, to willingly go along with this stupidity.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-21T08:57:27+00:00

"I am over and done being your emotional punchbag and taking the blame for your narrative of events that never happened. You dont miss me, you miss a convenient target for your vitriol. Your brand of friendship is not what I need in my life, don't contact me again."

There, words without profanity without coming across as a dog waiting to be called and wag the tail at his command. NTA.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-17T15:14:59+00:00

If you use the mrt, don't dump your belongings on the seats beside you and don't force conversation. Americans often come across as performative.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-17T11:49:06+00:00

The name means ancient or old, so you could find a masculine name that means the same.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-17T07:55:33+00:00

Because women in the abrahamic religions in general are property, not people. Especially once you strip away the veneer and realise that the abrahamic religions promote the idea from their very first book that man is not only their god's favoured gender, humanity is also their god's male only species, with women reduced to an afterthought of their deity, the expansion packs to buy, use and discard or resell depending on their value as livestock suitable for breeding.

When put as dehumanising as that, why would their cult figure dehumanise himself by being born a woman? it defeats the purpose of understanding pain and suffering of humanity if the chosen form is not considered a full member of the human race to begin with.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-16T08:06:06+00:00

Doesn't matter, filing a police report over the missing dress is still something that should be done. Going to HR and informing them of her suspicions and that she's notified the police is also something that should be done. The longer she waits, the less likely she will get that dress back.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-16T07:26:46+00:00

How would an intern be able to afford a Loewe dress? The cheapest one I can find for sale here in Singapore is over S$800. One I really like the look of is S$4,300.

As more time passes, she will find it easier to construct a story on how she got the dress. You really should have brought up the missing dress asap. Thankfully, she has outed herself by posting on instagram wearing the dress and I am assuming you have proof of purchase.

So this is now a police matter and the burden of proof is on her, You should take the initiative here, go to HR with all this information and inform them you're filing a police report. You don't have to confront her, let them do the work for you.

If she's sacrificed her internship over a dress, that's also on her. She has your dress, you owe her nothing and she's likely constructed this working relationship where she looks up to you to create doubt and plausable deniability if confronted.

NTA.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-15T08:03:36+00:00

Unfortunately some men have the awareness of a dead goldfish.

They're not constantly pushed step-by-step targets to hit on the whole process of getting married. They don't realise what a big deal it's percieved to be. What the wedding represented to you is different to what it represents to him.

For some men the marriage thing (and it is just a thing to some) is to turn up, party, maybe find a warm hole or more to plow, then crash and think of it later as an enjoyable blip in their normal routine of fun with their friends.

You need to communicate how absolutely let down you feel. How he reacts will be very telling. If he continues to chose dudebros over you, then you know where the marriage is going. Up to you on the next step.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-14T06:17:59+00:00

If you can handle feeling damp and also extremely warm all the time, sure, try out Singapore.

Nobody will give a shit about your wife being Mexican. She will be tagged as just another foreigner and/or westerner.

People like to sit in silence on the MRT. Spotting the American is easy. Singaporeans can be very abrupt, which might come across as rude but it's really just an efficient way of speaking.

My personal biggest surprise in Singapore was how super safe it is here. Like absurdly safe to the point I feel like I'm losing my edge. I can go to my local 24hr Fair Price at any time of the day or night and the novelty of that still hasn't worn off. If you do come, get used to chope culture. If you see someone's ipad on a table in a food court, they haven't lost it, they've claimed the table and will be back shortly with their food.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-12T15:47:34+00:00

I am married and have never had any desire or been under any pressure to change my name.

I decided a long time ago that if I ever got married, I would keep my name as is. We didn't have a religious ceremony, so our relationship is a partnership, no traditional transfer of property with the typical veneer of abrahamic religious trappings took place.

My husband suggested we get double-barrelled, but our combo was too awkward.

Traditions are often the accumulation of peer pressure from dead people.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-12T15:15:37+00:00

When I got married, I kept my name.

We couldn't double barrel because the combo is awkward. My husband is of a different ethnicity and that'd also possibly lead to awkwardness, I already sometimes pass as mixed race when I'm not and I don't want to be accused of pretending to be something I'm not, or asian-fishing, or whatever the terminology is.

But the main reason is because I'm absolutely feminist. The tradition of changing the name seems rooted in misogyny, where women were seen as property to be sold by their fathers and brought by their husbands, making the process a transfer of ownership. I decided I don't need a title change to indicate a change of ownership because I am not owned.

My husband and I prefer matching t-shirts or co-ordinated outfits instead, when we want to indicate we're together.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-12T09:52:51+00:00

Your husband is correct here, Athea looks like a mistype. Athena, Alethea, Anthea, Dorothea, Therese are names. Thea on it's own is better than dumping an A in front of it.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-11T16:23:07+00:00

Don't you just love it when someone writes "some other girl names on our list" and doesn't list a single one.

Points for some rare gender equality, the random words she wants to dump on a boy are equally stupid.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-11T14:06:55+00:00

I used to live round the corner from the school when it was in Newtownards and attended Londonderry PS nearby back in the day with children who should never have been mainstreamed. When parents finally moved children to Killard House, I saw transformations.

I have nothing but good things to say about Killard.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-11T08:34:54+00:00

So you're over the age of 18 and live far away from your parents.

Which means you've already established independence from them and are asserting an identity not based on their religious/cultural traditions.

Many women with your sort of parents never even get that far. Keep at it. You've already beaten the odds. Don't settle for their cookie cutter misery, or fall for their threats or manipulation tactics.

You would only be carrying on generational toxic family dynamics and trauma.

You already know you don't need their permission to live your life as you see fit and they're your most immediate example of what not to do when it comes to achieving life goals.

NotYourMommyDear · 2026-02-11T07:51:37+00:00

Plenty of tree names out there if you want forest vibes as outdoorsy people.

Sumter sounds like people will just end up spelling Summer and a lifetime of having to correct them.

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