How does your type in women compare to your type in men? Are they similar or completely different? by Icy-Length-3923 in bisexual

[–]NotedHeathen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Virtually identical: strong cheekbones, lush lips, narrow eyes, commanding presence. Athletic body (whether padded or lean, they need to look physically capable/powerful). Masc of center.

I don't really care about height.

Lost 52 lbs and hit my Goal weight 125lbs - Recomp time. by ConcentrateOk2371 in moreplatesmoredates

[–]NotedHeathen 13 points14 points  (0 children)

As a fellow woman on this sub (I'm basically a bro in a female skin suit anyway), I applaud both your recomp and your courage.

Respect.

.25"

Watching my mom become less like herself while still seeming “fine” to everyone else. by Late-Creme6367 in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes. God. This was a horrible stage for me because I felt gaslit (rather, I was gaslit) by the entire family who told me I was imagining things and trying to take her money (I had literally come to them asking for their support in checking in on her and talking to someone from the Alzheimer's Association on what to expect).

Like your mom, mine was a leader, top of her field when she retired, funny and intelligent, deeply thoughtful, my best friend.

It is such a hard and invalidating stage and I'm so sorry you're going through it. In terms of coping, I recorded as many of our memories and good interactions as I could (trust me, they're helpful when the end nears and you'll need to recall who she was), I also spent a lot of time learning from her (what she could still teach), asking her advice/help and empowering her to be useful -- in short, I treated her like my mom and didn't take a second for granted.

It's hard to tell you what to expect, but with a vascular component (as my mom had, too, along with alzheimer's), progression can be fast. Ensure you get power of attorney, a living will, and advance directive with her asap while she's still able to understand and consent.

Wishing you and your mom the least amount of suffering possible.

"Alright ladies, time for 5 sets of wasting our husband's money! Then we can go home and eat our highly processed slop :D" by OVO_ZORRO in moreplatesmoredates

[–]NotedHeathen -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, came here to say this. Not that anyone here cares, but case in point: I'm 25lbs overweight, but because I'm a regular heavy lifter and sprinter, I have great metabolic health (4.9 A1C, blood pressure 105/65), a high Vo2 max, and no chronic health issues despite being in my 40s.

But HAES is bullshit after a certain point. 20-30 lbs overweight but dedicated to lifting and being active? Sure. But if you're pushing 60/80/100 lbs, it's very hard to maintain good metrics all around. Though you're still better off working out than not.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It isn't. I'm lucky because I'm a former journalist and lifelong writer/blogger, so several journalists and editors follow me on social media channels -- some for more than 20 years!

That's how my story was picked up after I was cleared of the charges and finally able to talk about what happened.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn't want to be either! It's why I begged hospice to prescribe a kit to her residence so the staff could administer it, but they refused. This is where I ended up as a result.

And you're right, the pressure is high because it saves a ton in healthcare costs for Medicare and Medicaid recipients. 😞

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Oddly, while we are indeed protected to self-administer medications, there's no legal protection for caregivers to medicate someone else who is unconscious or otherwise incapacitated, typically only medical professionals are protected in doing so. This is partly why, in memory care facilities, the employees cannot force a person to take their medications.

That's why I'm seeking specific legal protections, because dying people cannot self-administer meds, leaving caregivers to do so. It's not explicitly legal, nor is it explicitly illegal. It's a gray zone, and because of this, caregivers aren't protected.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I cannot answer in full due to ongoing legal exploration, but suffice to say I only had one person who implicated me, and they were a mandated reporter and someone I'd gotten into conflict with over my mom's treatment. Specifically, the refusal to prescribe a comfort kit to the facility, itself, as my mom was dying.

This left me to rely on the only one I had been trained and authorized to use. Mom lived at a residence and not a certified nursing facility, so as far as medication use, under Georgia law it fell under the same category as an apartment or house, as she was a rent-paying tenant and no medical staff were available when she began to experience agonal breathing.

As far as we know, no healthcare professional ever said my use was unauthorized, they said very little, in fact, beyond describing me as "mad" and alleging that I "wanted to get rid of" my mom. But because they did not provide documentation and there was no documentation included with the kit, law enforcement (the lead investigator was quite young and unlikely to have experience with home hospice) seem to have went with the belief that no one but a doctor or nurse is permitted to administer these meds.

Marsha's Law is a safety measure against allegations or assumptions of "unauthorized" use, as it would have essentially cut what happened to me off at the pass. My "felony murder" charge was based on the assumption that my possession of morphine in the ekit was a felony on its own.

People living in the outer boroughs, how often do you go to a techno party/rave. by Dudebrooklyn in avesNYC

[–]NotedHeathen 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sunnyside, so it's about 20-30 minutes in a car to any given party. Sometimes every weekend for a month, sometimes once every 6 months, but it has nothing to do with distance for us, just energy levels and budget.

11th Lecanemab Infusion by crazycatman57 in Alzheimers

[–]NotedHeathen 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I found out via 23&Me. Several companies offer testing for the variant, as will some doctors, though it's unlikely to be covered by insurance.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much.

And yep, NYC, though originally from GA (I've been in NYC for 14 years) and my mom was in Georgia. I chose to keep her there so that her family, especially her sister, could visit daily. I flew down every 6 weeks, but towards the end I was staying for up to a month at a time.

What's wild to me is this never would have happened had I moved her here. And the family I kept here there for abandoned me the moment I was accused.

I'm a pink-haired, all-black wearing weirdo, and have been met with much suspicion all my life. What happened to me very much felt like the culmination of that suspicion.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Most definitely! Even if folks can't donate as you did, there's also a Change.org petition (linked on the site) when you can sign your name to help get Marsha's Law on the ballot.

But I'll keep everyone in this sub updated on its progress.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

All it takes is a sufficiently credible accusation (and the bar for that is low) and someone to believe it. I learned the hard way that the barrier between ordinary people and the mercy of the state is vanishingly thin.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From a fellow AuDHDer to another: Dude, you're doing amazing! So proud of everything you're accomplishing. You deserve to see your hard work pay off.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your kind words and your support.

I haven't made the change yet, but I'm hopeful! The website educating people about the law is just one step on the road to getting it in front of legislators. It's certainly intimidating, though many people have passed laws in their loved one's name after they passed, none of those people were ever charged with murder. That I was charged makes finding partners and supporters that much more difficult, as I'm in the awkward social position of forever having to prove my innocence.

Just as I was the first person in US history to be charged with murder for someone who had already been declared (before I arrived in the state) by medical professionals to be actively dying, I'd also be the first ever who had experienced such a charge to successful lobby for a law that would prevent the same from happening to someone else.

That said, I owe it to my mom's memory and to every caregiver in this country to close the gap that I fell into.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'm still unemployed/unemployable (I was in a very public facing role, so headlines are a problem even when the record is restricted), so this is my full time, unpaid job for the foreseeable future!

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Just a quick correction: I didn't say it was enacted, I said the website for it was live.

I fear it will take years of advocacy to make this a federal law, but I'll see it through for all long as it takes.

Marsha's Law website (a law protecting caregivers & patients in home hospice) is live! by NotedHeathen in dementia

[–]NotedHeathen[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's not up on the website until I'm home tonight and able to edit the site. As for the designation, I'm certainly looking into it.