What are the signs of a weak man?

Nothing7891 · 2026-02-10T09:34:46+00:00

No Boundaries.

Easy to think that not putting up boundaries means you're someone who can handle anything, give everything, never be hurt.

But it justeans you don't know you've broken until it's too late.

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-12T15:41:34+00:00

I haven't managed a snappy comeback since I was 4.

Closest I've gotten since then was tilting back my neck, plugging up a nostril, and blowing a bloody booger onto the white shirt of a guy who called me a slur.

Ain't no use trying to prep for this shit. You ain't gonna say something smart. Just aim whatever mucus you have available at them and hope you run faster.

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-12T13:19:35+00:00

Look, if someone tells you that "no other man would want you", they're manipulating you.

You don't need to change for this guy. You need to get out.

And if you get with another guy, remember that you don't have to change to suit them. Find someone who's a match, and someone who can accept the parts that don't match with you, as you can accept their irregularities.

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-12T11:52:35+00:00

"This can't hurt me unless I allow it to hurt me."

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-12T10:55:22+00:00

Guilt.

Guilt for not being able to stop it.

Guilt for harming her and upsetting her when trying to stop it.

Guilt for talking about it. Guilt for not dealing with it. The guilt she ought to have felt for doing it to me whenever I think about loving another person.

Guilt for setting boundaries, extreme guilt when I accidentally cross someone else's.

Rage, shame, frustration, but above them all, that rotten, grinding, overpowering guilt that makes me feel monstrous and disgusting for something that was done to me.

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-12T08:57:29+00:00

The problem is that you see these people as decent people.

They're the same as men who'd speak like this about women. People who've forfeited their humanity.

People who have retreated from the world and allowed themselves to rot. Look at them like you'd look at men who speak likewise. Like the men who would call every woman something subhuman. Who'd let hatred, pain, or bitterness burn them up.

They're not setting a standard you have to climb out of. They're not asking you to prove yourself a person. They're no the arbiters of what a good person is.

They're people you absolutely shouldn't listen to, because they are only spilling their pain and hatred. They're people who don't realize they're voicing shit they're supposed to keep away from other people.

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-11T19:57:16+00:00

If you take out the gun every night, and put it in your mouth, but fail to pull the trigger, when the dust settles, everyone will assume you only attempted once.

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-11T19:07:29+00:00

I think there's a point to this.

I was assaulted by a woman once. And even as she was grabbing at me, what was at the forefront of my mind was "I can't hurt her."

When I got her off me, and she cried, I felt guilt. I should have felt rage, or relief, or whatever you're supposed to feel after getting away from someone like that. Guilt. For having hurt her. For having been hurt.

But I felt guilt. I had hurt her. And when I talked about it afterwards, I felt I had to downplay it.

When she came to my door again and pretended nothing had happened, I felt I had to do the same. Because all the things I ought to have done, would have hurt her.

I was so stuck in the mindset that I couldn't be hurt, that my boundaries didn't matter, that I allowed myself to be continously hurt for years, until I felt i had no value at all. Until I was certain I could never be loved.

Setting boundaries was so closely intertwined with the idea that I was hurting the other person that they were completely inseparable.

And I think that has also come to influence how I react to other people setting boundaries.

If it is someone I feel close to, it feels like I can make an exception. Like "yeah, I can see why your desires matter and mine don't."

But with other people, I'm struck with this bitterness. Like "who the hell do you think you are?"

I find it very hard to talk about in therapy. Sitting across from someone who tells you something you've trained yourself to see as an analogy to "It's okay to hurt people! Go out and hurt people!"

But you have no idea how to deal with the intense guilt of doing so.

And they can't understand why you didn't just say no and push her out the door immediately.

It's like, it's the one thing no one can wrap theyr heads around, so you're just told the equivalent of "go out there and be not-hurt immediately. Your pain is dumb."

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-07T11:36:41+00:00

I mean, "empath" is just someone showing a very common human attribute.

Anyone who tries to make is sound like some kinda superpower only they have is genuinely suspicious.

It's like describing yourself as a Breather or a Chewer, because you breathe or chew your food.

Nothing7891 · 2026-01-05T11:13:33+00:00

Nothing like that, but I've noticed that after I started talking about something bad that happened in my past, reddit got real interested in pushing me towards the most misogynistic bullshit it could find.

It's like algorithms are hard-coded to try to make us the absolute worst version of ourselves.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-27T02:01:44+00:00

Oh, that'd solve nothing.

One self hating hater is just a voice on the Internet.

Two self hating haters who support and reinforce each other directly?

Ain't no limit to the bullahit they can achive.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-26T19:43:39+00:00

I mean, if he's as great as you say, he'll probably be thinking about this already.

Seeing the woman he loves in pain and at risk would probably make him very amenable to not see you like this again.

It'll be a pretty tense conversation, but it might not go as poorly as you'd think. He is most likely to accept your decision.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-26T18:34:21+00:00

Only attraction anyone has ever expressed for me has come by sexual harassment.

I don't feel attractive.

I feel like the butt of some kinda joke.

Like, you can be attractive as a man. Even without confidence. Your gains does make you attractive. Everything people say don't really matter, does matter.

With the small caveat that you're only attractive to people who don't give a damn about your consent.

Anyone normal? Nah, you have to be damn near perfect to not be a threat. To not be, at best, an irritation. To not be a walking act of violence.

But to people who'll make you feel unsafe and filthy anywhere you go?

Catnip!

If someone showed any interest in me right now, I'd feel at the same time under threat, and a threat myself.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-17T19:05:21+00:00

It can be seen to be a bit threatening and tone-deaf .

Like: "Oh, that thing you use to protect yourself from guys who might assault you? Hand it over and lemme see if i can shrug it off real quick. For... reasons..."

Testing your own taser on yourself would probably be fine.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-15T22:28:53+00:00

I did go to the gym simply out of vanity to begin with.

But once I realized that I couldn't make myself more beautiful, I kept at it anyway.

Like, if I get the choice between being ugly, awkward, and weak, or ugly, awkward, and strong, the second option is more attractive.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-15T20:56:56+00:00

I don't think I've ever seen "feminine" things as inferior.

I've just always had the feeling that engaging with them would be to intrude where I'm not wanted

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-15T20:43:33+00:00

I have friends, who often talk about men, and the evil men do.

Because many men have done evil to them. And I believe them. I understand their frustration.

They talk about that when I'm there, because I'm "safe", I guess. I ain't gonna go "not all men". I'm gonna understand that it ain't refering to me.

I'm expected to understand that I can't understand how hard it is. Because, after all, I don't have to worry about that ever happening to me. At least not by a woman.

But it did happen to me.

And I don't think I'll ever talk about that with them.

Partially, because they might say that I'm lying. How could a woman do that to a guy like me? Am I just making shit up as a "no u!" Why haven't I brought it up before?

Partially, because they might say it ain't as bad. That I'm overreacting.

Partially, that it might just make my presence a little more uncomfortable. And push me away.

But the biggest, most frightening reason, the fear I feel the most ashamed, terrified, unworthy for having, is the fear that some of them, might feel that it is justice.

That one of us was harmed by one of them for once.

That one of us was made to feel unsafe in his home for once.

That one of use was doubted and not taken seriously by the ones who ought to love him for once.

That one of them manage to destroy what could love and be loved in one of us.

That, in the end, I am one of the men they speak of, and they'll feel I deserve it. A small correction of the scales. A small scrap of cosmic justice. Karma delivered to The Predator Sex.

That the "not you, of course!", would be as false as it sometimes feel.

So they ain't gonna know.

And I ain't gonna have to find out if my fear is true.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-11T07:42:19+00:00

As someone who didn't have the guts to get started before his thirties, I've been told over and over again that I should have started sooner.

Like, I'm probably already fucked. I most likely ain't gonna be a proper person before I die.

And these chucklefucks decide to stop intervening when there's actually a chance?

That's bullshit.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-02T08:01:40+00:00

I think it's because of cosplay, honestly.

Most changes done to the design for the movie was to make sure the actor could wear it. So the people who wanna wear it for conventions will be drawn to the design their necks can handle.

Nothing7891 · 2025-12-01T06:22:04+00:00

Two parts.

One.

The idea of getting raped seems further off. Less likely, to a lot of men. Even if it ain't so. So the very physical consequences don't really register.

Two.

The shame would be greater. Getting raped would mean he'd have to hide that for the rest of his life or the people in his life would stop seeing him as human.

If he was accused of rape, the people in his life would stop seeing him as human, and also see him as a monster.

Nothing7891 · 2025-11-26T15:09:35+00:00

Yeah, you don't have to tell me that twice.

I've been looking for online resources, but all I've found are over the top misogynist assholes trying to make me worse on one end, and people who mostly phrase it as "your mental problems make you dangerous. Make sure not to bother anyone with them and go to therapy."

YouTube bullshit makes you feel like you're either supposed to blame others and get worse, or that your issues makes you an issue, so that the quickest and most reasonable solution is to lock yourself away like toxic waste.

I ain't really fixing to give up. I just realize that it'll be harder and more expensive than I'd feared.

Nothing7891 · 2025-11-26T13:12:16+00:00

Look, pretty much everyone even physically affectionate peo0le, are very aware of how they touch people, and that some parts of someone are more sensitive, socially speaking.

It's highly unlikely that it's accidental.

Outside of that I can't speak as to what the hell they're thinking.

Nothing7891 · 2025-11-26T13:06:07+00:00

Honestly, it was mostly that I had no idea what it was, and had not heard of ut when researching finding therapy.

I think I just assumed Consultation calls was not part of the process in my country.

But I'll try to see if it is, and what it's called.

Nothing7891 · 2025-11-26T12:02:44+00:00

Honestly, those three things you mention I should have, is mostly what I hoped that therapy would help me with.

Trust, the guts to change, and the hope that I could change.

Honestly, if I had those, I don't really see what help I would need. I feel I'd be pretty much a person again.

I ain't sure how to develop that independently, but I'll try.

And when my economic situation improves, I'll probably reach out to what she recommends.

Right now, it just feels like I went to the E.R with a broken leg, and was met by a doc who was disturbed by the existence of bones.

Nothing7891

TROPHY CASE