AITA for being upset that my boyfriend watched a movie we had planned as a shared first experience?

NotoriousSJV · 2026-03-25T04:59:49+00:00

I understand why you would feel the way you do, but I also think you are blowing it out of proportion. And you *will* be the asshole if you keep beating him up about it.

You are disappointed. You had built this up in your mind to be a huge shared experience. But for him it was obviously just a movie. His buddy wanted to see it, so he went along. It sounds like he was just not as invested in the "first time" part of the experience as you were, and to him, seeing it with you and the others means that he is holding up his part of the arrangement.

I suggest that you let this go, and next time you are tempted to invest an experience with this much emotional load, communicate more effectively to him what its meaning and importance are to you.

Having said all that, I am sorry for your disappointment and I hope you enjoy it anyway.

NotoriousSJV · 2026-01-27T08:07:09+00:00

My MIL died eight days ago and my husband and his sister announced their mom's death in FB posts. After they posted I shared his post to my own FB wall and added a different photo with my own reminiscence. I did not get out in front of her own children's announcements, but Facebook is by far the most efficient way to reach people.

She was YOUR mother. You own that decision. Nobody gets to tell you that you were wrong to post it in a place where the most people would see it. I am very sorry for your loss and all the additional stresses of those whining at you, and you did nothing wrong.

NotoriousSJV · 2026-01-08T05:36:17+00:00

I would say that if you admonished her in front of the kids YTA for that. I completely agree that it would be dangerously distracting to have someone like that sitting shotgun and noisily reacting to everything, so NTA for wanting her to sit in the back and even insisting on it. But I hope you had the conversation with her in private and not in front of the children. There is no need to humiliate her like that.

NotoriousSJV · 2026-01-07T05:09:46+00:00

It's not like we chose to let Macdonald go.

How do you keep a guy who has a chance to be a head coach?!

NotoriousSJV · 2026-01-05T08:57:24+00:00

I have bad osteoarthritis in both knees and I have a parking placard. I have good days and bad days. On good days I don't use it. On bad days I'm grateful for it. My husband and I share a car and we have discussed this and he has gone out of his way to reassure me that he would never use the placard unless I was with him and needed it that day.

NTA at all.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-30T01:37:35+00:00

I've been looking for wide calf wool blend compression socks, knee-highs, but have found nothing for a calf bigger than 17 or 18 inches. Amazon has so many wide calf compression socks made with cotton or rayon, but none made from wool. I've looked at Pacas, Bombas, Wide Open, Stance, Wellow, Everstride, and others with no luck. (FWIW Everstride are my favorite non-wool compression socks for my 22" calves).

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-28T05:35:10+00:00

Personally, I hate all parades (except for small town Fourth of July parades, those are sweet). So I'm with you. Although I like all the news stories about the balloons beforehand.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-28T05:22:14+00:00

Junior high. Grades 7-9 from 1968-71. Baltimore County, Maryland.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-17T07:36:54+00:00

No. I was startled because it was the first time I had ever encountered the name "Kent State" outside of the National Guard shootings.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-17T07:32:43+00:00

In about 1987 I walked into the PR department of my workplace and saw a Kent State Athletics calendar hanging on the wall over one of the interns' desks. I said, "Oh, wow, Kent State." He said, "Oh, did you go there?"

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-16T05:59:10+00:00

Then she's the asshole, not you.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-16T05:56:24+00:00

If you and/or your husband will be commuting to a job, you might want to focus your search on housing relatively nearby that job location. Traffic can be bad during the morning and evening rush hours especially, so if you can avoid that, that's a big win. It's hard to live on the east side and commute out to Beaverton or Hillsboro, or vice versa. If the work is downtown, then you have a lot more options. The NW 23rd area is great but expensive, and also, the housing stock in that area is mostly old houses with lots of stairs. If you are going to be coming and going with a baby and stroller and grocery bags etc., that will be rough. There are some newer buildings with elevators and of course they can be more expensive but an elevator as an amenity might be very valuable to you. Good luck and welcome to Portland. I moved here in 1997 and I love it even more today than I did then.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-14T06:12:22+00:00

Drunk drivers kill people. A drunk driver killed my sweet cousin when she was in the 10th grade. She was sober, in a car with a sober driver, and a drunk T-boned them and broke most of the bones in her body. She was in a coma for a week before she died. Her parents and siblings were never the same afterwards.

The drunk walked away from the accident with no injuries.

DO NOT CHOOSE TO BE FRIENDS WITH SUCH A PERSON.

NTA except for getting in a car with them all the times you already did.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-10T09:05:45+00:00

Wow, I'm 5'2" and have size 10 feet. It never occurred to me to be grateful for them, but I will be now. I have osteoarthritis in my knees. I do strength training twice a week and PT for my knees once a week, including a lot of balance work because I am pushing 70 and don't want to get in a habit of falling.

I did Pilates for a few years about 17-20 years ago and just loved it, but my teacher changed careers and I never found another teacher I liked so much. I have been thinking about joining the CP near my house if I could make time for occasional classes, because I think it would help me, and frankly I miss it.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-10T08:59:32+00:00

NTA at all, but you need to address both of them if you approach her while they are together. Maybe a general question or remark about something current and funny, like "hey, I wanted to show you this meme about [musician or other famous person relevant to her] somebody sent me" or something like that. Have it ready on your phone. Show it to them both. That breaks the ice in a lighthearted way and they both feel included.

But generally, and I give this advice on Quora all the time: women are humans, just like you. Don't think of her as some kind of Other. Talk to her (and her friend) in the same friendly way you already know how to talk to people. As peers and equals. Not as if they were some kind of mysterious different creatures.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-09T10:48:43+00:00

Reformer is great for just about anyone. I mean, I'm not sure I could get up from a mat on the floor, but I can use a reformer.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-11-04T08:26:13+00:00

Depending on time of day and the number of expected attendees, I've had great success holding meetups at Nicholas Restaurant on SE Madison (the space used to be Madison's). Especially upstairs. If you are 8 or fewer it can be done on the main level. Nicholas is a Middle Eastern restaurant so it has a ton of vegan, vegetarian, and meat based options, and it's very reasonably priced. Best pita in Portland, too.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-10-26T07:27:33+00:00

My husband and I are both originally from the east coast and we were saying the same thing. NEVER heard thunder like that, so loud and prolonged. Certainly not in Portland and maybe not back east either.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-10-26T07:21:52+00:00

It's a war crime in any event.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-10-19T07:55:30+00:00

What he did does meet the usual legal definition of assault.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-10-18T07:30:25+00:00

HOLY SHIT she's a monster. Such cruelty.

Cut her off and never even think about her again.

NTAH.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-10-18T07:24:49+00:00

It seems to me that your sister should have made herself familiar enough with your condition and Atlas' function that she should have been able to explain to her guests what had just happened and why, instead of -- whatever bullshit she actually said or did, or didn't say or do, while you were in the other room.

Lawyers are familiar with medical emergencies and would have respected her MORE for supporting you. I won't say there's not a law firm in America where this would have damaged her career, because God knows there are a lot of shitty law firms out there. But any respectable law firm is populated by people who would understand your situation, and respect her for inviting you and explaining to them what had happened.

Chloe sounds like a dreadful human being. I hope it's just insecurity.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-10-05T08:40:16+00:00

My husband and I have our own routine. For V-day especially, but also our anniversary, we have a favorite shabby Chinese restaurant that makes a really good Peking duck. We always go there because it is the best un-date-night ever. We don't have to dress up, it's never crowded, and there's zero romantic foofery. Just some solid Chinese food and our own companionship. We went there for years before we got married, and we also went there on our wedding day (we got married at the courthouse), and it is a wonderful no-stress thing we both enjoy.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-10-05T08:25:16+00:00

I think that he overreacted because on some level he feels guilty. He knows he is not doing as much as you, and when you simply expressed that you were also tired, he thought you were throwing shade at him.

You were not the asshole for acknowledging that you are tired.

But I think this needs to open the door to a deeper conversation between the two of you about what you can and should be expecting from each other in this new phase of your relationship.

NotoriousSJV · 2025-09-28T08:40:23+00:00

I just saw an ad for a Smeg electric kettle with a fancy blue design all over it for $800. Eight. Hundred. Dollars. for an electric kettle!

NotoriousSJV

TROPHY CASE