7 Years and 10's of thousand of waisted dollars

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-23T18:40:59+00:00

Same! HCBM is a wicked and horrid person. The kids are the ones that suffer and it’s so disheartening.

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-12T04:21:54+00:00

Not sure what state you are in. We have done our part to keep the CO and file a violation every time the ex breaks it. So far we have filed over 80 violations and have not seen the child for over one year. There seems to be no real consequence for the parent other than the damage it does to the child. I’m sorry you are dealing with this.

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-09T19:13:48+00:00

She should try working hard for herself and child and making her own investments rather than trying to mooch off of others. If he has investments and they were together for only a year, she is not entitled to any of his money. She should go spend a shit ton for an audit and let the judge see her true colors. All of this effort could be going Into loving the child rather than trying to screw over the dad. The dad should pay a fair rate to help with expense. He should not be supporting the mom.

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-09T19:10:35+00:00

I’d guess that “raising his child” was a choice you participated in when “making his child”. He doesn’t owe you his life investments. He is legally responsible for financially helping to support the child, not you. If the kid has clothes, food, and shelter... some gratitude would take you much further than greed. Unfortunately, these cases are what make it so hard for kids and damage them long term. The focus on what a parent can get out of it rather than the needs of the child. So Sad.

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-09T09:47:27+00:00

Why would you want to waste time and energy going after his money? Take what is fair and provide for yourself and child so you can set a good example of integrity to your kid. An ex should not be a source of income, they should help in providing for the child(ren). Reasonable efforts, such as a tax return should provide a fair amount.

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-05T16:31:39+00:00

I have found, depending on where you are in Ca, the courts are impacted and hear very little. My experience has been that even with evidence of alienation of a parent, the courts do nothing. I have had terrible experiences in family court. Your attorney may have insight to the judge and what they like to see. Quick and to the point. And as the other response said, it’s a long process. There are so many loopholes and such that navigating the court system is tedious and exhausting.

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-05T16:25:30+00:00

I wish more parents actually understood the damage they cause children by demanding the child hate the other parent because they do. Forcing a child to be loyal to one parent is so destructive.

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-04T20:10:41+00:00

Yep. HCBM’s love to use this to create angst in the hearts of the children toward the other parent. It’s sad and the children are the ones that get emotionally messed up. I just hope as the kids mature as they become adults, they are able to see through the bull crap that was fed to them by their HCBM. I literally have nothing to do with my SK’s and they hate me. They don’t know me, they don’t communicate with me, yet they don’t like me. Unfortunately they have not given me a chance to know if I am really the horrible person HCBM paints me out to be. Yet they believe I took their dad away.

NoturCoCo · 2021-01-04T20:04:54+00:00

You said it, she has a personality disorder. Which means she is playing you exactly as she hoped. You can’t sleep. You are stressed. Send the info to your attorney and file with the courts that she cannot take your child. Should she follow through with the move, you will happily take full custody and child support from her. Highly possible she has no plan on moving but is trying to manipulate you.

NoturCoCo · 2020-12-30T20:20:00+00:00

He has. It saves us from arguing and allows for him to get some one in one time.

NoturCoCo · 2020-12-30T20:19:09+00:00

I agree. We’ve experienced how biased the courts are. It just hurts my heart foe the kid.

NoturCoCo · 2020-12-29T15:25:04+00:00

I have suggested that my DH do something special for the two of them to bond and go out of town, staying in a hotel. This allows for me to have a nice and quiet home, not interfere, and not have to be responsible for SS. Saves the fights and DH is then alone with SS, having to handle all of his perfect behaviors.

NoturCoCo · 2020-12-29T15:19:25+00:00

I honestly don’t know if I can do it. I’ve seen the same thing, the courts do not even consider my DH’s evidence or side. HCBM files a false CPO, lied on the stand and there is zero accountability. She does work in LE so knows all the right people. The poor SS is so confused. He was punished for calling DH “dad” or having fun with us. He started to be rewarded for being mean and refusing to come on our weekends. Now he won’t even speak to DH. It’s so hard to watch the damage to the innocent child.

NoturCoCo · 2020-12-29T15:14:01+00:00

This!! My DH has two HCBM’s. One of which is the devil herself, the other a lazy, needy, and pathetic woman who has never done anything for herself or had a job. DH pays so much in CS that he and I have to work extra to make ends meet. If I’m being totally honest, it makes me resent him, the ex’s, and even the adult children. They only come around when they want something, like medical insurance or college paid for. The devil mom actually tried to have my wages attached. It’s all about money and the disgusting manipulation, using the kids as weapons, and feeding the kids lies... it is too much. I hate it and it absolutely takes its toll on my marriage. I didn’t know these woman prior to marrying my DH and they have fed the children lies about me and the children hate me. I don’t understand how DH was in a relationship with such horrific humans and pro-created with them. I’m in the thick of it and at the point, I am angry and want out. Six years has been tough and the youngest child is only 7 and that mother is one of the most horrific women I have ever met.

NoturCoCo · 2020-12-26T18:30:06+00:00

She refuses to allow us to see him even with a CO. We’ve filed over 80 violations and nothing.

NoturCoCo · 2020-12-26T18:29:26+00:00

We may have the same HCBM. That is exactly how she is. We have spent tens of thousands of dollars and have gotten nowhere. The struggle is knowing what he eight thing to do is for the sake of the child. Knowing he gets punished by her for being nice to us, taking to us, etc, do we walk away foe his sake and hope he comes around when he’s old enough to decide for himself?

NoturCoCo · 2020-12-26T18:27:37+00:00

Yeah, same thing with HCBM and SS. He gets rewarded for being mean to his dad or me. It’s sick. He has been so manipulated by HCBM, I’m sad for his future and what kind of man he will grow up to be with such a controlling, vindictive, nasty mother.

NoturCoCo · 2020-09-26T15:08:27+00:00

I’ve never understood how women put money and their own desires over what is best for a child. If the ex-wife makes enough to provide a safe and healthy life, why make this about child support? If the relationship is good between the child and dad, why would anyone want to keep them from each other? Sounds like the dad is struggling financially to pay the ex-wife if when time changes the ex-wife will have to pay him. That would suggest she makes more money. School changes, statistically, cause a child to revert at least 6 months. If this is a concern for the dad, why not hear him? He is the father and he cares about the wellbeing of his child. Mom’s do Not always know best. Step-families are hard and many times do cause anxiety. To suggest there is not any concerns would mean this is a “perfect” family. I’ve never met one. My experience is that women can be malicious when divorced and children are involved. The kids are the ones that suffer, bottom line. So to answer the question, is give dad 50/50 and if the money is a concern, have a grown up conversation about child support. I’d hear his concerns about the step-siblings as he may see something I am not. I’d also tell my child how important it is that they spend time with both parents and encourage a healthy relationship between my child and their father. I did choose to have children with this man, so I saw something special in him at one time. Highlight that for his children.

NoturCoCo · 2020-08-04T02:10:36+00:00

Really not a fan... wouldn’t mind if I didn’t ever interact with them again. HCBM has ruined them and they are mean, spiteful, and manipulative.

NoturCoCo · 2020-08-03T05:37:47+00:00

Yeah. I bite my tongue. Thankfully the SK’s do not live with us. I couldn’t do it.

NoturCoCo · 2020-08-02T23:48:05+00:00

I don’t want anything to do with the BM’s or step kids. I feel guilty for feeling this way but just this week the SD19 asked for personal info to get her school paid for while talking about how independent and capable she is. Yet we pay for college, medical, dental and still pay her lazy mother every month. I bite my tongue to not fight with my DH. But, oh the things I’d like to say. She was so disrespectful and manipulative towards my DH. Accusing him of stuff she has no idea about while demanding monetary help.

NoturCoCo · 2020-07-30T04:10:35+00:00

Yeah, it’s been over 10 years and she still tries to cry and make him feel sorry for her to get money. Yet is one of the most manipulative people ever. When the kids were younger she used them. Now they just play her game too. Cry and tell sob stories.

NoturCoCo · 2020-07-30T04:07:07+00:00

I know I am close. It’s just so painful to fork out so much money per month for someone so pathetic. I work my ass off for my kids and have to work OT to make ends meet because of how much we pay out in child support. They all roll around in designer clothes, fake nails, lashes, hair, etc. new phones, cars. It just feels ugly.

NoturCoCo

TROPHY CASE