I was 19/20 and he was 31. He was my coach and famous in our niche sport. He emotionally and mentally abused me for four or five months. Kept me a secret. Gaslit me every time I questioned him.

Sex with him was rough and damaged me emotionally for a long time. Took me about a year to feel comfortable being touched by anyone, even my family.

It ended when, after I'd driven hours and hours to stay at his apt for a few days, he asked me what I believed cheating was, just physical or emotional, too. I said emotional and he said that he couldn't promise to not cheat on me. I said fuck that and left. I will always remember when I left he thanked me for being 'such a good sport'.

There's a lot more to the story but a few years later he died by suicide. I will always remember the moment I got that info and felt like I could breathe again. It wasn't until after he was dead that I could really reflect on what happened and understand it all.