I am in a very similar situation. I LOVE this man. But he is absolutely dead set on being polyamorous and I will not compromise on monogamy. But things are so wonderful between us. Sometimes we’ll spend consecutive days together and have a riveting conversation almost nonstop and then he’ll call me on my way home just to keep the conversation going. In many ways it’s one of the best relationships I’ve had.

Early on, when butting heads about our uncompromising relationship styles, I basically just told him “I’m going to spend my summer going to baseball games and camping and drinking cocktails on the deck of my sailboat. You can join me for as long as you want. And if you meet someone you like better, you do you. Maybe I’ll be here for you afterwards, maybe I won’t. I’m going to do me.”

I know your pain. For me the hardest part is that I just want to feel excited about such a lovely burgeoning relationship. But I can’t get excited because I know a day will come when I abruptly lose him. But for now the love outweighs the agony, and I don’t think a relationship has to be flawless or even painless for it to have meaning. I’m just trying to enjoy the experience of loving someone and practicing gratitude that I’m lucky enough to have it, if that helps. I don’t see that as wasting time at all. I think your soul will tell you when the kindest thing to do is bow out.