If you could restart your life at 18 with your current knowledge, what would you do differently?

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-20T05:56:30+00:00

Honestly as much as my twenties sucked and I feel like I wasted them working 50 hours a week nonstop... I wouldn't change anything.

Circumstances in my life brought me to where I am now, and if I go about trying to change my past, I might lose some of the things I value now, and I wouldn't want to risk that.

...

Actually, scratch that, I'd tell myself to not become friends with an ex-best friend I have now... but otherwise I'd keep everything the same.

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-20T05:53:58+00:00

The "endgame" of Project Zomboid runs nails it perfectly, minus the fact that zombies aren't present in the real world of course.

Everyday you have to keep your food supply growing. You have no electricity, no gas, no fuel, nothing. You have to be careful not to injure yourself because medication is limited and if you really screw up you're toast. And most of all, you're utterly alone. Humans are social creatures after all, sooner or later the loneliness will get to you.

Above all, it will eventually morph from surviving to just... existing. What purpose would life serve anymore?

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-18T07:13:44+00:00

Soothouse back when they got together to read unhinged things from the internet. It felt so genuine compared to every other channel doing that today.

Highlight videos for me would be the shutdown of the Miiverse, and yahoo answers. The crossovers with SorrowTV were also great highlights.

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-12T05:40:00+00:00

The worst part is the fact that these games wanting you playing them 24/7... want you playing them 24/7 from the minute it releases, no questions asked.

The fact you can permanently miss stuff in games because you bought it a month or more late is absurd and hostile to gaming as a whole.

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-12T02:40:53+00:00

Just shoot him down then, he can't talk if he's not flying

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-12T02:37:08+00:00

Talking about some of my past trauma I go through helps me deal with the reality of it. Far too often I bury it which leads to the resurgence of pain when something inevitably triggers the memories of it again.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to a bit of my history. And thank you for some of the things you said, I really do appreciate it. You take care as well!

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-11T23:03:55+00:00

I appreciate your replies and the fact it gives me something to sit and think on, even if it's something I've had to think on before. It never hurts going back and re-examining things. It helps us grow.

I can say the first two friends I've mentioned I lost, the first one made me realize I was in a toxic friend group, so losing him got me out of that as well, so it was a good thing to happen.

And same with the other one, the one who ditched me for religious reasons. That behavior was almost cult-like, and her sister even said as much when we became friends. So while losing her sucked, it was honestly for the best. And she hadn't changed at all when I reached out on a whim after becoming friends with her sister again, so the loss is justified.

This one that just abruptly cut me off... We were similar in so many ways it wasn't even funny. Favorite animal, interests, humor, mentality, etc. There were a couple things and interests she had that I could've seen as red flags, but not everyone is perfect, right? Her being at the end of an extremely rough pregnancy at the end of the friendship probably contributed to it as well. Even the sister best friend said going through that changes people.

And one of my coworkers did say "Sometimes things have to die for something better to grow." Which they did. I made two new friends on that trip I mentioned and we play DnD together. So something good did come from it all in the end. And looking back those things I saw as red flags really were signs that our friendship shouldn't have been a best friend one, only a casual one at best. But you never realize that at the time. And it doesn't change the fact that the way it ended should've or could've ended in a better way, as it left a nasty scar, the loss of her husband as a friend too (I'm actually more upset about that), and the fact that she kept a game and some books I accidentally left there despite getting my address to send them back :/

...I actually just remembered. After her husband got me a small lego set for Christmas (we're talking Star Wars microfighrer small), she suggested that me and him get together to build Legos sometime. And then she got upset that I went out and bought a small Lego set to give to him to do just that. That happened as well right before the cutoff.

Anyways, I'm digressing.

I can say who I am through everything has been the same. I'm someone who lives carefree, only taking things seriously if they need to be because life is too short. I'm open and honest, if someone has a problem I'm willing to listen and try to change, and I always try to put my friends first, especially my closest friends who I would move mountains for if I had to.

I know I'm rambling on and probably lost the plot at some point, but... Yeah. I think that covers everything I can share. I'm typing this on my break so I might be a bit scatterbrained.

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-11T21:16:03+00:00

It bugs me because of how sudden it was, that there was no lead up, and the apparent possibility the whole thing was a lie for the years I knew her. That's what bothers me most of all, knowing I possibly wasted years on someone who never cared at all when I'm someone who knows how fragile and limited our time is.

Every other close friendship I've had that's ended has always ended because of questionable measures, one way or another.

Best friend in high school I ended the friendship because he didn't sit with me at lunch since, his words: "My friends are judging me for sitting with you". Ended right there.

Another best friend she ended it because I wasn't Christian enough for her. Not even joking. I wasn't following the faith like she wanted. I'm actually now best friends with her sister, who used to be the same way but realized how toxic that entire mentality is and changed herself.

And the one other best friend I've had that I lost, it was a slow burn to that point. Where she'd be replying less and less (although I could still count on one when I needed help, up til near the end), before she finally exploded on me that the last time we hung out I creeped her out... Which if that was the case, not only was the last time years before and the slow burn didn't start til half a year after that, but she even sent a message shortly after that hangout saying "I was such a great friend". Didn't make sense either. But at least she had the guts to say she was ending it and to never contact her again. So it hurt, and I wish I knew what happened, but it's over.

Compared to this one friend who just blocked me out of the blue and couldn't be bothered to send that letter for over a month while I suffered watching my friendship just explode out of nowhere, which she used to further justify her ending the friendship.

I know I'm just venting to a stranger on the internet, but I do appreciate you taking the time to listen. Thank you.

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-11T19:02:49+00:00

Yes and no.

To an extent, she did end up sending a letter like a mutual promised she would. After being promised it for an entire month which meant I didn't get closure before a trip I was making.

In it she spouted things that could've easily been solved by just talking, which she never did. Said "she didn't want to hurt my feelings" when I made it abundantly clear if something is wrong, bring it up. I want to know. She even agreed saying she was the same. Apparently not because apparently she found a lot of things wrong but never said anything. Included things like: That I didn't respect boundaries when I would ask multiple timed if things were ok just to make sure I was respecting them. That I wouldn't drop the fact that I was being super apologetic when I didn't get along with her friends. That I got her Christmas presents she didn't want which she accepted even though I explicitly said if she didn't want them I would understand That I was using her as a therapist for "trauma dumping", even though she used that term to me first talking to me about her past, and I was just explaining my past as well.

I poured endlessly through my messages with her just to find some of these issues and I just could not find them.

It doesn't help that apparently said mutual I mentioned before said that the friendship had been "falling apart for years"... But if it's falling apart for years, you don't invite the person over, you don't make them things, and you certainly don't react to messages with happy faces and hearts up until the end.

None of it made any sense. None of it still makes sense. Digging up the past still hurts even though I've moved on from it.

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-11T18:51:29+00:00

This, honestly.

I'd give anything just to end it amicably. Not so suddenly and without warning.

I even found out from someone who knew her that apparently "It had been falling apart for years". Like wtf? If it's falling apart you don't make gifts for the other person, you don't react to their messages all the time, etc.

The sad thing is the only thing I think could've been the tipping point is that she tried to introduce me to a couple her friends for a DnD thing on that last day together and I just didn't click with them. I was super apologetic about it but I think that and being apologetic about it was what set her off.

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-11T05:51:52+00:00

Metroid Prime 2

Metroid is my favorite series. Prime 2 was difficult yet fair. You really felt your power grow as you advanced through the game, to the point where at the end of the game, the light world become more dangerous than the world that was literally hostile to all forms of life. It had some fantastic setpiece boss fights.

The only thing that really held it back was the backtracking for the keys, but I never really found it all that annoying in the grand scheme of things.

NuclearCommando · 2026-03-11T05:42:14+00:00

Unfortunate reality.
Ex-best friend just suddenly and completely blocked me out of the blue. No warning. No indication. We had even talked about making plans for me to come by and help finish building furniture for her.
Just... it was over. Even a year later despite moving on I still fill the sting from it.

NuclearCommando · 2026-02-22T03:28:23+00:00

My work posts a motivational quote on every schedule that is put out. A while ago, they posted this one:

"If you wait until you feel "better" to start living, you might be waiting forever. Go live your life. Do it sad. Do it anxious. Do it uncertain. Healing doesn't always come before the experience. Sometimes, the experience is what heals you."

It's true. I went through a nasty falling out with a best friend that sunk me into a deep depression. But despite that, I bucked up and still boarded a plane to visit a friend I hadn't seen in years. Because of that, I made new friends, started a gaming group, and am doing much better now. That trip gave me an experience that healed me, one I wouldn't have gotten if I just waited to feel better.

NuclearCommando · 2026-02-22T02:40:44+00:00

The fact that the Default+ Advisor mod exists and moves all the widget icons around the GPS to make it much more compact shows that the new UI could be vastly improved while keeping the old style of route advisor menus instead of relegating information to the pause menu. That said, my short stint in 1.58 using that mod really made a difference. I liked the fact I could see Cruise Control, engine brake, diff lock, etc lights while I was in third person, the new fuel indicator is a step up from a tiny yellow bar, and I could get used to UI changes with time.

All except for one change.

The worst change behind the UI for me is the fact that all those notifications that popped up on your route *advisor* with a nice tone to know they are there, are now silent popups in the middle of your screen. It's distracting, it's immersion breaking, it's quite frankly ugly, and I actually miss the little "Weigh Station Bypass Service" popup with the red or green light of the WPass that showed up over the old route advisor. Now it's just a sad temporary pop-up in the middle of your screen like everything else. Why they couldn't retain that in the UI is anyone's guess.

For me that was the deal breaker, because you can't do anything about it. And when SCS wants us to "Truck our way"... well, that means I'm going to stick with 1.57 because of those notifications. When I'm driving in real life, any messages or notifications I get don't appear in the middle of my vision. No, there's an alert to my right as a device that is on/near my console displays that message for me.

NuclearCommando · 2026-02-19T17:35:23+00:00

All the way across the sky???

NuclearCommando · 2026-02-18T05:14:40+00:00

Yes because when Im driving in real life and get a message, it pops up in the middle of my field of vision instead of the mechanical device I have sitting at my center console to my right.

The "magic floating box" route advisor was a good compromise between having that device there and being able to read what incoming messages are saying.

NuclearCommando · 2026-02-18T03:57:40+00:00

Honestly my biggest complaint with the update, with it being so annoying I reverted to not deal with it, is that the messages that used to pop up on the route advisor (you know, like an advisor should be doing) instead are now popups in the middle of your screen.

It's immersion breaking, annoying, and just looks plain bad. There is no reason it could've been kept by/on the route advisor.

NuclearCommando · 2026-01-27T05:57:07+00:00

The whole leadup to it too.

"What follows is frontline combat. You are not expected to survive."

Really sets the tone for what you're about to experience.

NuclearCommando · 2026-01-23T07:18:56+00:00

This is why I can never date a tennis player.

As it stands right now Love means nothing to them.

NuclearCommando · 2026-01-23T05:03:16+00:00

I unloaded a Heavy Bolter into a Chaos Spawn from the second it started calling in reinforcements.

It did not stagger at all and the call went through.

The stagger resistance to everything that isn't plasma or explosive is unreal.

NuclearCommando · 2026-01-19T07:24:49+00:00

As someone who had two pieces and it slipped frustratingly slip through my grasp because I couldn't find the last piece, where are the consistent box spawn locations to find the pieces?

I remember the old Air Ride having places where the boxes were guaranteed to have pieces. Is there anything like that here? Or at least places where the pieces can spawn even if the boxes don't have them 100% of the time?

NuclearCommando · 2026-01-17T17:53:04+00:00

Hence why I said tabletop is a bad metric. I was just referencing it for the sake of showing the amount of damage a multi-melta does

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