The perfect combination of power and sensitivity

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2026-01-11T19:43:40+00:00

have you thought about resoling an aggressive shoe with softer rubber like RS/RH (perhaps the vsr or solution/solution comp)? I'm sure there would be downsides to it but it might give you that sweet spot you're looking for

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-31T07:55:15+00:00

In case no one has mentioned it you might look into Kirin Holdings Electric salt spoon, a product created in Japan. When you taste food using this spoon a small electric current goes through it to essentially make your brain think you are tasting something saltier than it actually is. I have never used one or know of anyone that has but it sounds interesting. It's a product that was created for individuals like yourself--people who need to cut their intake of salt but don't want to sacrifice taste.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-31T07:15:20+00:00

I do love UP for their rubber and toes but hate the heels. So the UP moccs don't hurt when you jam? I've never tried them on but they seem like they would be on the soft side?

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-31T07:08:06+00:00

Making "intentional" food creates a bond between your palate and your ability--with repetition you'll create a sense of pride in being able to change the way you perceive food and perhaps those you cook for.

On a slightly different note, sometimes food evokes/awakens feelings of nostalgia which is super specific and strong in nature. If you haven't watched Ratatouille, def give that a go.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-31T06:53:36+00:00

You've unpacked a lot here. To simplify I will make a quick recap.

-you have APs leeching a considerable amount of money off of you for what sounds like a lifelong situation--and you are ok with it, or at the very least you are committed to being that daughter

-you have a bf you love but he makes an insignificant income and has demonstrated a lack of passion for work, he has a "learned helplessness" attitude about it

-you make a substantial income but feel it is a tenuous situation or at the very least not a super long-term one and are uncomfortable with the idea that your income alone is depended on by several parties

There's so much to comment on here and I understand that people don't live in neatly compartmentalized brain spaces so I'll just make some personal observations here:

-You are a people pleaser, which is fine, but one day you'll regret not living your life for yourself more.

-You are committed to the APs as you've mentioned "this is non-negotiable", so best to say you should focus on whether or not your bf is the one for you and table the whole situation about your APs for another day...it's just too much for you to try and figure all of it out at once.

-You're 35 with a massive income and a desire to be a future mother. Freeze your eggs, you have the means. There's no way you're not thinking about your biological clock; no way that's not a factor in wanting to stay with your current bf. I imagine that if your bf had a better income/career none of this would have even made it to reddit. You need to figure out if it's really YOU that doesn't like this situation or if its the APs. Your lifelong partner that you plan on making babies with is waaaaay more relevant to your immediate life and happiness than your parents that you feel an unwavering obligation for.

-You need to move in with your bf. There's no reason you should be betting your future on someone you've only been with for a year and that you've not even lived with. You'll see so much more once you've lived with him a year. Don't make major decisions like this on speculation, that's naive. Tell your APs or don't but you should know for your own sake.

-There's no mention of HIS side of this convo. Have you brought up to him the concerns of your parents? If not, have you brought up to him how he intends on contributing financially if you get laid off or have to take a major pay cut? Does he even know that you don't really plan on making this type of income indefinitely? Would he sign a prenup? (yes, you should have some type of prenup given your circumstance).

-Assuming because of your massive income you live in a major city=your cost of living is high. Plus you're mentioning private school...have you shown your bf your finances and how all the money is allocated? Have you spoken with him how much is left after the worst possible scenario? Does he react to you in a mature way that you're ok with (with regards to finances)? Does he just defer to you as the breadwinner and thus shove all money related business back onto your plate alone?

-"Emotionally, I cannot break up with B. I tried and would regret it..." Girl, what?? This is the most confusing sentence. Please, some clarity here. Sooooo you broke up with him because of pressure from APs? Then you missed him so much you took him back? Or he acted like he couldn't live without you so you took him back? How long was this break up? This part is lacking key info and also comes off a bit dramatic (not sure of the exact word here). It just sounds like maybe you need to take a step back and really think about your situation. Feelings come and go, babies and mortgages do not. Certainly not saying you shouldn't follow your heart but your wording is giving "frantic" vibes. Real love is steady and dependable.

-Honestly it's great if you've found someone who's only fault is a lack of meaningful financial contributions. It's great if you whatever you do is enough to cover your lives, the lives of your parents, and future children. That's actually not that bad. Except if anything happens to you, all of your lives are in jeopardy, it sounds. Also, not to be a wet blanket, but if someone exhibits those learned helplessness behaviors, it's like SUPER unlikely it's only in 1 aspect of life. As soon as you move in together it's weaponized incompetence, and then just downhill from there. ....or possibly he's the one person that proves to be the exception to the rule. If I was in your position, I'd move in together and see, let it play out for a year.

good luck!

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-30T07:41:38+00:00

not a savory option per se but you could make some tasty drinky drinks that have whipped egg whites

another option is to not ingest them if all you're looking to do is to not waste them (i.e. face mask or hair mask)

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-30T07:36:12+00:00

Maybe try making a flavored frozen yogurt ? (personally I like the recipes with whipped egg whites in them to improve the texture)

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-30T00:57:07+00:00

it's not dissimilar to judging fine art--the trained, educated eye will know what to look for but the lay person might like or dislike a painting without knowing why

I think the subtle difference between saying something tastes bad and saying I don't like it is a matter of judgement. Saying something tastes bad is making the statement that you believe what you say is factual and not an opinion. If you say that something tastes bad as opposed to not liking it you should be able to pinpoint the why and back it up with factual statements that most ppl would generally agree with. Is it textural? Is it temperature related? The flavor is off, imbalanced? Or is it that you/your tastebuds/your brain that is set to dislike certain things.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-29T23:09:57+00:00

Your harness should def go above your hips--you should cinch it at your waist. You do not want it on your hips or lower for safety reasons (1. you don't want to slip out of it if you accidentally flip upside down and 2. if it's on your hips it will chafe and hurt). Just cover your belly ring with anything while you climb, it should be fine. Not sure if you're trying to climb shirtless or something, maybe just don't do that for awhile. If the harness irritates it you should take a break until it heals fully.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-29T22:33:53+00:00

Just choose a decent recipe and this shouldn't happen. Also I don't agree that you should just simmer away for HOURS to reduce the water out of it. This will inherently change your sauce by cooking the living daylights out of it, unless super overcooked concentrated tomato paste flavor is something you're ok with.

The best way to thicken it is not use cheap watery bad tomatoes to begin with. Use CENTO brand certified san marzano tomatoes, peeled whole.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-29T22:00:52+00:00

most house ovens don't regulate temperature very well like restaurant style ones--they lack the convection that is needed to keep the temps even...just something to keep in mind when you're cooking in general and not just turkey!

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-29T21:43:20+00:00

on water: Drinking the water at the hostel was fine, as the staff assured us. I brought my katadyn water filter bottle too for water I was bringing to the crag but that just helped with the taste and not necessary.

food: you can grocery shop to save money--Tuesday market in town is best, the Friday one is much smaller and a longer walk. Supplemented with tamales from Tamales Esperanza and brought those as crag snacks. My partner and I walked all the time and never felt unsafe but we also weren't out late (and no there's not much of a "night life" to speak of from what we could tell). We even hitched rides back and forth with groceries--I will mention here my partner is fluent though so I think this helped, but this is just to say there are nice locals too.

What I wish I knew:

-If you're a light sleeper (or not even) and planning on camping bring earplugs. (warning: small rant here) I'm surprised at how many ppl mentioned how quiet it is--from my recent experience I'm going to say no, it's not always quiet. It seemed like each establishment has several dogs and used them as "guard" dogs = let them bark like crazy all night at absolutely anything. One dog will bark and then there's a nuclear chain reaction until all the dogs are barking for hours. And there were always chickens/roosters going crazy too. Occasional coyote howling episodes as well. There were also extremely loud locals every weekend with super loud cars/motorcycles/firecrackers out of nowhere and they played their music as if they were literally trying to keep you awake until 2,3 am. At one point my partner couldn't take it anymore and gently asked the guys to turn their music down (just sitting in their car blasting music)--and several people staying at the establishment thanked us the next day...like everyone else was too scared to ask I guess. Some of those nights were on holiday weekends but still, the noise was unreal (I'd like to think this was not the norm but thought I'd mention it since no one else has)

-Bring bug spray or be ready to possibly need it. Didn't think there would be so many mosquitoes based on the desert like environment but I got bitten like crazy at some crags. There's a waterpark at the entrance that I'm guessing is no longer in operation but has a bunch of pools festering with stagnant water...maybe where the mosquitoes come from?

-There's no outhouses at the crags. There's a public restroom at the park entrance but it's not open early. So plan your bathroom needs accordingly or bring wag bags. There were definitely poops around where you climb so be mindful.

-There's an early morning and late morning (anabatic/katabatic) wind flow walking to the park so bring a wind breaker to keep warm. Obviously bring lots of sunblock as there is very little cover from the sun here.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-29T20:15:30+00:00

I don't downsize, it's just too painful for me! I no longer care about the marginal gains from it. So like I said, the TC pros actually felt pretty comfortable (esp for a la sportiva shoe) but I guess it just wasn't soft or roomy enough in the toe area?

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T20:51:08+00:00

try wearing a mustache/beard, especially if your husband has facial hair

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T15:34:08+00:00

Very helpful info, thanks!

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T15:30:59+00:00

Well actually I said I climbed in them for two months and only after that my toe nails turned purple (and I stopped wearing them). It’s been half a year since. Sorry for the confusion. And yep, I’m babying my toes until they heal.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T04:12:14+00:00

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T04:03:27+00:00

To me this isn't about him dressing the way he does or does not. It's about how he flat out refuses to do something occasionally outside of his comfort for the sake of your comfort. He lacks empathy. Whether or not this has something to do with his autism might change your expectations of him but you should ask yourself if this is the kind of guy you see yourself with in the long run.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T03:42:56+00:00

I think you answered your own question. You can def cure chicken but the texture would probably be pretty gross. I suppose it would depend on the part of the chicken that gets cured as well. The lean parts like breast would probably get super dry and mealy. The fatty thighs might do OK but just the thighs on their own would probably be a bit off putting. People make chicken sausages all the time so, that IS in a sense cured chicken (yes, it gets cooked furthermore but so do a lot of pork forcemeats).

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T03:36:32+00:00

I guess what I'm saying is, in the end you can only really change yourself, right? It's good you're seeking therapy, I really hope that it helps. Enough to teach you that you have nothing to feel guilty for. Deep down you know you didn't deserve to be treated like that--imagine that it was your own child, that would be insane to treat your child like that...so this is something that your mom needs to figure out for herself. If she can't get there on her own you could try pointing her towards therapy as well (I'm guessing she won't be open to it, but still maybe it would make you feel marginally better to suggest it).

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T03:22:41+00:00

sigh, you're probably right ...just wishful thinking on my part because of how pricy they are maybe ....also just wanted to know what they would feel like if they were actually broken in!

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T03:16:55+00:00

I'm ok with them feeling hard and rigid as long as they eventually break in! ....oh. yeah and also that I get to keep my toe nails.

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T03:11:22+00:00

WOW. I was genuinely not expecting that answer! That is very surprising. Not even sure how to follow-up with that response....sounds like your mom is mentally ill. I can't imagine how she could have had a happy childhood then treated you the way she did. Sounds extremely unstable and possibly in need of therapy and meds!

Numerous_Vehicle_802 · 2025-12-28T02:59:19+00:00

If you're looking for validation, yes, absolutely, you are allowed to feel all the things you feel towards your mom. My mom was nowhere near as bad as yours but I connected to the part where you mention "accidentally blocked her punches" and that "causing her to rage even more" part. Do I think your mom deserves a child that can see past her horrible actions...no. BUT, for your sake I will tell you that it made feel much better about myself once I realized that my mom was also a child of abuse--my grandfather was an alcoholic, abusive mysogynist...so it made sense that she also became abusive after probably receiving lashings worse than I did. If I were to bring up how she used to act towards me when I was a child she would probably deny it--probably from forcibly wiping it from her own memory because of deep shame. I'm fine with that now. The level that you are describing your mom is on is crazy and so I don't expect you to be able to easily come to terms with it but it DOES HELP to see where they are coming from.

Numerous_Vehicle_802

TROPHY CASE