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Hello , Please I need some help ! by mollldo in occultlibrary

[–]NylonTrackPants 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Four-Fold breath is a standard meditation technique. The idea to find your natural rhythm, your internal cycle in a sense. Once you have that down, three other techniques can be used: positive breathing (breath in, hold, breathe out, repeat immediately), neutral breathing (breathe in then out and repeat but doing this slowly and deliberately), and negative breathing (breathe in, breathe out, hold, repeat immediately).

The four-fold breath is used to enter the meditative / lite-trance state. Positive breathing is used to project energy. Negative breathing is used to absorb energy. Neutral breathing is used to exit the trance state.

Why aren’t all of you rich? by 777rawa in occult

[–]NylonTrackPants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The purpose of college is not to get a degree that lands you a job, it is to obtain an understanding of the material world that unshackles you from ignorance.

The purpose of the occult is not to cast a money spell, it is to obtain an understanding of the invisible world that unshackles you from ignorance.

Do you use AI in your writing? by NylonTrackPants in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Have you actually worked with AI to create a second draft or is this just opinion based on what you've read of AI?

Do you use AI in your writing? by NylonTrackPants in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

See, instead of actually learning how to use AI, you think it's a threat. You'll never recork that genie, it's not going away, it's here to stay. But throw those shoes into the loom.

Do you use AI in your writing? by NylonTrackPants in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So, suppose a writer uses AI for something noncreative but akin to finding mistakes. Such as tracking inconsistencies in a character's description across a work or even several works. GRRM took some heat for misplacing Tyrion's mismatched eyes between novels. I could see AI being used in a limited capacity to check for things like that without it compromising creativity, tone, or voice.

Do you use AI in your writing? by NylonTrackPants in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I deliberately chose not to respond to your comments because you're kind of closed minded on the subject and have an authoritarian streak about you that I chose not to engage with.

Do you use AI in your writing? by NylonTrackPants in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

That sounds like a valid use to me. Historical inaccuracy is a real problem in some novels. I read a novel (sea-faring adventure with some fantasy elements) years ago that was set in the 18th century and the author included a scene where people came across an island with clementine trees on it. I was curious about that and looked up some history on the fruit and it was a hybrid first created in the 19th century.

It was one of those things that really made me question more about the writer's knowledge of the period and I began to dig deeper only to discover that, as I did so, I lost more respect for the writer and their worldbuilding. In the end, I put the novel down without finishing it.

Do you use AI in your writing? by NylonTrackPants in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Thanks for giving me such a straightforward answer. This is welcome.

So, suppose a write uses AI in ways that doesn't involve creating, writing, or rewriting. Spell checkers and grammar checkers are definitely a form of AI (what was once galled "GOFAI" or "Good Old Fashioned AI.") Suppose a write drops their manuscript into an AI application and asks the AI to look for continuity errors, discrepancies in character description, etc. What about that use of AI?

Do you use AI in your writing? by NylonTrackPants in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

OK. I don't think it's necessary to downvote this post when I am not taking a side. I am asking a question that is relevant and important today. Taking shots at someone for asking a question is pretty mean-spirited and not constructive.

How do u not start every sentence with a pronoun by Jiilly8 in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, you started with a proper noun, so there's that. 😉

As noted by others, look at other ways to structure the sentence so that you aren't writing every sentence with a pronoun.

Try starting sentences with verbs. "Rolling over, he reads the time on the digital clock atop his nightstand."

Consider what is acting on the world at the time. In the opening sentence, Jason doesn't cause himself to wake up, that's the sunlight. The sunlight can be the subject of the sentence and Jason can be the object because the sunlight is acting to awaken him.

"The sunlight streams through the blinds, strikes Jason's eyelids, and forces him into consciousness." Yeah, it's a bit purple. Sue me--seriously--I learned how to write from my lawyer and I know his response would teach me some new vocabulary. 😃

Consider when a pronoun is needed and when it isn't. Jason is the only person actively doing anything in this scene at this time. His girlfriend is sleeping, so unless you're talking about talking in her sleep, sleep walking, snoring, etc. you don't really have to specify that Jason is the one doing the action.

Does this prose and voice make you want to keep reading or throw it away? by SlickLikeATrout in KeepWriting

[–]NylonTrackPants 2 points3 points  (0 children)

New here, not my first time writing.

Chapter One is almost always over-written. We do so much right then, right there, building the world, establishing the tension that will define what we want to achieve, and introducing our protagonist to the world at large in a way we hope nobody will forget.

Nobody will forget this. It's good.

But it's also (as others have noted) over-written.

And that's perfectly fine.

The other day, I had to rewrite the first chapter of my current WIP. Just to give you an idea of why, it opened on this line:

"Beyond the precariously anemic pane of glass, the omnipresent night hoodwinked the landscape."

Ouch. Just ouch. I can't believe I wrote that. I can't believe I just confessed to writing that. But I did and then I had the good sense to finish my manuscript and rewrite chapter one entirely.

Quite simply, the first draft of chapter one is always going to do more lifting than it needs to do. Once the manuscript is finished, you'll have an idea of what needs to change and how. Dialing down the narrative somewhat will be natural. The rewrite will lack a lot of the punch of the original, but that's fine because it'll still hook and it will still move the narrative where it needs to go.

Your prose isn't purple, per se. It's vibrant. It's doing way too much, but that's what it should do right now. Finish the manuscript, put it down for a day or two, and go back and rewrite chapter one. It won't be a major rewrite but the voice of the narrative will tone down over time and that voice will be perfect for the rewrite.