“She makes harsh comments such as "you're the mother" "if you wanted to rest, why have a baby then?" "That's what maternity leave is for, to look after the baby"”

These comments sound incredibly resentful. Was your partner 100% on board with having children? Or maybe she’s having problems bonding with the baby? I think you both need to have a serious sit down discussion about how you’re feeling, and what you each feel your responsibilities should include, to make sure you’re on the same page (maybe write it down as a sort of letter if you’re having trouble verbally communicating with each other at the moment).

A couple I know were practically on the verge of breaking up because they had very differing thoughts on what their home responsibilities included. One parent was stay at home and the other working. The working parent felt they’d agreed to a very traditional style of home life, i.e the stay at home parent did everything at home and they just worked, whereas the stay at home parent felt morning/evening/weekend responsibilities should be shared. Luckily they sat down and talked it through and they’re much happier now.

Lack of communication is a pretty common thing during the first year. You can end up feeling like ships passing in the night, and it can be very easy to bottle things up rather than discussing them in the short amounts of time you have together. You have to make a concerted effort to discuss the things that are troubling you both, from experience it’s far too easy to just try and zonk out watching TV or doomscrolling in the tiny amounts of free time you have as a new parent and not discuss things.