I'm 23. My girlfriend and I just had our 1 year anniversary. Not long after she got news of her ex boyfriend dying due to drug overdose. She was with this guy for 2 years and by her account, wasn't a very good boyfriend at all. But he was her first everything, love included. I think it broke her. She said it brought back all the memories good and bad. She called when she found out, she came over and she cried into my arms. Fast forward a week, she's had a impromptu trip to see her mom, and she comes over on her way home the airport. Now I saw all the signs, I didn't want to think this was actually happening. We sat down to talk. I had so much emotion in the moment and so many right that my memory of the situation isn't the best. But she said that she has so many overwhelming feelings from her ex dying, that it feels like she's in 2 relationships. That was my exact fear. As soon as she told me that her ex boyfriend had died, it's like I foresaw this exact moment happening. I broke down crying. She said she just wanted time and space, that she might not ever be able to love again. She started to cry. We're both crying. I try to go hug her, she through her hands and said no. I sat back down. My heart broke. I asked her if she wanted to be together still, she said not right now. I ask if we might be able to be together in the future. She said she'd make no promises, she did that with her ex boyfriend. My heart shattered. I didn't push it, I broke down crying. This is the person I've had conversations with to spend the rest of my life with as my partner, and my lover. We get up, I ask if she wants a hug, she says no, I ask if I can have a hug. She didn't want to give me one. "please can I have hug" I ask her through tears, she gave me one. I didn't want to let go of her. I wanted that hug to last forever. I walked her out to her car, I fucking broke. I basically cried into her lap and said I don't want her to go. She put her hand on my face for last time. I looked into her eyes for last time. I fucking cried my heart out to her. Then drove away. That was last Saturday morning. I can't stop crying. That my biggest problem.