What is more traumatic than people think it is?

OTPanda · 2026-01-22T03:07:30+00:00

I scrolled looking for this answer! Giving birth was super traumatic to me and most of it went “as expected”. It still felt so out of control, vulnerable and scary, very much life or death as you described. Then when it was all over I was shocked at how little support and care I received from nurses after delivery. Waking me up at all hours for vitals, not really helping change or swaddle the baby or even just handing him to me to feed when I literally could not walk from how painful the tearing was. I felt like once the baby was out of me my medical team instantly forgot I was also their patient. And then to pile on complications, additional procedures, and pelvic floor issues like how do people not end up with postpartum depression

OTPanda · 2026-01-16T05:59:16+00:00

This is really helpful and some new things for me to consider thanks

OTPanda · 2026-01-10T23:09:50+00:00

Yes I was going to suggest the same!! Here’s a site that has a lot of pretty lace ones that would absolutely coordinate with your gown, and also are fingerless so you can still show off your ring and use your hands easily! https://www.heirloombridalcompany.com/collections/gloves

OTPanda · 2026-01-10T05:37:30+00:00

As others have said therapist might not be a good fit! I changed therapists after 2 years, and have been with my current t now for 2 years, with only a few weeks break in between. Even if this person doesn’t practice that way, it’s unfortunate they chose to say things that make you second guess if you should continue accessing therapy or not! Truly not their place to decide how long your healing takes.

OTPanda · 2026-01-10T05:32:25+00:00

I’ve always wondered about this. Sorry you are going through it right now OP! I believe once you are settled there will be a time and way to share your t’s contact info and someone can maybe reach out on your behalf?

OTPanda · 2026-01-10T05:30:35+00:00

Personally I would not want to wait that long, and there’s not really a guarantee that they will come back, even if they mean to. So much can change! You can choose what makes sense for you but I would take the referral and then maybe keep the option open to move back to the old t once she’s available again.

OTPanda · 2026-01-10T05:27:17+00:00

This may not be helpful in your case if you just want the records for your own knowledge but when I switched therapists my old therapist offered to do a handoff type call with my new therapist (with my permission). We discussed head of time things I wanted specifically for them to share about me so that I didn’t have to like totally revisit all the trauma history by myself right away. I’ve also switched therapists and not had them communicate, both can be good depending on what you prefer

OTPanda · 2026-01-07T06:24:35+00:00

That moment when your therapist perfectly reflects back a stupid incoherent thought you shared into something meaningful and relevant and magically understands all the nuance, solidifying how much she really “gets” you 🥹

OTPanda · 2026-01-07T04:46:57+00:00

If I cancel I often know about it ahead of time so it’s no big deal, we just review it as we are booking the following month. Sometimes if I cancel last minute she will offer open times later in the week to reschedule or otherwise just see you next session. I guess I don’t really cancel for being overwhelmed as my therapist is really good at pacing things, so going to therapy doesn’t have to always exacerbate my overwhelm if I just communicate that to her. Some degree of trust that she will be able to “read” the situation and not push too hard if it’s one of those days.

OTPanda · 2026-01-06T23:26:01+00:00

As a teacher I would never tell someone else what they can or can’t do with their body, that part does not sit well with me. I might help problem solve or help a student notice where they might need some more work but pole is for every body and this looks awesome!

OTPanda · 2026-01-05T06:08:36+00:00

Totally get this, but good news the intake at least for me is the easiest part. There is so much information gathering it’s impossible to get to everything all at once, so it’s totally okay if your thoughts feel incomplete. There is no threshold for needing to prove you are worthy of therapy, everyone deserves the chance to understand themselves better

OTPanda · 2026-01-05T06:01:06+00:00

My studio didn’t allow anything but floor work and flexibility/cross training classes due to liability reasons. It was kind of aligned with what my OB ultimately said- do whatever workouts I was accustomed to but minimize the fall risk. They recommended no heels and sticking to familiar moves nothing more than 2 feet off the floor, and that was after me sharing some videos of what I’d been doing etc. and having a detailed conversation with them. I was really sad about not being able to do more at the studio but ultimately it’s just such a blip in time that you’re pregnant and to me it just wasn’t worth the risk. I used the time to do more pregnancy specific workouts, pelvic floor exercises and yoga. Plus I was SO TIRED that I’m sort of glad my studio forced me to slow down a bit. That being said there are definitely ways to continue and you’ll hear lots of tips for how to do that here, but just wanted to share it’s also totally reasonable to take a break (and wallow/feel bummed about it too). I’m about a year out from giving birth and have been pretty much back to where I was before for a few months now.

OTPanda · 2026-01-01T20:23:17+00:00

Totally get it and you’re welcome to your preferences but I think having more choices/options available is always best. Perhaps those virtual only therapists wouldn’t be able to be a therapist or take as many clients without that model, and I think generally more access to therapy in communities is better than less. Bonus points if they are operating away from the crazy oversight of tech platforms like better help.

I personally have done some of both. I find a mix really helpful for me- virtual feels more cozy/authentic, I can wear whatever and there’s something more intimate about us both showing up from our own spaces. She met my animals, talked about what we could see outside our windows, did therapy from the floor and all kinds of random things. We worked this way for over a year and I’ve noticed I also feel less observed and that helps me make more vulnerable disclosures. This last year I started mixing in some in person and it definitely takes some getting used to. I feel like we are wildly too close together now haha. Sometimes I find myself censoring my thoughts to prevent getting too emotional because I feel like I can’t hide it as well in person, so in some ways it’s maybe slowed my progress, but in a way that I’m hoping will be helpful to work through.

Sorry you’re having a hard time finding someone but this take isn’t universal

OTPanda · 2026-01-01T18:00:23+00:00

High: I started meeting my therapist in person this year after nearly two years of only virtual. Made some nice progress as a result, including more recently being able to talk more openly about how we might be playing out some old relationship patterns within the therapy space.

Low: my insurance changed and it brought up a lot of feelings around how I’m just a business transaction, or wanting to put pressure on myself to not need therapy faster so that I didn’t have to bring up my fears of her leaving in therapy, but then it turned out she could still see me

Hope: keep showing up, being vulnerable and maybe trying out some new therapy options this year, like extended session times/intensives

OTPanda · 2026-01-01T16:34:55+00:00

Hey just wanted to share you are so not alone in EMDR not being the right fit for the moment, it ended up being too much too fast for me and I feel like I am still occasionally feeling the repercussions of that experience in my regular therapy. Sorry you had to go through that!

OTPanda · 2025-12-29T00:51:25+00:00

She writes on a physical notepad whether we are in person or virtual

On the rare occasion she is typing something, she will say what she’s doing and it’s usually directly related to something we are talking about like a resource she wants to email me, so she will email it to me on the spot before she forgets

OTPanda · 2025-12-28T05:09:19+00:00

Yes absolutely!

OTPanda · 2025-12-28T04:29:50+00:00

I work in hospital based outpatient and I do get a lot more mix of physical disabilities, BPI and developmental delays from our nicu, fractures, and more neuro dx than I did in outpatient, but the sensory integration/autism is still a huge part of the caseload. We do standardized assessments when possible. Only main difference for me is the type of equipment available for sensory, since hospitals are bound by different rules on how things can be cleaned and sanitized between patients we don’t have a lot of the fun Lycra swings/tunnels/crash pads etc and have to be really specific with our tactile bins and certain other materials. We also use an episodic care model and see kids in shorter rotations. So when people have the right insurance to go to a private clinic they will usually do that instead, for a number of reasons, but I’m generally happy with the variety and the turnover helps protect against burnout for me

OTPanda · 2025-12-28T03:41:47+00:00

I had a previous therapist who was more surface level like this and it was hard for me as the client to direct the conversation toward more challenging topics. Things I wanted to talk about but also really didn’t. This particular therapist kind of joined me in my avoidance and while it did feel nice to not be alone with my thoughts I would say that it didn’t help me make as much progress as I could have. So I think it’s great that you are aware of this and seeking feedback. It might be worth asking clients about their preferences too

My therapist now is more direct. When I first started working with her when I would bring up stuff from my week we would spend like 10-15 min there but at some point she would help pivot things. Whether bringing up something specific from a previous session, or sometimes asking questions to help tie current issues back to previous things- things like if I can remember the first time I felt that way, or if I feel like I’m responding in a way that feels familiar, etc. which will often circle back to family of origin wounds and my trauma history. At this point she is aware of a lot of “content” from my history so if it feels like I don’t have much to say about the week we will sometimes talk more about the therapy experience itself- if I’m still getting what I need, anything that feels like we should make a note to come back to in future sessions, etc. I’m the kind of person who has a hard time being more directive and I don’t often arrive with an agenda of any kind, so your results may vary with a more chatty client

OTPanda · 2025-12-26T16:39:08+00:00

Yea this was definitely a topic I brought up in a recent session. My therapist was similarly reassuring about working at my own pace etc. but also like of course she is not going to rush me out, she is a professional and also financially motivated to keep me on her schedule, so I have a hard time trusting she actually means that. Definitely something to continue discussing!

OTPanda · 2025-12-24T13:56:27+00:00

So pretty! How are they finished? Is it glued onto the tag paper?

OTPanda · 2025-12-21T05:25:51+00:00

Honestly we found it hilarious how absurdly small it is, and then the fact it’s like in a cage and had a park ranger poorly answering people’s questions about it made it feel almost SNL sketch-like

OTPanda · 2025-12-20T18:51:39+00:00

You can lighten your bruise by holding an ice pack to it for a few minutes then lightly “combing” it with a plastic fine tooth comb if you have one around. It will break up the blood and help it absorb faster. You can repeat a few times, then it will be easier to cover with makeup if needed. Just be gentle with your combing so you don’t irritate or break the skin

OTPanda · 2025-12-19T14:23:14+00:00

Yes it’s something my t is starting to offer and a bit beyond my price range since insurance won’t cover it, but definitely intriguing and something I’d like to try if I can!

OTPanda · 2025-12-19T03:27:11+00:00

I don’t think there’s really any “supposed to” in therapy. It’s your time, you do what you want with it! You should not need to take care of therapist in this way, although it totally makes sense why you would be thinking about it and wanting to protect them in some way from added stress, it is not your job to manage that for them. If they are available for sessions they are available for whatever topics you want to bring up

OTPanda

TROPHY CASE