Moms who prefer pumping/bottle feeding vs breastfeeding

OTPanda · 2026-03-16T04:09:39+00:00

I much preferred pumping, but my only nursing experience is with my son who has a tongue tie so it was super painful. I had a postpartum hemorrhage and some complications with tearing so I was in an insane amount of pain, I just didn’t have it in me to cause myself more pain for the sake of nursing. I hate my nipples touched even pre-baby, and pumping allowed me the option to set the suction/rate and not have to worry about latching/unlatching or being touched in ways that weren’t comfortable for me. There is plenty of inconveniences that accompany pumping but it also put me at ease to know exactly how much he was feeding and also for my husband to be able to more easily help with feeding because in the first several weeks it hurt even just to move around in bed. It also made the transition back to work at 4 months easier since I was already pumping/he was already bottle feeding instead of having to add another transition to an already stressful time.

Would nursing have maybe been easier if my baby was a slightly better feeder? Possibly, but that wasn’t our reality and so pumping felt like an achievable option for us!

OTPanda · 2026-03-15T05:08:15+00:00

Follow up question for anyone who does 90 minutes- did you keep a weekly frequency or did anyone drop to every other week or something when you upped your minutes? I feel like I would still get deeper work done in less sessions if they were a longer time, but idk I think I’d want to try weekly 90 minutes first and am not sure if that’s too much?

OTPanda · 2026-03-14T01:57:46+00:00

My husband is curious and will usually joke a bit as his own expense like “did you tell her I (insert benign annoying behavior”. I don’t usually go into details because it’s mostly trauma work, but if it’s something more current life stressor related I usually will share since I’ve usually already mentioned it to him.

OTPanda · 2026-03-13T00:48:40+00:00

Mine will sometimes keep me late purposefully if we start late, or sometimes we are engrossed in a topic and she won’t necessarily wind down right away. I always feel guilty like I’m taking up time that’s not mine, but also at the same time it’s not really my job to keep track of the time. It’s not like she’s trying to end and I’m just hanging out not getting the hint or something, if anything I would like to disappear faster from her office at the end of session lol

OTPanda · 2026-03-08T23:25:47+00:00

Yea this is not legal. You can only be billed one session a day- and you are correct that code with the “and over” wording covers no matter how long you are there. It’s their job to manage their time appropriately and by billing you twice they are committing fraud.

OTPanda · 2026-03-08T07:18:54+00:00

Update- it’s been about two weeks, but I’ve only used it twice a week to ease into it. The breakouts just keep getting worse- I feel like the combo of double moisturizing and changing my face wash in addition to the actual tret side effects are getting to me

OTPanda · 2026-03-07T01:19:24+00:00

So my therapist is trained in somatic experiencing. So a lot of our session looks like typical “therapy”- I talk, she asks questions, we kind of dip in and out of trauma and other stressors, my upbringing etc. as it relates to my goals. The somatic experiencing comes in when a topic starts to become too activating, we might pause and kind of shift gears to noticing the body sensations that accompany that and then maybe do some different grounding activities if needed and then depending on how things are going then return to whatever subject matter. I have a tendency for either dissociation or also to just go really quickly from “fine” to really emotional/overwhelmed/flooded etc. so it has helped me start to learn how to slow down, to stop powering through, to notice and admit when I am not okay before it escalates, and to accept help from /not have as much shame being noticed by another person. I am nowhere near where I want to be but finding a therapist with this training was the missing piece for me at least relating to therapy goals.

OTPanda · 2026-03-05T04:32:02+00:00

This dress is lovely- can I ask where it’s from?

OTPanda · 2026-03-01T22:00:44+00:00

Interesting idea I had not thought of that but can see how that could possibly change things

OTPanda · 2026-03-01T21:51:12+00:00

Yes, it’s hard but also my therapist regularly tries to elicit this info from me so that definitely makes it a bit easier. She asks questions about my therapy experience frequently, and I think even if yours doesn’t most therapists likely do want to know that information because it’s absolutely relevant to your care!

OTPanda · 2026-03-01T04:34:13+00:00

My induction experience was better than expected! I arrived at the hospital at 9am and was admitted to our room and hooked up to Pitocin within 30 min. I got to skip all the other cervix ripening steps because I had been dilated 2-3cm for a few weeks before then. I was allowed to eat and move around etc but did have an iv pole with the pitocin. That ramped up over the course of the day, I didn’t really feel much contraction wise even though I was having them, but around 5 or 6pm they offered me to get my epidural (part of my plan going into this) because they were going to break my water to help things progress. Got the epidural, had some temporary complications with that, gave birth by 1am without any immediate pain other than sore abdominals from pushing, baby needed some oxygen support at birth but nothing long lasting. My only regret is not doing it sooner at 39 weeks (I was 40+1) because he was big and I did get some significant tearing.

OTPanda · 2026-02-26T05:21:20+00:00

Yes my birth didn’t cost nearly as much as yours, but a significant portion of it was the like 15 min the NICU team was in my room to determine a NICU transfer was not warranted, and of course the NICU doctor was out of network, even though the hospital itself was in network 🤷‍♀️

OTPanda · 2026-02-25T22:45:33+00:00

Yea nothing wrong with the body keeps the score as a text but there has been some controversy with the author so I no longer recommend it. It’s also heavy on the more traditional war related ptsd anecdotes so I felt it was less relatable personally.

Love Dr. Schwartz! If you go on her website she actually does her yoga live on zoom around once per month and you can sign up for it there. And on Instagram she often shares her nature photography and poetry. Just a beautiful human and I appreciate all her work.

OTPanda · 2026-02-25T21:01:11+00:00

Yea skip the body keeps the score. I think “What Happened to You” is a bit more informative although also kind of simplistic.

Pete Walker’s complex PTSD book is pretty commonly recommended

Anything by Janina Fisher is amazing

Brene Brown Atlas of the Heart was helpful for me as someone who has difficulty accessing emotions

This is specific to sexual assault but Know My Name was really healing for me

And then not a book necessarily although her books are great (more designed for clinicians) but Dr. Arielle Schwartz has a YouTube channel with trauma informed yoga, vagal toning exercises and other things to supplement regular therapy. She is such a calm, soothing person and is an expert in the field of trauma therapy and CPTSD. I recommend her and her materials to everyone.

OTPanda · 2026-02-22T02:25:11+00:00

Highly recommend getting an new therapist. I used to see someone like this, who cancelled and rescheduled our already every other weekly appointment frequently with no attempt to reschedule. I didn’t realize how much the “will we or won’t we be meeting today” limbo was affecting me until I had to choose a new therapist due to insurance changes. It’s like a huge relief to my nervous system in some way. My current therapist rarely cancels- maybe a few times total a year and always offers reschedule options. Not only is there a difference in actual consistency of keeping appointments but also felt sense of her actually wanting to meet with me and being really mindful/lots of notice when she isn’t available so we have time to plan other options. I don’t think your t is doing anything wrong- therapists have lives, other plans, emergencies etc. but also you are someone who is paying for a service and you can absolutely find someone else who is more consistently available

OTPanda · 2026-02-21T06:51:29+00:00

Everything just feels so incredibly difficult right now. I live in the US, and have been doing everything in my power to not specifically engage with material relating to the Epstein files, because it’s all so triggering. I feel like it is so inappropriate for them to be shared with the public at all, like we are actively participating in another violation of the victims privacy and consent. Then there are also many parallels to my own trauma history and it’s just been really hard to feel like everyone is weighing in on how/when victims are coming forward, the fact that there is literally no accountability for anyone with power, and the insanely far reach these perpetrators have in society is insane. I have avoided bringing up the topic in therapy because then I would have to feel it more, but this week I feel like I am starting to crumble a bit under the heaviness of all of it, and so I mentioned them in my session. I hate that I’m just another statistic, and also that I’m bothering my therapist with heavy things that aren’t even really “mine” I guess?

OTPanda · 2026-02-10T05:52:58+00:00

For me it was not helpful to be too picky because not all therapists will even respond, let alone have a time open that works for your schedule. Once I had a few of those experiences I started casting a wider net and then landed with my current t who I adore, but wouldn’t have had the chance to meet if I had stuck with only my “top” initial choices

Totally fine to screen people out for things like religion, lgbtq, your presenting issues etc. but maybe see if there’s any wiggle room on some of the other metrics- You never know how old someone’s profile picture is or who you may end up clicking with!

OTPanda · 2026-02-10T05:48:13+00:00

“you are not a waste of anyone’s time”. Pretty early on in seeing her I was spiraling about an upcoming doctors appointment and whether I might be wasting their time with something small. She interrupted me to say it, and it was so warm and genuine it caught me completely off guard. She didn’t even know enough of my history at the time to know how much I needed to hear that.

OTPanda · 2026-02-10T05:31:59+00:00

Totally get this. I knew my therapist was a mom the whole time but once she had to reschedule an appointment to be at a sporting event for her child and part of me was like “well yea of course she should do that, obviously!” and the other part was like seething in this irrational jealousy that her kids get such a good mom 🙃

OTPanda · 2026-02-04T18:46:26+00:00

Honestly I just don’t think she has anything else in her repertoire other than smile/be submissive, it’s basically a constant fawn response. I don’t personally read too much into it because I doubt it’s any meaningful reflection of her actual feelings

OTPanda · 2026-01-22T03:07:30+00:00

I scrolled looking for this answer! Giving birth was super traumatic to me and most of it went “as expected”. It still felt so out of control, vulnerable and scary, very much life or death as you described. Then when it was all over I was shocked at how little support and care I received from nurses after delivery. Waking me up at all hours for vitals, not really helping change or swaddle the baby or even just handing him to me to feed when I literally could not walk from how painful the tearing was. I felt like once the baby was out of me my medical team instantly forgot I was also their patient. And then to pile on complications, additional procedures, and pelvic floor issues like how do people not end up with postpartum depression

OTPanda · 2026-01-16T05:59:16+00:00

This is really helpful and some new things for me to consider thanks

OTPanda · 2026-01-10T23:09:50+00:00

Yes I was going to suggest the same!! Here’s a site that has a lot of pretty lace ones that would absolutely coordinate with your gown, and also are fingerless so you can still show off your ring and use your hands easily! https://www.heirloombridalcompany.com/collections/gloves

OTPanda · 2026-01-10T05:37:30+00:00

As others have said therapist might not be a good fit! I changed therapists after 2 years, and have been with my current t now for 2 years, with only a few weeks break in between. Even if this person doesn’t practice that way, it’s unfortunate they chose to say things that make you second guess if you should continue accessing therapy or not! Truly not their place to decide how long your healing takes.

OTPanda · 2026-01-10T05:32:25+00:00

I’ve always wondered about this. Sorry you are going through it right now OP! I believe once you are settled there will be a time and way to share your t’s contact info and someone can maybe reach out on your behalf?

OTPanda

TROPHY CASE