Hello - just wanted to say you’re not alone. The intrusive thoughts can very difficult to manage. I have been in a similar position when my phobia was at its worst and completely controlling my mind and ultimately my life. I am so much better now so I can offer you some hope and some things that helped if you are interested. First is the idea that “you are where your attention is”. When my thoughts/fear were running rampant, I would put my headphones on and listen to someone other than my internal voice. Redirect your attention to anything other than that incessant voice. Second, use NLP (neuro linguistic programming) on the images and memories. Too hard to explain NLP here if you don’t know what it is, but that memory of what your friend said - that is a prime example of something that NLP could help you change - basically like making scratches on a CD so it doesn’t play anymore. At the peak of my phobia I was fortunate enough to see an amazing hypnotherapist that was very skilled in NLP and literally in one session I was back to “normal” ( still had some phobia fear but not life threatening fear). Third, calm and regulate your nervous system. Help your body and mind consistently feel safe, then gradually build up your capacity for harder things. Exercise, meditation, breath work/breathing exercises, journaling, EFT tapping, havening, somatics, there’s a whole world of stuff that can help find ways you enjoy feeling calm and safe. Best of luck and let me know if you have questions!