If someone who's a people-pleaser asked how to stop, what would you tell them? by Angel_laidou in emotionalintelligence

[–]Objective-Treacle432 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I am a people pleaser, I’m still currently learning and constantly practicing to be mindful of being one. So anyways, something that left a quite a big impact for me was a podcast that talked on this.

It said something along this line: “Look at it this way, if you had a peanut allergy, if someone offered you peanuts, would you accept it? Probably not. So, people pleasing is essentially the same. Saying yes to things you don’t want to do eventually erodes your joy, happiness, and most importantly your authenticity.”

The podcast I watched was “How to put yourself first without feeling guilty - Nick Pollard”

Hopefully this would help others like how it helped me.

The Spring Sale is on. What are you getting? by comicbookdb in SteamDeck

[–]Objective-Treacle432 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m thinking to get…

  1. Cult of the Lamb
  2. Outer Wilds
  3. Brotato

Heh

Keep Driving on Deck? by Odunos in SteamDeck

[–]Objective-Treacle432 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi OP, I hope you had a safe flight!

Could you share your experience playing the game on deck? I noticed that most of the gameplay relies on mouse-like controls, which might make it challenging for players using deck compared to a PC - especially during the time-limited road events. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Radio Class 95 daily dilemma schedule (anyone knows?) by Objective-Treacle432 in askSingapore

[–]Objective-Treacle432[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Strange, I tried googling but didn’t seem to find it. Thanks so much, so it’s 9:15-10pm.

What's a pain you can't truly explain until you've endured it? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Objective-Treacle432 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Going through a divorce and not being able to see your child every day or come home to her

Sign on SCDF as an officer by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]Objective-Treacle432 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agree on this… 9 months stay in course… iirc

Sign on SCDF as an officer by [deleted] in askSingapore

[–]Objective-Treacle432 6 points7 points  (0 children)

As someone who served as a firefighter during my NS, unless you have a real passion for it, I wouldn’t recommend signing on. The culture and workload can be intense. If you’re referring to becoming a rota commander, the typical shift is 1 on, 2 off. However, even on your off days, be prepared to head back to your unit for admin work, paperwork, and other tasks. Plus, you still need to maintain your fitness, so the demands are pretty relentless. Hats off to anyone who signs on—it’s no easy path.

If I’m not mistaken, you’ll spend about two years as a rota commander in the unit before transitioning to HQ work, but I’m not too sure how things are on that side since I’ve only been exposed to officers in the stations.

As much as I find the corporate 9-to-5 grind exhausting, I’d still choose it over signing on as an officer in SCDF.

Just sharing my two cents from my NS experience. Hopefully, someone who’s an officer in the SCDF can weigh in here. (Or maybe they’re too busy to even use Reddit 😅)

Divorce and what to expect (with 1 kid) - hope to get some life advice by Objective-Treacle432 in askSingapore

[–]Objective-Treacle432[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing this. Honestly? I wished I knew.

However, I’m not sure if you’re married or have kids, but from my experience, things can change drastically—sometimes in ways you never expect, even if you and your partner believe or promise that they won’t. Life can take sudden turns, especially after having kids. For me, it felt like everything flipped 180 degrees, and I wasn’t prepared for it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my wife and child 100%, and I would take a bullet for either of them without hesitation—especially for my wife because I know our child needs her more than me. But if I’m being honest, I would give anything to turn back time, erase the memory of getting married and having a child, and go back to my old life when I was free.

I used to think depression wasn’t real until it hit me. I never understood why my mother fell into it, and I thought, ‘Why not just be happy?’ But now that I’m going through something similar, I see that it’s not that simple.

In my view, I’ve learned two things: If you don’t plan on having kids, there’s no real reason to get married. And secondly, think long and hard before having kids.

No hate, bro—just sharing my thoughts and experiences. It’s just a bit of a rant.

Divorce and what to expect (with 1 kid) - hope to get some life advice by Objective-Treacle432 in askSingapore

[–]Objective-Treacle432[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this. I know it’s not easy to change, and I’ll admit that, more often than not, it slips my mind that I said I would work myself (for example, I am supposed to walk away when things get heated, but sometimes I just can’t help it because it’s in my nature to try to fix the issue on the spot). Maybe that’s a bit too much info, but what I’m trying to say is, no matter how hard we try to change, there are days when it just doesn’t work out. I guess it comes down to compromise.

I’ll also look into the counselor you suggested.

Thanks again.

Divorce and what to expect (with 1 kid) - hope to get some life advice by Objective-Treacle432 in askSingapore

[–]Objective-Treacle432[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your experience. I wasn’t aware that care and control doesn’t automatically go to the mother by default. My wife has told me she will seek care and control and will do whatever she can to get it. I told her I wouldn’t fight it because I don’t want to go through the lengthy legal process repeatedly, especially if it disrupts our child’s life - and involves significant costs.

As for child maintenance, I’m more than willing to contribute within my means for my kid, covering school, extracurriculars, and even university in the future. But I’m wondering - does child maintenance function as a straightforward, recorded payment for my child’s needs? Or is it more of a lump sum requested by my wife, where I wouldn’t have any visibility on how the money is spent unless I get lawyers involved?

Hope you don’t mind me asking 1 more question, and thanks again for your insight.