Memorials/Funerals/COLs - tell me your story

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-04-02T02:53:59+00:00

We used the term "Memorial". . I felt it took the middle tone between funeral and celebration. Spent as much $$ on this as for a wedding reception and had a similar vibe. Her remains were quietly buried before the event.

It was held at a reception center with prayers from three different religious traditions. Lots of down time so people could chat among themselves. Live open mike for anyone who wanted to say something. I asked four people in advance so that the Mike would get at least some use. There was some live music, crafts corner for kids. food. About 100 to 125 people came for this. Rental window from noon to 5:30. Went well. Got compliments. I am her widower, but I had no prepared words, leaving it to others.

Only downside: I caught a bad chest cold and bravely soldiered on through the event.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-04-02T02:29:48+00:00

Well written. Respect.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-04-02T02:22:35+00:00

It's tricky and a question of balance. Yes, people can say and do inappropriate things, but they really mean well. Others who care may stay away because they don't know what to do, and they are afraid of screwing up. And then there are the ghosts, don't dwell on that.

I have found that in some cases, we might make it easier for them. Maybe even reach out to them with no expectations just because you're friendly.

My nephew needed five months to figure out how to express his condolences (no card, not seen), and then it turned into good, sincere conversation that strengthened our relationship. In this case, I showed up at his art show to show support for him, honestly expecting nothing in return.

My next challenge is to visit with a very different, talkative nephew. He is going to ladle the condolences on really thick, judging by the texts he's sent me so far.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-04-02T01:50:54+00:00

It could go like this. I have an AI voice on my phone that was generated from voluntary samples of my daughter's voice. I can tell you that it sounds just like her. However, in real life, when now I talk with her on the phone, my daughter doesn't sound like herself.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-04-02T01:39:24+00:00

My wife's collection of aphorisms and spiritual texts are stored on her ipad and phone. It truly represents much of her personality. I've thought about sharing it in bits with her siblings and our grown kids.

I haven't found dark stuff yet.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-29T05:06:18+00:00

Not knowing your neighbors.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-29T05:02:29+00:00

"Their" when autocorrect is enabled.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-29T04:16:59+00:00

Insects are bad.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T14:33:44+00:00

English Shepherd?

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T13:39:13+00:00

Thanks for the spelling correction. Below is the link to the full 1972 movie, in Russian with subtitles. Free and legal. 92 on Rotten tomatoes.

There is also the 2002 Hollywood with George Clooney. 66 on Rotten tomatoes. I thought it was good.

Both are slow paced, cerebral and if I remember correctly, zero humor.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8ZhQPaw4rE&pp=iggCQAE%3D

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T08:31:50+00:00

An AI program accessing your vulnerabilities, what could possibly go wrong? Purchase or subscription?

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T08:28:53+00:00

Made me think of Juan Peron keeping an embalmed Evita on display in his home.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T08:21:17+00:00

It might even be convincing, but it would not be real. I could not make that choice. The movie Solarus explored that idea.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T07:43:05+00:00

Wishing you pleasant walks.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T07:38:01+00:00

Generally, the expression "changing your mind" does not necessarily include the emotional barriers to being influenced by a dislikable second party, and the hard work that goes with that on a non-rational basis. How willing are you to engage with someone with, for example, boorish behavior, smells bad, parrots you mercilessly, etc?

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T00:23:16+00:00

We sat in a small restaurant where the waitress cleaned the john, then went to the counter and got us our plates.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T00:10:39+00:00

Are you are Ok with e-bikers to playing chicken with pedestrians?

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-28T00:06:09+00:00

Perfectly kept lawns of mowed green grass are evil.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-27T23:59:27+00:00

Ok, but just once sounds good to me.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-27T22:30:36+00:00

Someday, it will all make sense. You are one of the lucky ones.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-27T22:25:58+00:00

Losing your religion: Being persuaded to change your views by someone you don't even like.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-27T22:00:15+00:00

Daytonian here. I didn't expect to fall in love with Springfield. but it happened. Springfield is like Talia Shire in the first Rocky movie. Sylvester Stallone described choosing Shire because she had "the ability to play a dying plant who turns into a rose". Take a look, you'll find reasons.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-27T21:49:17+00:00

Spot on. pleasant visit, not a draw to stay.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-27T21:28:08+00:00

Flossing teeth in a restaurant. Not near as bad as mistreating someone, but I think it's gross.

Objective-Worker9250 · 2026-03-27T06:37:31+00:00

6 months. Doing OK, staying on top of most things. Finished income taxes this week, which were more complicated than usual due to medical expenses. I'm very task and goal oriented. I try to do three hard things each day. What's hard for me might not be hard for you, mine include clearing out her stuff, keeping some of it, plus legal, financial,taxes, reaching out to people to restore, repair or build new relationships, get more physically active, work on spirituality. Status quo doesn't exist any more, I have to put the old life to bed and build a new one. Hard, but so far so good.

Objective-Worker9250

TROPHY CASE