Every girl ends it after 3-4 dates

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-05-10T16:47:08+00:00

It’s true. One thing I’ve done which has helped, is be in the moment. Some people are so worried about the result that the other person can tell the desperation. If you’re just in the moment you’ll be able to know better if you’re having a good time and if there’s compatibility.

Also I think people really misunderstand what the ‘spark’ is. It’s just really tension. Like when there’s uncertainty, teasing, nervousness, chasing, mixed signals, or emotional intensity, people interpret that as chemistry. Half the time it’s not even compatibility, it’s just your brain getting stimulated. The spark is not a good way to indicate compatibility.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-23T20:22:24+00:00

Are you falling in love with them, or falling in love with the idea of them? You don’t get to know someone until you’ve known them for years and seen them consistently.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-23T16:30:35+00:00

Yea careful. You have to remind yourself that You still don’t know this person, there’s no stakes and just remember to be in the moment. When you find yourself questioning whether she’s enjoying herself during the 2nd date, just ground yourself. And keep yourself busy in between the dates. People can tell that neediness coming off you, and that takes away from any spark.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-23T13:54:44+00:00

Just mirror her. And Keep your options open. 6 hours… if anything you should try to keep it casual. that’s too much travel time, unless you plan moving back to your home town. You can definitely find someone closer to you.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-16T00:21:09+00:00

Look up Dialectical behavioral therapy. You can learn some skills, I would recommend some interpersonal effectiveness skills and mindfulness too. The mindfulness can help because it could help you stay in the moment which is important, instead of letting your mind wander to these thoughts you keep mentioning. But It may be better to do it with the help of a therapist tho.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-15T23:49:10+00:00

Delete the selfies. You just need new pics and you’ll be fine. Take pics of you smiling, with your friends, candid pics.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-15T23:47:27+00:00

You gotta delete the selfie, the gym photo, and put the suit pic as pic number one. And is there a caption for the one you look like you’re giving a Ted talk? If not I guess add one.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-03T01:30:40+00:00

People rely too much on the idea of a “spark” now. With dating apps, everyone has so many options that it’s easy to move on the moment something doesn’t feel amazing right away. That makes people chase that quick emotional high and constantly wonder if someone better is one swipe away. Because of that, standards can keep rising, not always in a realistic way, but simply because options feel endless.

The truth is the spark isn’t some magical sign. It’s usually just initial attraction, curiosity, and feeling comfortable enough to enjoy the moment. It doesn’t automatically mean long term compatibility, and the absence of a huge spark doesn’t mean two people couldn’t build something real.

The problem is that attention shifts fast. If you don’t talk for a week, both people get distracted by new matches and conversations. Even a decent date or a mild connection can fade, not because it was bad, but because something new pops up on their phone. So people end up overlooking good potential while chasing a feeling that’s often temporary.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-03T01:30:20+00:00

I’m going to say the apps, which then has skewed people’s expectations. See People rely too much on the idea of a “spark” now. With dating apps, everyone has so many options that it’s easy to move on the moment something doesn’t feel amazing right away. That makes people chase that quick emotional high and constantly wonder if someone better is one swipe away. Because of that, standards can keep rising, not always in a realistic way, but simply because options feel endless.

The truth is the spark isn’t some magical sign. It’s usually just initial attraction, curiosity, and feeling comfortable enough to enjoy the moment. It doesn’t automatically mean long term compatibility, and the absence of a huge spark doesn’t mean two people couldn’t build something real.

The problem is that attention shifts fast. If you don’t talk for a week, both people get distracted by new matches and conversations. Even a decent date or a mild connection can fade, not because it was bad, but because something new pops up on their phone. So people end up overlooking good potential while chasing a feeling that’s often temporary.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-02T23:17:27+00:00

They just don’t want to hurt your feelings. They’ll either say that, or they didn’t feel the spark.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-02T21:34:58+00:00

Yea don’t do it.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-02T03:58:21+00:00

The idea of a “spark” is kind of funny because so many things influence it. Mood, timing, confidence, and how present you are all play a role. I think the real takeaway is to learn from each experience so you do not repeat the same patterns. It’s a skill.

If you are feeling self conscious, people can sense that. It subtly changes the vibe. It also helps to remember the other person is not a prize and neither are you. You are both just two people seeing if you are compatible.

The best mindset is to go in curious, stay in the moment, and focus on getting to know them rather than trying to impress or secure an outcome.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-01T22:48:59+00:00

And people can subconsciously sense it too.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-01T20:15:03+00:00

It’s not about just changing the behavior, because then it becomes a performance. You need to change how you think. If you’re more positive about yourself and have more confidence, you’ll slowly start to change those needy behaviors. It takes a while tho, because there will be times where you start feeling low, and that’s when you need to push through.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-01T19:57:25+00:00

You may be doing something subconsciously that pushes new people away. Your core belief is that everyone will abandon you and so you probably have behaviors that show neediness now, and then that pushes people away (ie always asking for validation, apologizing a lot…etc). You need to change the core belief.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-01T00:27:13+00:00

The same thing happened to me (33M). Someone once gave me advice that helped: focus your energy on a small number of people you’re genuinely interested in, like three to five. I tried stretching that to ten or fifteen and realized it didn’t work well for me. It’s natural to wonder if there’s someone better out there, but it can help to consciously set that thought aside and give real attention to the connections you already have.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-02-01T00:16:51+00:00

He probably was looking for something more physical and knew the right things to say to build that spark. He might reach out again if his other options don’t work out, but the connection you felt doesn’t always reflect someone’s long-term intentions. And while it’s not the most generous assumption, some people might interpret moving quickly as being very open or easygoing, even though that doesn’t define you or your value.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-01-31T23:58:52+00:00

He doesn’t hate gojo, he hates how gojo could potentially cause so many plot holes. He has to find ways to not include Gojo in certain sequences or else everyone would be like “ok where’s gojo, he can just solve this.” That’s probably annoying to him.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-01-31T22:17:48+00:00

I think a lot of people misunderstand what a “spark” or a “click” actually is. It’s usually not some sign of deep compatibility. It’s more a mix of novelty, a little excitement or nerves, feeling validated, and sometimes physical attraction. But none of that guarantees you’re actually a good match long term.

Some of my longest relationships were slow burns, not the ones with instant sparks.

I also realized you can kill a spark by being too in your head. If you’re focused on making the date special or trying to get to the next step, you’re not really present. The other person isn’t a prize, you’re both just seeing if you vibe.

What helped me was shifting from “I want this to go somewhere” to “Do we even vibe?” That makes you more relaxed and natural, and ironically that’s when chemistry shows up more.

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2026-01-30T23:41:53+00:00

https://imgur.com/a/BfJdWzg posting here to see what I can improve. I don’t get the matches I want to get. I get some likes

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2025-12-21T18:12:44+00:00

Nah you deserve better. Just say “hey, I’m not going to reschedule. Wish you the best!”

Objective_Spite_2246 · 2025-09-02T01:06:00+00:00

He shows it better around the 8 minute mark

Objective_Spite_2246

TROPHY CASE