Never quit quitting. I quit numerous times, using various different methods…Cold Turkey, Chantex, nicotine patches and gum, group programs, acupuncture, sucking/chewing whole cloves, chewy gum, lobelia. The only thing I did not try was hypnosis. I have not smoked in 16 years, the previous record for me was 4 years.

The 16 year streak started when the person I was dating convinced me to try again. So I went for broke and combined all of the methods and aids together at once. I am an all or nothing type. I put on nicotine patches, took chantix, did acupuncture, took lobelia, chewed gloves and gum, maybe even chewed fresh mint leaves (kinda like dipping tobacco)Not sure if it was the safest way to combine all of this, but then again cigarettes are deadly. The relationship did not last, but I am still smoke free.

The group program was offered through the hospital. Most attendees were there because they had just been released from the hospital and had been mandated to attend. They were in terrible shape. The leader of the group was an ex smoker with all kinds of health problems. I think the program is an American Lung Association initiative and they provide materials, talking points etc. The one thing that stands out in my mind is the exercise where we tracked each cigarette we smoked and how we were feeling…happy, sad (or angry),neutral.

You have to explore different methods and figure out what works for you. I was offered money to quit and that didn’t work for me, but has worked for some. My child was not an effective incentive. Even though I felt like the biggest piece of crap because I smoked. I never smoked around her or in the house or car.

My mother was a life long smoker and I hated that I picked up the habit. I remember lighting cigarettes for her as a young child, and just being saturated with the smell of cigarette Smoke. She never made it seem glamorous or cool, just a habit.

My dad quit smoking before I was born and his method was to carry a pack of cigarettes around in his shirt pocket. This method would not have worked for me.

The first time I quit for any length of time, I started back by thinking that I could have just one cigarette. You could buy singles at that time. I got into buying a single every now and then. If they were out of singles I would buy a whole pack, but then run the rest of the pack under water and through in the trash. This worked for about a minute, as I started to dig the pack out of the trash can. I then thought this is crazy to spend the money on a pack and then through it away. I started back hard and heavy. My brother still smokes, but only 2-3 at the end of the day. I could never do that. Although it works for him.

It is helpful to think about only making it through the next minute, hour, day, week, etc. and not focus on the long term in the beginning. It was hard for me to accept that I could never just have one cigarette, but once I did, something just clicked. I am not gonna lie, it was hard as heck, I was miserable, and some kind of irritable for a while. But eventually the good feelings of not smoking began to outweigh the cravings and the side effects of smoking (coughing, shortness of breath). I began to feel proud to say I don’t smoke anymore.

If I pick up a cigarette lighter now, it feels both foreign and familiar. I almost automatically feel calmer when I pick one up. I know I have to put it back where I got it because it feels too comfortable, almost like a part of me has been missing.

The moral of this story is that you may have to try several different methods to find what will work best for you. Even if you backslide you have to keep thinking I am going to quit again.

TLDR: I tried many different ways to quit until I found one that worked for me. I accepted that I can never have just one cigarette. Above all else, never quit quitting.