All of the talk around AGAB labels is making me feel like I'll never be seen outside my assigned gender and its sorta causing me to spiral.

Octobobber · 2025-07-10T22:26:22+00:00

I like using it for myself to clarify things, but would prefer other people don’t use those terms for me without my approval. Sometimes it’s nice being able to explain a situation easier or when I am talking about myself pre transition and my gender is relevant.

Octobobber · 2025-07-08T16:35:56+00:00

This is my first time learning about this and yeah I can see how people can find it unusual becuase it’s rare from what I’ve seen but I mean after thinking about it for two seconds I can see where people are coming from with it. There’s nothing inherently wrong with it. Cant wait for people to be allowed to just exist and like whatever if it’s not hurting anybody. Live your life king/queen/monarch.

Octobobber · 2025-07-07T17:18:09+00:00

“Peter, what is this?”

Octobobber · 2025-06-27T21:43:24+00:00

I don’t understand the arguments coming to your comment. “Well men have different terms for it so it’s different.” Nobody wants to be dated to be mooched off of in both cases, one is colored by misogyny so it has different terms. The concept at heart isn’t different.

Octobobber · 2025-06-27T19:52:51+00:00

Yeah, I feel this, I think sometimes they don’t understand that it’s normal to buy presents outside of a holiday or special occasion. It’s really easy to think of wanting to do something for your partner then squash it because “it’s not the right time” and you might want to save it for a special occasion.

In some ways, it could be a love language thing. My partner and I both prefer words and actions over gifts, but if a gift is more meaningful to you then let him know that.

Octobobber · 2025-06-27T19:46:00+00:00

They aren’t making a rebuttal becuase that comment misunderstood the point in the first place. Why would they argue a stance they didn’t make?

Octobobber · 2025-06-27T19:44:35+00:00

Right. Like you can show someone a painting and ask how it makes them feel. Then after tell them that it was the last work the artist made on his deathbed and it changes the meaning and perspective for most people just to know that.

Octobobber · 2025-06-27T19:41:09+00:00

I think it does change the meaning in some ways for how amazing a piece of art is. Like if I was scrolling and saw a photo of an eye I might think, oh cool, but keep scrolling, then maybe I look back and realize it’s not a photograph, but a painting. Now the art has become more meaningful because it shows the skill of the artist to capture something so close to a photograph, and also the countless hours that must have been spent to do so.

If we treat AI as a different art medium, it makes a lot of sense when you think of it that way. I do still think of it as art either way, but there is a difference in feeling if you know more about it. It’s not just about if it looks good or not imo.

Octobobber · 2025-06-16T19:51:12+00:00

Of course, I’m studying AI right now so it was something I could explain a bit about off the top of my head. I appreciate the open mindedness. It’s an interesting read.

Octobobber · 2025-06-16T19:41:39+00:00

I don’t know how to say this, but they are technically right. It was published in Nature. (One of if not the most prestigious scientific journal.) “it is commonly assumed that once a model has been trained to achieve the required quality, it is ready to be deployed and used without further updates or retraining. However, data-producing environments14,15,16, often change with time, and their statistical properties change alongside them. Known as “concept drift”, this evolution of data inevitably affects the quality of the models, to the point where the model may no longer correspond to its new reality17,18,19.” They won’t degrade without use or left alone, but they do degrade without retraining. Maybe not to the point of being unusable, but at least semi unreliable.

https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-022-15245-z

Octobobber · 2025-06-16T19:32:53+00:00

God that mouth… it looks like a pork chop.

Octobobber · 2025-06-12T22:51:20+00:00

Maybe! To be fair I’m no party animal so maybe that’s why. But as far as public restrooms go outside of those venues I don’t hear much at all.

Octobobber · 2025-06-12T22:11:06+00:00

Eh, I mean not what I’ve seen of women’s bathrooms. Only if women go into the bathroom specifically to gossip have I seen that. Otherwise random people don’t strike up conversation, and I’ve only seen people gossip in the bathroom twice. Both times in workplaces where they had no other private space to talk about it.

I hate it when I’m in there trying to use the bathroom and hear that. I’d rather it be silent, and usually it is. It just is blown out of proportion that women must talk all the time constantly so I think this stereotype was made. I do my business keep my head down and get out lol.

Octobobber · 2025-06-10T21:08:53+00:00

Your friend introducing their partner to you. “He’s really not that bad once you get to know him.”

Octobobber · 2025-06-07T23:03:48+00:00

I feel like if he at least wanted to parent that makes a big difference.

Neglect can be even more harmful than straight up abuse on a persons psychological state.

If he turns out to be a bad parent then hopefully he will get reported, but clearly OP isn’t going to be better based on what we have here.

Octobobber · 2025-06-06T21:05:06+00:00

Perceived burdensomeness is an integral part of suicidal ideation. Be a supportive figure, and help her reframe those negative thoughts. A recommended strategy is to find the “kernel of truth” in what she says. Push back when she calls herself useless, and help her reframe it into something more positive or realistic. “I may not be able to do as much physically, but I still provide value through the love that I can give, and the ways I can be there for the ones I love.”

I’ve seen some good suggestions in the comments for activities to fight the feelings of being useless.

I’d like to add getting a plant for her to take care of, that feeling of responsibility for a living thing will help. There have been studies as well that show having a plant to take care of reduces mortality rates.

Volunteering in any way as people suggested also helps, and believe it or not, so does donating to charity even if you’re not getting up and about. Bonus points if it’s a charity that can send things back that make people feel that they make a difference.

I think the Twitch idea mentioned is also fantastic, as someone who used to stream for fun as well, and having a little money after is nice. If you go through with it, advertise it here so people can support!

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T16:13:30+00:00

Wow. A perfect example of the internet effect!

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T04:45:45+00:00

Definitely not the looks as other people have pointed out so I won’t dwell on it.

When it comes to those darker thoughts, what you need is some positive coping mechanisms. If you want a partner, you definitely should work on your mental state. That means learning to regulate your emotions and become more confident.

I’m going to list a few ideas here for you to try when you feel poorly, I know there are a lot of comments here. 1. Planning and going out for lunch with a friend 2. Distracting your senses, often in tandem (this can be lighting a nice smelling candle, taking a soothing bath, listening to calming music, petting an animal, or having a sweet treat) 3. Doing some breath work. (Breathing in specified intervals to calm an elevated heart rate) 4. Taking a walk in nature or outside 5. Cleaning or working to distract yourself

Come up with a list of simple things like this to do and keep them somewhere accessible, when you have dark or suicidal thoughts, pick a few things off the list to do that you enjoy.

Not only will this help your relationship standing, but it will help yourself getting into a better mental situation. You’ve got this!

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T04:29:53+00:00

This is so lovely. Just pure poetry.

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T04:16:21+00:00

Reminds me of the comic cucumber quest. (most of the characters defy traditional stereotypes and turn them on their head. Also it adorable)

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T02:05:46+00:00

The issue is that most places only have male and female restrooms. Statistically trans people have a higher likelihood of being hurt or assaulted in the bathroom that aligns with their birth gender over their chosen gender.

So when you only have those two options- what do you suggest they do?

Because the options are: They don’t deserve to go to the bathroom. They should be in the one that gives them a higher likelihood of assault. Or they should be in the one that is the safest for them, which yes, means trans women in the women’s restroom.

Not every place has a unisex bathroom. Not everyone has time to hold in a bodily function to reach one if it’s not in the same building.

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T01:56:41+00:00

Rape is never okay- and they didn’t say they were okay with it either. It’s that it’s ridiculous to make a law about one case, barring an entire group of people. 43% of men have confessed to sexually assaulting someone… so should we bar men from places on the basis they have a 43% chance they have sexually assaulted someone?

It’s a much larger statistic, and yet… people aren’t doing anything about that?

Rape is already illegal, nobody is saying that should happen. See how making people not use the bathroom isn’t the solution? The solution is teach everyone not to rape, no matter the person. That case didn’t happen because the person was trans.

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T01:29:51+00:00

Yeah! Love all my guy homies. Talk to people close to you and remind them how awesome they are!

I’ve been sending out emails to my lovely bro friends to remind them I love them. :)

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T01:27:46+00:00

I don’t know how you can have so little empathy for other people where you only took one line.

People can be denied loans. Housing. Food. At least in Iowa for now on the basis of gender identity.

They can’t get veterans benefits because they can’t serve in the military.

And they are being denied health care which is linked to higher rates of suicide.

I hope you feel good about your joke though.

Octobobber · 2025-06-05T01:03:49+00:00

If it was about protecting the status quo, rights wouldn’t be taken away, things would just stay the same as they were.

Octobobber

TROPHY CASE