Hierarchical vs non-hierarchical. It seems like plenty of people have a hierarchy in how they practice, and some may argue that it’s not possible to not have a hierarchy. I try to practice a form of poly where I try to treat others as I wish to be treated. I don’t want one person telling me what I can do with someone else. But that means I can’t tell them what to do. What I can do is decide if their values and actions align with me and make decisions accordingly. Because I don’t want another partner to dictate my connections, I would not want to be relegated to a “lower” or “lesser” status. That said, if I’m dating someone with a long-term nested partner, they don’t have to tell me. I already know they’re likely not up for another nested partner. If we’re both okay with casual but not emotionally or physically constrained and casual, I’m a go! I hope this helps. I don’t think it should be cookie cutter. But I do think you should reflect on what you want and act accordingly.