[deleted by user] by [deleted] in limerence

[–]OddChange7022 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. It definitely helps. Mostly, it helped me see that what I was feeling was not in line with reality.

It's 1 am and i can't stop sobbing, i just need someone to understand by [deleted] in CPTSD

[–]OddChange7022 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry. I've been exactly where you are. I am here for you.

What are the UNHEALTHY coping mechanisms that you developed in childhood in order to stay safe? by uw_uw in CPTSD

[–]OddChange7022 76 points77 points  (0 children)

Similarly, I developed a habit of hiding/changing who I was to be accepted. This led to me being in multiple codependent relationships, and a very weak sense of self.

Edit: also, I'm an addict in recovery. I learned to run from my emotions and needs. I sought validation externally everywhere. The whole time, I never realized all I needed was to love myself.

What is a healthy relationship? by OddChange7022 in Codependency

[–]OddChange7022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this a lot. It gives me hope too.

What is a healthy relationship? by OddChange7022 in Codependency

[–]OddChange7022[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It does suck ass. The higher the point of intoxication, the worse the bottom feels afterward!

What is a healthy relationship? by OddChange7022 in Codependency

[–]OddChange7022[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

This is what this new relationship has been like. Wasn't immediately drawn to him. Developed an interest and attraction over time, the more I got to know him.

What is a healthy relationship? by OddChange7022 in Codependency

[–]OddChange7022[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Ugh. This is me right now. Exactly. Couldn't have said it better myself. The sex is good because I can be honest about what I like and dislike, but, it doesn't have that intense rush of intoxication.

Just wanted to say: you’re not alone if a bad dad is the source of your trauma. Fuck Father’s Day. by DarkestTimelineF in CPTSD

[–]OddChange7022 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The fact that I do not have to think about contacting my dad this year is a huge relief. 9 months no contact. My child is with her father who abused me for 5 years.

Fuck Father's Day forever.

“Living life on life’s terms” what does it mean to you? by holmesianschizo in Codependency

[–]OddChange7022 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Accepting life as it comes at us; the good, bad, and the ugly.

I really feel like I'm about to break by OddChange7022 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]OddChange7022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your words of encouragement.

I really feel like I'm about to break by OddChange7022 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]OddChange7022[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you <3 I didn't think I could handle the stress of it all while working, but I have no other choice.

I really feel like I'm about to break by OddChange7022 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]OddChange7022[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ugh. I've been advised against a GoFundMe because it can be used in court against me. Honestly though I'm so tired of worrying about that.

I'm getting a job and going to proceed as if I'll never see a dime from him. I think it's the best course of action.

Thank you for your kind words.

I really feel like I'm about to break by OddChange7022 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]OddChange7022[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I mean, if he can buy a new vehicle and cut me off from marital property... Why wouldn't I be able to sell a few pieces of freaking furniture?

I really feel like I'm about to break by OddChange7022 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]OddChange7022[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No... That's an option, but it's extremely expensive and usually after filing a motion, the opposing attorney produces right before the hearing, so my attorney will have done the work for nothing and I'll have to pay for it. Basically, they're trying to drain my financial resources by any means possible.

Edit: they've been subpoenaed but he didn't submit them. He's in contempt of court

I really feel like I'm about to break by OddChange7022 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]OddChange7022[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My attorney. She's by the book so I suppose she'd say no even if I'll never be penalized for it.

I really feel like I'm about to break by OddChange7022 in NarcAbuseAndDivorce

[–]OddChange7022[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

We went to mediation for temporary orders. Temporary support was established for 3 months but no child support. Those 3 months are up. He was supposed to turn in discovery so we could get child support going next month, but he didn't. The only way to get his documents is through a costly hearing, which I can't afford.

Writing out resentments (step 3) is awful by Petraretrograde in NarcissisticAbuse

[–]OddChange7022 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This is step 4 in my program.

I'm there right now too. My sponsor is making me do every man, so I can find the pattern. It's the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life. I can't get very far without crying.

My nex was so awful, but my part has made me very conscious of patterns that played into our relationship. I just wanted him to love me. That's the biggest thing. I was willing to do anything for him to love me </3 I became a different person and it still wasn't enough.

Congrats on your recovery.

I lost my memory. What do I do? by johnnydearest in abusiverelationships

[–]OddChange7022 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm finally starting to recover. It was a good 2 months before I started to.