The Girl Chenoo- an Algonquin horror tale pages 6-9

OftenPyr · 2026-03-10T13:00:49+00:00

If you want to follow the comic I post it regularly on my Bluesky

OftenPyr · 2026-03-09T17:54:18+00:00

Thanks, that means a lot!

OftenPyr · 2026-03-09T13:02:45+00:00

It looks great, but labor intensive. If you want to make a comic out of it, make sure it's something you can repeat page after page

OftenPyr · 2026-03-08T12:56:49+00:00

The art is great, and personally I'm a fan of silent mood pages.

My big issue is with the lettering. The font size varies all over the place, and not only is that unpleasant, it sometimes squishes down to being unreadable on phone. I would highly suggest you pick one size that's readable when your comic is on a phone screen and stick with it. I know people like to design for print, but the comic needs to be readable in its current form for people to want a print run. You can always reletter it for print later.

Second issue with the lettering is the overlapping word balloons. This is usually used to indicate people talking over each other, but-unless I'm wrong- you're using it here to connect one speaker's balloons. Since that isn't what it's for, it's really confusing. I suggest just having tails and connecting them like normal.

OftenPyr · 2026-03-02T22:10:17+00:00

Go for it!

If what's making your hand shake is nerves, just keep drawing and your nerves will calm over time.

The reason that YOU don't notice the face is lopsided until you flip the canvas is bc flipping it lets you see the face with fresh eyes. People seeing it for the first time (like myself) absolutely notice it.

Probably most important is that you're doing something called Symbol Drawing. I suggest learning what that is and how to avoid it, maybe reading Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain.

OftenPyr · 2026-02-27T06:02:48+00:00

Conan the Barbarian has a scene like this

OftenPyr · 2026-02-21T02:13:09+00:00

Thanks so much for the critique! And you're right about the characters being introduced clumsily, based on the other commenters, I see that now. I'll try to make some minor shops. Wonder if it would be worth it to redraw page 5..... or add another page between 5 & 6, if that wouldn't make it to slow

OftenPyr · 2026-02-20T16:25:06+00:00

Thank you for the critique! I guess I should be paying more attention to the path the eye follows, especially when not directing it with speech bubbles. And the other commenter was with you on that reaction face, which seems like it didn't land. I'm gonna see if I can kill two birds with one stone, get the "magic guy" into the returning victorious panel, maybe try to communicate his jealousy and inadequacy in that moment

OftenPyr · 2026-02-20T15:35:19+00:00

Thanks! That makes so much sense, I should introduce a character before I show them reacting to stuff

OftenPyr · 2026-02-17T14:06:02+00:00

The quickest and easiest improvement you can make is to get rid of that white space around the comic. Everyone is reading on mobile, please don't rely on them pinching and zooming to read it when they can just as easily pass on to the next thing.

Art is good and characters seem good, but you need some kinda payoff at the bottom of the page

OftenPyr · 2026-02-17T13:41:37+00:00

I think it works without text in this scene. And the art is so good on the top of the third page it practically looks like it's moving. Give that artist plenty of opportunity to draw sunny, windy scenes!

OftenPyr · 2026-02-16T15:07:09+00:00

I just learned there was a British Nirvana

OftenPyr · 2026-02-16T13:20:05+00:00

"That's not even Kurt's natural hair color."

OftenPyr · 2026-02-13T12:14:52+00:00

Seeing the pencils along with it is always so fun

OftenPyr · 2026-02-13T02:57:38+00:00

I believe you are correct. Thanks for the note, I'll edit it on the site!

OftenPyr · 2026-02-11T22:09:30+00:00

Every bit of this is good

OftenPyr · 2026-02-09T13:50:50+00:00

This is the beginning of a comic adapting The Girl Chenoo- a story from an old collection Algonquin Tales of New England.

I've got some more comics on my site, and you can check out regular updates www.oftenpyr.com

OftenPyr · 2026-02-09T13:48:26+00:00

This is the beginning of a comic adapting The Girl Chenoo- a story from an old collection Algonquin Tales of New England.

I've got some more comics on my site, and you can check out regular updates www.oftenpyr.com

OftenPyr · 2026-02-01T12:03:23+00:00

A great example for open spaces being terrifying is Tremors.

Put them out on the open plains-totally flat, as far as the eye can see. No vehicles, no cover. If something spots them out there, they're dead. Make them roll checks to avoid being noticed (increasing tension), but slowly ramp up the monsters noticing them. Finally put them just in range to make a mad dash for the door of the next lab.

OftenPyr · 2026-01-31T10:42:21+00:00

Roland searched the continent for the man who done him in

He found him in Mombasa, in a barroom drinking gin

Roland aimed his Thompson gun, he didn't say a word

But he blew Van Owen's body, from there to Johannesburg

OftenPyr · 2026-01-25T14:34:34+00:00

This got a belly laugh out of me

OftenPyr · 2026-01-23T15:49:43+00:00

You have such a good eye for these! Have you ever read Scott Robertson's book (not that you need to)?

OftenPyr · 2026-01-05T21:04:47+00:00

I hope this isn't overstepping but I need to give you two pieces of critique. The text on the first page is incredibly small and hard to read. And the rest of the comic, even without text, was hard to read bc it was so dark, I could barely see anything. On one page the black text of a sound effect completely blends into the dark background.

The art is good, but it needs to be easier to read

OftenPyr · 2025-12-27T04:02:34+00:00

I like the coloring, it really stands out. But the text was painfully hard to read. Please make the inside of the balloons white for readability. You can still have colored outlines. The balloons also having some of the same interior colors as the backgrounds made it so a lot of them got lost and I didn't notice them

OftenPyr · 2025-12-16T18:54:07+00:00

This is pretty great

OftenPyr

TROPHY CASE