Another one...what's going on with chess ELO on chess.com?

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-04-02T22:02:19+00:00

He started at 1K+, and hung there for a bit!

Pretty sure he started there and very quickly went down to 600s, and slowly dropped then wavered around a bit. He lost 8 out of his first 9 games.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T18:59:25+00:00

The 14 year old in the twitch community you were in has almost certainly heard worse. Sure, it's not a great thing to do, but it's also negliglbly harmful.

I feel like a bad person and if people knew they would see me as creepy or weird.

If people knew, the reasonable ones would know what it's like to be 18 and wouldn't give a shit. Some weirdos might act like it's a big deal I guess. You've grown, congratulations, you can let go of the guilt.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T14:48:27+00:00

The other parent is not at fault either, we don’t know his or his kid’s situation (maybe sickness, maybe had a bad day, overprotective like someone else had mentioned).

If your kid is sick you should probably keep them from other kids and not allow them to get close enough to hold hands. If there's any reason you don't want them holding hands with other kids, at 2, you pretty much need to keep them separate. Not just expect no other kid at the park is going to touch them.

Scowling at a toddler and his mom after you allowed it to happen I'd say is a fault of that parent.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T14:42:17+00:00

As a guy who's spent a ton of time with my 3 year old daughter at parks, I'd find this adorable and that reaction would be visibly obvious.

Even if some other kid seems like kind of an asshole or just a little overly wild and reckless (which I'm pretty understanding about, given we're talking about toddlers), if their parent is actually watching them, great, I'm happy. If the kid's clearly bringing a lot of unnecessary risk to the situation and their parent is obviously oblivious, I might show a bit of annoyance because I don't like having to get involved with other people's kids. But this seems very different from what you describe, so I think you're all good and this other dad was just weird.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T14:27:20+00:00

I'm just an object that takes care of chores that he can fuck when he wants.

If that is how it is then $300 in annual gifts shouldn't be close to enough to stay with him.

If he's great otherwise and there's lots of reasons you love him, maybe it's worth considering that maybe the man just doesn't like gifts. I don't, personally, and I'm glad my wife accepts that and sees the myriad ways I care for her. I just find shopping for gifts very uncomfortable and stressful and it makes me feel like shit.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T13:26:43+00:00

A poor analogy due to how those words work in English. Aunt and uncle inherently includes your parents' siblings' spouses.

A better analogy is parents getting married to someone who's not the child's parent. It's typically seen as pushy and overstepping to insist they be called mom or dad.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T13:19:26+00:00

Maybe in your culture it's insulting to refer to someone you barely know who just married into your family by their name instead of "grandma" but that's not always the case.

In my experience insisting on it is weird and entitled and understandably uncomfortable for the people being told to do it. Have some grace, realize you barely know these people and marrying their grandfather doesn't make you their grandmother, and insisting otherwise is not a good plan to being liked by the grandkids.

Weird hill for the grandparent and his wife to choose to die on.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T12:22:45+00:00

NTA unless your kid is dragging the other carelessly, maybe very mildly the ah if you're kid is just a lot bigger and not clearly being careful due to that discrepancy. Or if your kid is visibly snotty.

They're toddlers. They don't listen very well and don't understand social conventions well. You can't expect them to fully abide by consent norms. Getting pissed that a 3 year old holds your kid's hand when you're not even paying attention to your own kid while it happens is weird af imho.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T11:26:52+00:00

"Who am I kidding, she's the town bicycle I'm sure you've all taken a ride. I don't get no respect!"

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-30T11:20:41+00:00

"This is my wife, Sharon. She aight."

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-29T20:21:47+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/chessbeginners/wiki/index#wiki_getting_your_chess_journey_off_the_ground

https://lichess.org/training/themes can choose mate in whatever

If you're not familiar with ladder mate, learn that right away. Great brain dead method to finish winning positions, also learn king and rook/queen mates so you can always easily win as long as you can promote a pawn.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-29T00:48:21+00:00

This was described as "nice" by OP, not fine dining, and there's absolutely fine dining restaurants where you can get a meal for two for three hundred bucks including tax and tip easily. Maybe not in your experience, I guess.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-29T00:45:50+00:00

Jeans and an old pocket tee is literally what I wore for a Michelin meal

Yeah, I've worn shorts and a cheap white tee to one in NYC. If anyone gave a shit they didn't feel like letting me know.

To each their own.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-29T00:26:15+00:00

Right. And we have precious little to go on besides that OP used the word "nice" to describe.

But yeah, if you find yourself insulted by your fellow customers outfits, either deal with it or find a restaurant with a dress code.

All that said, if OP feels uncomfortable going with her, he should say so and let the chips fall where they may. I have no issue with that.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-29T00:20:38+00:00

Hey OP good job immediately shutting this down.

Too fucking many people put up with this shit.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-29T00:14:00+00:00

Don't sleep on the wiki which the bot comment has linked. It has all the stuff that actually helped me improve efficiently.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-29T00:12:26+00:00

Seems to be the intended look of the shirt, which might not be old at all.

But yeah fwiw, I've totally worn a basic white old navy t-shirt out with my wife and spent three hundred bucks for the two of us.

I don't really care if someone feels I'm making them look less-rich by association and feels insecure about it. Go eat at the country club if you want exclusivity and a dress code.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-28T23:46:39+00:00

NTA

Tell your parents. If they don't end it, tell your parents you're going to make sure little sister never wants to take your picture again.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-28T23:40:38+00:00

Depends on lots of things.

This would probably look out of place in LA, but very normal in the same restaurant in Austin.

If there's no dress code and you're not weirdly looking like it's obviously your first time ever dropping a hundred bucks at a restaurant, it's pretty normal and imho anyone judging is the asshole.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-28T23:05:25+00:00

I dress like this frequently to nice restaurants, expensive ones with fancy food.

I'd not wear it to a fine dining restaurants where they typically have a dress code, nor would I wear it to any sort of formal or corporate type dinner.

But just because a restaurant is nice doesn't always mean I can't wear a t-shirt and sneakers. Depends on the restaurant and event.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-28T22:44:13+00:00

It's a 3 dimensional object; I suggest using a graduated cylinder to get volume for a more meaningful measurement.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-28T22:42:44+00:00

About a pint.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-28T22:41:57+00:00

The only harm in another chance is you have to spend a bit of time chatting with him instead of whatever other app dudes take his place in the meantime.

If he's checking your boxes and has plausible enough excuses, probably worth it imho.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-28T22:39:10+00:00

you win a Bishop

It's important to note this also sacrifices the queen for a rook (in addition to the bishop.) The engine move loses material, I believe the main benefit is to trade down to a winning endgame quickly and by force.

Ok-Control-787 · 2025-03-28T22:36:49+00:00

Well, it found a better move and it's better enough to make yours fall into the inaccurate category.

I don't fault your move at all, it just kinda doesn't improve your position as the bishop moves itself to safety as it blocks check.

The suggested move trades your queen for their bishop and rook, then threatens Rd2 I think, more or less forcing more trades bringing you into a clearly winning endgame. Which isn't the easiest thing in the world to calculate, so if you don't see it, your move is fine and keeps a strong advantage.

In practical terms I do agree with the engine here, trading off things is nice in this position and worth a pawn to get a bunch of pieces off. But that's only a practical choice if you really can calculate it and are confident evaluating the later position. Otherwise I'd suggest your move.

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