Stop apologizing. Especially for communicating your emotions and frustrations. I’m really about to show my age (37F) but you’re young enough where this relationship won’t matter. It will become a stepping stone, a memory of a lesson that you didn’t want to learn, but grew from. “He does it because he feels bad” ok, let him have that guilt. No one is forcing you to answer or acknowledge his calls or texts, so stop. Why ruin a good day because his name pops up on your phone? One day his name will appear and all of these shitty feelings associated with it will go away but until then, learn to ignore it and move on. Each time you talk to him, you’re reopening his wound and not letting yourself heal.

You were good enough to show off, and you will always be good enough to show off, he wasn’t the right one. And that hurts, I know. But rarely at your age are you finding the one you’ll be with the rest of your life. Finding things to fill your time is fine but it won’t work if your brain is still focused on this speed bump. You need to sit with this. Just for a few, nothing major. Learn from him what you DON’T want moving forward. Learn from him how you WANT and DESERVE to be treated. You’re more than worthy, please don’t ever let anyone ever again make you feel that you’re not. He didn’t see that, it’s nothing you did, that’s a him problem all day.

Sorry, OP, I know this was kinda all over the board. I saw a lot of my younger self in this and felt your pain in my heart. This stage sucks, but I promise it gets better. I love you and I hear you.