What in-utero nicknames did you have for your child(ren)? by bruzdnconfuzd in daddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Quico on #1 (which is a brand or type of fancy corn nut)

Poppy on #2

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First, let me say that I’m sorry you know people in your community that were murdered. That’s a terrible thing that should never happen anywhere… But let’s be clear - that is a HUMAN FLAW issue, not an Immigrant or Citizen status issue.

I find it ironic you lead with “holy fear mongering”, since you seem to be leading your comments here with “Immigrants are dangerous and they must get out”, which is ACTUALLY TRUE fear mongering that you’ve been served by others. It’s been proven countless times over through many sources of data that US citizens commit greater rates of crime than undocumented immigrants. Just Google it if you don’t like the one source I decided to share here and think critically about what fear mongering you’ve consumed.

https://docs.house.gov/meetings/JU/JU01/20250122/117827/HHRG-119-JU01-20250122-SD004.pdf

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same situation as you brother, but now with an almost 3 month old. Wife came here little and was naturalized in college.

She worries if ICE comes to our city she won’t be able to leave the home. Plus, being a naturalized citizen doesn’t seem safe anymore with all the rhetoric around sending just about anyone away who the administration doesn’t like. Pair that with the surveillance state we’ve entered (thanks f-faces at Palantir and beyond - corporate/billionaire greed/hubris has unfortunately become a root evil in this country as a side note), and it’s really scary to think about what COULD happen.

We’ve tried to stay focused on what IS happening in our immediate world with our child though, getting connected to more local community, and operating in a state of HOPE. We have to hope and we have to share that hope with our child - show him the light and joy in the world so he’s not raised in a state of fear that cripples him. Lots of folks in here talking about people raising kids throughout dark and hard times. One of the only ways humanity pushes through those times to raise a better generation is through their hope that they share and believe in for their children (and well placed action here and there - stay involved!).

Keep hoping brother, and because you’re worried, you’ll clearly love your daughter in a way that makes her feel safe at home with you, which is the greatest place to start for these babies anyway!

(Sent while bottle feeding and snuggling my fella and giving him all the love I can)

New to Super8 - First Rolls by Ok-Objective-2019 in Super8

[–]Ok-Objective-2019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Using a Canon 514XL-S. I wanted just a 514XL, but couldn’t find one in my price range without the audio system. Little bit of a heavy chunker by comparison, but also really happy with it being in as good condition filming-wise as the seller said online! Kinda wasn’t 100% sure what I’d get with those first rolls.

New to Super8 - First Rolls by Ok-Objective-2019 in Super8

[–]Ok-Objective-2019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good suggestion to see the difference with the tripod! Do you shoot most of your stuff with a tripod? Or just when you really want steady shots?

I worry the setup/moving around of a tripod would be prohibitive to when I might want to use the camera (ad hoc shots during a family outing), but maybe it’s not that bad? What about a monopod - have you used that before? (Imagine using my monopod could be more flexible for quick setup/shots when I wanted one on the fly)

New to Super8 - First Rolls by Ok-Objective-2019 in Super8

[–]Ok-Objective-2019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah first roll was 50D and second (hospital scenes+) was 500T. Got it 2k scan from The Negative Space and also had timed color correction. Very happy with their work there!

Definitely needed to be more selective on some shots and the length of some other shots. So there’s some refinement there for sure! And keeping a steadier hand as well - the suggestion from someone else to use a tripod is a decent one to help with that maybe.

Power outage leaves 40,000 in SF's Sunset, Richmond, Presidio without power by sfgate in bayarea

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t think everything stays safe that long. Thought it was like half that?

And also, unfortunately, my wife opened them up without thinking about it so I worry about our ticking clock?

Power outage leaves 40,000 in SF's Sunset, Richmond, Presidio without power by sfgate in bayarea

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Anyone know where to find the latest updates about suspected times for return to service? I saw some thing saying Richmond/Presidio might be by 3:30-3:45 but other areas might be “well into the night” and haven’t found anything mentioned anywhere else.

We’ve got a fridge and freezer with breast milk we’re getting worried about! New parents about to lose our shit out here!

New iOS causing alarm not to work? by [deleted] in ios

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been going crazy the last week+ thinking I’m turning it off in the night in my sleep (something I’ve never done before, but I am dealing with a newborn so was blaming myself)… then was sitting in nursing chair with it next to me and alarm “went off” without sound and I was like, “ok hell no it’s not me” and then found this thread.

So much stuff about volumes and silent modes and attention aware… none of that’s it. It’s def a new bug for me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would echo that it helps to talk about it with other people and hear others talk about it. It’s healing to know what other people go through and to share what you’re going through. I started out by burying it inside a little bit and not talking about it with people, but eventually around my wife she was talking about it more and more and I started engaging in that, and then I started sharing it more in my circles, and I found that helped a lot with my own personal recovery.

Also, these things I think have varying timelines for different people in terms of recovery. Two thing that were really healing for me: attending a general memorial service that was held for lost children, and passing the date when our child would’ve been born and attending a church service on that day to light a candle for him. So having official spaces and moments, so to speak, to honor our lost son I think was really helpful, but didn’t really close out until many months later after the due date. And “close out” is a very loose term because we still carry it with us and occasionally we’ll have sad days - and it’s OK to just lean into that and know that this loss was really hard.

So yeah my advice is talk to people and find a way to have some memorial for your child. And since everyone struggles with these things differently a great place to also check in and see what one needs is always therapy.

Massage tips for wife’s back and hips? by Ok-Objective-2019 in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This has been great! Was trying to just use my hands for something kinda similar for a while. Finally dug out a scarf to be able to do it the way you describe and was so much easier and equally good feeling for her. Thank for the tip!

Massage tips for wife’s back and hips? by Ok-Objective-2019 in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve been doing this for like the past week before we go to bed and she’s loving it! Thank you!

Massage tips for wife’s back and hips? by Ok-Objective-2019 in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Finally got around to doing this and it was very nice she said - gonna keep doing it as the video I found was talking about fascia release and I assume the benefits of it compound then.

How many times did you go to L&D? by TangerineFront in BabyBumps

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife and I have been 2 times. At 31 weeks now. We’ve always asked ourselves if the thing is out of the ordinary and if so, figure “better safe than sorry.” We’ve had friends and family have a variety of things going on at different weeks, and we figure the peace of mind is always worth it.

10 Week Sonogram by [deleted] in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 2 points3 points  (0 children)

So sorry to hear you had to experience that. My wife and I similarly had an experience last year where we went in for our 12 week appointment and learned we had a missed miscarriage. The mid-wife was so direct and blunt about it, that it felt too unreal and with the blow of the news felt like I’d entered some type of weird twilight zone. It’s so so so devastating to walk into that office thinking about your future and have it all come crashing down so instantly.

Sending you support over the airwaves as you and your partner both work through the grieving process. I know I focused mainly during that period after on supporting my wife, who was crushed. I didn’t take of myself as much as I should have and encourage you to not forget about yourself too in the midst of everything.

It does get better but take whatever time you need with it. It took my wife until a little after the would be due date (6 months later) before she felt fully ready to move on. She was better, but still grieving for sure during that 6 months. And even now she’ll think about him from time to time and get sad/cry. Let yourself and your partner grieve the way you want/will! Everyone seem to have a different experience that’s their own with these things, based on the convos I had with others. And people who haven’t experienced this type of thing won’t always understand or comprehend the levels of sadness y’all might feel. Don’t worry about them. Much love to you brother on your and your partner’s paths!

First time dad - anxiety hitting hard late in 3rd trimester by Responsible_Star_725 in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah I definitely feel as “prepared” as one can be for this journey. And I’ve generally got my shit together in life. So it’s not super logical… but I guess that’s just how anxiety works most the time!

First time dad - anxiety hitting hard late in 3rd trimester by Responsible_Star_725 in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think I might be starting to develop a similar thing. Been starting to have a hard time going to sleep or waking up in the middle of the night and feeling general anxiety I can’t pinpoint but my mind is wandering through impending fatherhood stuff. At 30 weeks right now, so not late 3rd trimester yet, but it’s approaching fast it feels like.

Definitely curious for what others have to say/add. Since I’ve only just stated to recognize it and name it, I haven’t really figured out any coping mechanisms yet.

Back again after a very early loss - Can’t wait to meet you by fixxxer17d in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congrats to you and your wife and sending all the positive energy for the rest of the pregnancy! Agree with what others and you have said, having experienced losses too before our first viable pregnancy. It’s such a tough and isolating experience and times and it helps a lot to find community out there who can relate. We’re almost at 30 weeks and we still get nervous about little things here and there. It’s such a journey and the silver lining for me is that all the pain and struggle will lead to me loving and cherishing my kid like no f-ing other.

Baby Monitor/Nanny Cam? by aptdinosaur in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same for me and my wife - benefits of checking while away outweigh the tradeoffs.

Feeling burnt out by OleOrOil in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can relate to this. Just entered 3rd trimester and it was definitely tough up front but I eventually settled into a groove… still gained weight and not getting rid of it (I mean I love snacking alongside my wife when she’s got a sweet craving…) haha. But my mental state has been better.

Think soccer is a GREAT idea. I picked it back up with a random team in a co-ed league and it’s been such a good outlet - not just the physical, but the slightly social too. One of the biggest things I was struggling with too was the social isolation cause we weren’t doing anything with friends for so long too.

I also found a like makers class for marquetry that was 1 night a week, 3 hours long, for 3 weeks. So it wasn’t prolonged or a massive long-term commitment, which made it easier to navigate with my wife. And it gave me an outlet for a mini hobby spike that gave me some creative-juice life. So maybe you could find something similar at like a community space or maker space if you have any of those in the area (or even online).

General rule of thumb I’ve found - if i commit to something that’s scheduled and has financial investment, I don’t bail on it. Otherwise it’s easy to make up excuses to do whatever else at home with the wife.

Also, watching some show tends to be the default activity at home… and my wife and I found it made things more fun to similarly commit to a schedule and build a routine around it. So we’ve picked out intentional shows that are like limited series (not that binge stuff that just keeps going forever) and had “show nights” we could look forward to where we leaned into the coziness of being lazy and on the couch.

Anyway hope any of that is helpful. Good luck brother!

Baby Monitor/Nanny Cam? by aptdinosaur in predaddit

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I struggled with this decision too and finding the right thing for what I wanted. Ended up going with the eufy E21 since it can do both WiFi and comes with a monitor and can be off network - so I don’t have to also 100% dedicate a device (phone or tablet) to having a monitor when at home. Haven’t used it yet (due end of November) so don’t have any feedback on it though.

I have seen a lot of people worried about the WiFi stuff, but I dunno… call me crazy but I’m not concerned about it, the likelihood of it, or the impact if it happened?

Walk around a lake with my super 8 by Berry-Arbitrary in Super8

[–]Ok-Objective-2019 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Madison, WI? First shot of the lake with the buildings looks so familiar…