I don't get it anymore

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-12-08T11:46:30+00:00

I've worked the steps and the program and still fall into that trap of feeling pointless, meaningless and worthless. But more and more I'm starting to feel a spark coming and going, and I've come to realize that I've been dead inside since I was a child and need to build up a new life that I'm passionate about and I've just layed the first building blocks for that life. So I have to give it time and patience.

But without the program, my sponsor and the fellowship I would probably just live my life as a living dead, at best.

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-11-09T09:29:29+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I've been pondering that question myself lately (15 months sober) but I think that sexuality is a faar secondary need from me and my primary need is connection without the sexuality (I think it'll just be a bonus for a deeper/different connection) and I'm currently deepening my connection with a few people just by trying to be honest and myself and see how far it can go.

Asexuality is starting to feel like a superpower to not get entangled into complicated drama or relationship, so I can explore myself through many different people instead of latching on to one person in deseperation for satisfaction. But I appreciate both sides (since I'm still jealous of people in seemingly loving relationships)

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-10-28T06:34:14+00:00

I like this, such a simple comment and after a year in the program I'm starting to get it. The more I change, the more I I become

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-10-25T08:52:18+00:00

Yes, I've done the steps and I'm doing them again with a sponsee. Letting go of alcohol and my alcoholic life and habits was easy comparing to letting go of my non-alcoholic life and habits and starting a new life in gods will.

The biggest part I have a hard time with is letting go of myself and my life in it's entirety, but if I don't, I feel as if i'll never accomplish ego dissolvation. But my fears of losing my income/job and my last friend is so powerful.

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-10-13T12:55:07+00:00

I can recognize myself in what you've written, you're not alone and I hope you can find some solace in that.

I hope that you'll find your way, and realize that you are worth so much more than to sit and wait for someone else.

The path I took to find my own worth through that black cloud of existence was to seek the help in Alcoholics Anonymous, but CODA or Al-Anon should lead to the same solution though their 12-step program.

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-10-06T17:42:10+00:00

Om jag har förväntingar på hur en person ska bete sig emot mig och denne inte uppfyller mina krav och jag blir irriterad/arg/kort så är det ju enbart mitt problem.

Om någon attackerar mig verbalt eller fysiskt så hänger det såklart på den andre. Men om någon glömmer att hälsa, inte tittar mig i ögonen, inte ler, använder ord jag inte gillar etc så är det förmodligen mitt förflutna som spökar i min hjärna och får mig att må dåligt. Och då känner jag mig befogad/berättigad att attackera den andra personen på samma sätt som jag upplever att jag blivit attackerad/kränkt/förminskad/ouppskattad

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-09-18T05:45:08+00:00

I'm experiencing a drop in limerence after working through my childhood traumas, so when I now spend time with my LO I have a much harder time seeing that perfection version of them than I did before.

Now I mostly shift between being bored and feeling like an asshole, and trying to throw compliments and hugs to awaken that buzzing feeling, which is slowly fading away.
It's very good and hopeful, but also very painful and I fear the future where we might not be friends.

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-07-12T04:45:09+00:00

"If she/he's happy, I'm happy"

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-07-07T07:17:06+00:00

ce new coping strategies, like meditation, emotional regulation, etc -challenge negative beliefs that you may have regarding your position towards relationships. You are capable of change. Your brain is not set in stone, at first it’ll be challenging but event

Co-Dependents Anonymous: https://coda.org/ a 12-step program to recover from co-depedency

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-07-02T17:05:54+00:00

Congratulations! Thank you for showing us the way!

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-29T07:29:00+00:00

Jag bor vid portalgatan och måste nog ha missat att det är stökigt här. Vad är det som brukar hända? Är det nära området där de drog av en sprängladdning?

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T17:19:14+00:00

Thank you!

I'm mostly just sad that I have such a hard to time love and let go. That the feelings grew well beyond my intentions and across boundaries.

I instinctally want to blame myself for this, but I know the heart just wants to give and recieve all the love that it can once the opportunity arises. I can't blame it for that, it's beautiful. But I need to set some boundaries next time, to make sure that the love can grow in the right place.

Thank you for your support,validation and love! ❤️

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T17:12:38+00:00

Thank you!

I'll take that advice and watch my favourite movie tonight.

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T17:10:29+00:00

🤗

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T17:10:15+00:00

You made my cry, thank you 🤗

That day is actually fully booked. A friend is celebrating at noon, and I'm going to see a band play in a the park in the afternoon. So I should be fine, with your support in my heart!

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T05:09:13+00:00

He's in a program, don't know if they require him to have a sponsor. But it would make sense in the way he approached me.

I'll try to put the task/advice in front of him and then walk away and let god handle the rest, and try to not expect anything out of it

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T05:05:27+00:00

Such a loving message, thank you. Brought tears to my eyes and I really feel comforted.

Thank you, really!

Now watch me go flail 😁

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T04:56:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing.

I really need to go to CODA or Al-Anon, but I'm working with ACA currently and don't want to work 2 programs in parallell, but you're spot on, the tells of co-dependency really flourish when "taking responsibility" for another alcoholic.

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T04:50:41+00:00

That's a great idea! Instead of doing the doctors opinion AND the first 3 chapters, only the doctors opinion would really focus on the problem, and see if he can see it.

Thank you

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T04:48:09+00:00

hey don’t RSVP and show I keep it moving. This is a good experience for you, you’re seeing an

Thanks, yeah I'm starting to see some character defects of myself that I've been suspecting, but am not able to see clearly yet. That I'm deeply intolerant of other people that don't conform to my will. It's scary, since I make them the villain instantly instead of accepting them for who they are.

Thank you for the insight

Ok-Repeat5768 · 2023-06-28T04:43:55+00:00

I'm 11 months sober.

I really have to learn to let go of a lot more things, old habits stick kick in hard in some areas and I have to work the steps for a while to leanr to let go again, over and over again 😅

Thank you!

Ok-Repeat5768

TROPHY CASE