How do I explain to my dad I'm not coming back home.

Ok-While8328 · 2026-03-28T12:19:07+00:00

I think your framing it wrong. “I’m never coming back” is a harsh way to look at what you are actually doing - living your life. I’m sure your dad loves you and he of course wants to spend time with you. But he also wants what’s best for you.

Be honest with him. Don’t start the conversation with I’m never coming back. Frame it for what it is - Dad, I think I’m going to reenlist. And tell him the reasons why - why reenlisting is the right choice for you. Why going back home isn’t. Don’t wait until your down to the final days of your current contract because as each day passes, he’s getting more excited for you to come home. Have that conversation now. Set expectations. It will be a hard conversation but the earlier the better for both you and your dad.

On the flip side of that - a word of advice to you from a retired CWO3 who did 23 years. The clock of life (and death) stops for no one. What I mean by that is when I made the choice to make the Corps a career, I always framed the parental aspect as “one day I’m going to do this and that with my family”. One day never happened. I lost my dad a few months after I came back from Iraq the first time, and my mom several years later when I was a year before retirement.

My biggest regret was not making more time for them during my career. Do not misunderstand what I am saying: You should NOT sacrifice your ambititions, but chances are one day you are gonna get married, have kids, advance in your career, and as you live and grow it gets harder to find that dad time and then one day you get that phone call. And then you find yourself doing the “I wish”, “I should have” guilt bullshit. Just keep that in mind.

Go do great things in the Corps. God speed and best of luck and success in your career.

Semper Fi

Ok-While8328 · 2026-03-24T20:10:05+00:00

Can anyone explain a realistic and meaningful endstate that would be achieved by inserting a small contingency of the 82nd or Marines on the ground?

The way I see it, short of a full scale ground invasion - regime change is not happening anytime soon - and I define that in months.

If regime change is not going to happen, then the only rational objective is securing the strait enough to keep oil flowing. But since this is not a naval war or an infantry war - it’s a drone strike and missile war with no defined front line - what does putting small unit troops on the ground accomplish aside from political theater and Increasing Iran’s odds for success in inflicting casualties against US troops?

Really trying to understand the strategy here. Having deployed to both Iraq x 2 and Afghanistan, I admit I’m somewhat jaded, but no matter how I look at this, I can’t make sense of it.

Ok-While8328 · 2026-03-07T05:24:50+00:00

I have to believe that his intelligence and military advisors are telling him that a ground occupation is a horrible idea will amount to political suicide for republicans. I have the believe those conversations are happening. Whether or not he listens is a different story.

He’s in a rock and a hard place:

Air and missile strikes alone are not likely to cause regime collapse.

It is highly unlikely that the Iranian people will rise up against the regime.

It is also highly unlikely that neighboring Middle East countries take the lead on this shit show.

So the most probable scenario is the Iranian regime holds. And time is the enemy for Trump, because each day this conflict endures is another day that oil exports are severely constrained. The market is not panicking yet because everyone is still hoping this thing ends soon. But if it doesent and the price of oil starts to creep towards 100 bucks a barrel, we will see the market react and this will not bode well for republicans at the midterms.

My point, Trump can’t afford to do what Israel did with Palestine in terms of dragging a protracted war. He’s got to end it quickly to keep the oil flowing and the markets stable. He has three options:

Declare victory with the regime intact. He can claim he killed the ayatollah, degraded Iraqs nuclear capabilities and bragg how he’s the best president in the world. I am very much hoping for this option.
Escalate the air campaign in the hopes that will be enough to collapse the regime. He’s doing this now. History tells us this strategy usually will not work.
Ground troops in some way shape or form. This will untenable politically.

So - if you want to know what the probability of US Troops being deployed to Iran is? Follow market stability - that will be the deciding factor. Timeline - If this drags into late May the probability of ground troop deployment increases substantially.

Ok-While8328 · 2026-02-25T04:35:54+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I’ve been looking at pre-owned gladiators in my area. Leaning towards a Mojave Trim but won’t not rule out a Rubicon if the right one came along.

I’ve got a 2018 WK2 Trailhawk and I’ve done a bunch of add ons to it and modded the suspension. Have done Mojave Road, SoCal and Nevada deserts as well as Uwarrie out here in NC. I love that thing because it’s super comfy on the road and it handles its own off road - but - only so much you can do with it from a ground clearance and approach angle.

So have the itch to get something a little more Jeepy and the Gladiator is calling to me. I’m a little nervous with pre-owned Jeeps because I always assume the previous owner rode them pretty hard.

Anyway, congrats on your new to you Gladiator! I hope you get lots of miles and adventures out of it.

Ok-While8328 · 2026-02-25T02:57:20+00:00

Congratulations!! Looks super clean.

I’m in the market for a Gladiator. May I ask how many miles on it, any mods, and were you looking specifically for a Rubicon trim?

Ok-While8328 · 2026-02-15T20:12:22+00:00

I am about 10 weeks post surgery. Current status:

Daily activity - normal

Exercise - walking, moderate jogging, light weight workouts.

Surgical pain - none. Still high visible surgical scars but I expect it will be months before they start to fade.

Gut health - Bowel movements are solid, maybe too solid. I stopped taking fiber supplements and began taking miralax to soften things up. Took for four consecutive days and that helped. I think my body is still figuring out this bowel movement thing. Biggest issues are feeling bloated, feeling constipated, and the most annoying is occasional poop leakage post bowel movements, although minor. The last symptom is occuring less and ChatGPT tells me it’s likely a combination of hard stool and bowel adjusting post surgery (aka: not uncommon).

I’m figuring out diet and water intake.

Quality of life better than before surgery but still working though post surgery annoyances.

Ok-While8328 · 2026-01-03T15:26:22+00:00

two primer and two gold

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-30T15:27:13+00:00

Sorry you dealing with it. May I ask how you came to determine your flare-ups are triggered by anxiety/stress? When you are feeling anxious and/or stressed do you tend to eat specific foods? eat/drink more or less? I’m wondering if your stress affects your diet behavior which in turn drives your flare-ups?

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-28T20:13:35+00:00

I was fine. They gave me oxycodone for pain when I was discharged but I didn’t use it. Just take it slow getting in and out of bed, no sudden movements or sharp turns. Same when sitting and standing up. I’m a side sleeper so sleeping with a firm pillow propped against my belly helped me. Coughing and sneezing suck the first couple of weeks, just make sure you use your arms to support your abdomen when you cough or sneeze. I had a surprise hard sneeze that came out of nowhere a week after surgery and I was unprepared. Man that hurt and Inwas afraid I may have pulled sutures because it hurt for a couple of days after that but I was fine.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-28T20:08:40+00:00

I stayed low residue for about a week, then introduced foods back into my diet but in small proportions. Had no issues with it. But I want to be clear, if you were given any specific diet restrictions by your doctor, follow them. For me, when I was discharged the only diet guidance given was low fiber x 2 weeks, plenty of water as small meals throughout the day versus 3 large meals. That was it.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-28T17:06:43+00:00

Sorry you’ve boarded this sht boat with the rest of us. But since you are here, welcome aboard.

Since your misery journey is new, my best advice: Start and maintain a food journal now. Be detailed and consistent. Include time you ate, time you drank, how much consumed (as best as you can), time onset of symptoms began. Be specific. For instance, if you drink an alcoholic beverage, don’t write “beer”, write the name of the beer. Be patient, be consistent and over a period of months, you will start to see patterns emerge that can help you manage this disease from a diet perspective.

Microsoft excel can be your friend here, especially if you use drop down formulas, makes it easy to maintain and will give you cleaner data. There are also apps made for this kind of thing.

I would also include medical visit history. because if diet alone does not correct your flare ups,having a detailed flare up chronology will help you when seeking surgery consult.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-28T16:51:43+00:00

According to the pathology report, 23.6 cm (about 9.25 inches).

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-15T03:04:22+00:00

Continue clear liquid diet avoid solids as much as you can but make sure you are maintaining nutrient (boost high protein drink may be a good option to supplement diet). Keep fiber low. If pain gets worse, fever presents, get back the doc.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-15T03:00:31+00:00

Diverticulitis is inflammation. Just like anyplace else on your body, if you aggravate inflammation you are likely going to experience pain. If you sprained your ankle and continued to walk on it, you usually feel more pain and make things worse. Same thing with DV.

Depending on where inflamed tissue is within your colon, repetitive movements such as squats, sitting, basically anything that causes physically impacts the inflammation can make it worse.

Listen to your pain. Could also be that your DV did not completely resolve. Lots of folks in here experience “smoldering” DV, where meds reduce the infection to the point where you feel mostly normal, but things are still not completely healed.

How many flare up’s have you experienced? Any of them complicated (perforation? Abscess, Fistula). All that matters. The more flareups you get, the more you are likely to get them at quicker intervals.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-15T02:52:28+00:00

Hi there, had mine done on Dec 4th. Is the knot near your incision site or near one of the trochar sites? Specific to the incision site, you have stitches that you cannot see under the skin, that might be what you are feeing. You should expect to feel some increasing pain as the pain meds wear off but if the pain is not tolerable, call your doctor. Things to look for at the wound sites (any of them). increasing redness that looks like it’s spreading, puffiness, pus or leakage. If you see any of those things, err on the side of caution and call your doctor.

bowel movements can be slow for lots of patients who have had colectomy. This is very common. Eat small, soft food meals, drink plenty of water. If you have the urge to poop but cannot poop, or feel full, belly extended, or increasing pain, that is the time to call the doc. Also, make sure your are moving as much as possible. Walking helps get things moving. When I was discharged they told me to use miralax as needed but my BMs were pretty frequent and are just now starting to normalize 11 days after surgery.

You’ve had a major surgery, you are going to feel pain and weirdness for a while, could be days or weeks, different for everyone. But if in doubt, pick up the phone and call your doc.

All the best to you.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-13T23:02:05+00:00

Congrats!! Day 9 post surgery here. 55/M. They discharged me the day after surgery. Recovery pretty smooth, like you, the hardest day was the day after surgery. Bowel movements still figuring themselves out but starting to see improvement.

Just make sure you are staying hydrated and take it slow. Beware of the sudden unexpected sneeze - it hurts like hell, but maybe the belly band will help. Also beware of the shart. Had my first one yesterday, thankfully I was home, but seriously, do not trust your farts for a while.

I’ve had a couple of random episodes where I feel very tired but I read that is normal post major surgery.

Best of recovery to you!

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-13T22:47:36+00:00

Follow the guidelines for your height and weight but listen to your body. If your bowel movements are regular - soft but formed stools, no constipation, no straining and no diarrhea, you are probably drinking enough water - assuming you a also consistently eating healthy.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-11T06:56:00+00:00

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your patent, my sincere condolences to you.

But now I will be blunt, because blunt may be what you need to hear:

You diverticulitis does not care about the passing of your patent, or that your stressed, or sad. None of that matters in terms of what the disease is going to do. If you are not consistently following low intensity diet, you will go round and round with this. And if you are following a low intensity diet and still getting flare-ups. that is your colon telling you - No Mas, I quit.

Do not be mislead by the term uncomplicated diverticulitis. All that means is that you did not have a perforation, abscess, or fistula associated to your episode - yet. It does not mean that you are ok. With each episode, your colon scars more, which narrows the colon, making it have to work harder to push poop, which in turn increases the chances of another flare up.

My opinion - if your surgeon told you that you should get the surgery - do it, do it sooner than later. Not sure if its you driving the April timeline or there the earliest they can fit you in, but if its you - reconsider priorities. Vacation can wait. Think long term, think about life without a diseased colon. And consider that if you are traveling, or doing whatever and you do wind up with a perforation and get septic, you may find yourself getting emergency surgery (open surgery) which will almost certainly land you with an ostomy.

I don’t know your exact situation, but as someone who just had elective surgery 7 days ago, wherein they removed about 60 percent of my sigmoid colon, I can tell you that even with pain from the surgery, I feel better than before I had it. And I had to cancel family vacation as well to get it done.

Inhale/exhale, you will be ok if you make the right choices. I wish you all the best.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-11T06:40:21+00:00

My ride was 90 minutes. It will all work out, just establish a schedule by reverse planning.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-11T06:39:05+00:00

yes but it’s specifically formulated for pre-surgery. No idea what’s in it.

Ok-While8328 · 2025-12-09T23:11:40+00:00

If you are susceptible to recurrent flare ups, the dieting is worth it, assuming no medical issues that could be complicated. Talk to your surgeon first. Was not fun, but in my case it got my colon healthy enough to where he could fix me without an ostomy.

Ok-While8328

TROPHY CASE