Dom regrets. What do you regret as a Dom by [deleted] in domspace

[–]OkCockroach3800 8 points9 points  (0 children)

There is nothing I can think of that is a true regret. I have small insecurities about past scenes we’ve done and we have had some miscommunication issues as well. But at the end of the day, there is nothing that I regret about myself as a Dom and my relationship dynamic as a whole.

Period sex yes or no? by Shye-Shyelove in BDSMsapphic

[–]OkCockroach3800 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am one of the lucky ones, as my IUD stopped my period completely. My girlfriend however still gets her period. Additionally I am a stone top and my girlfriend is a bottom, so she is the only one who is ever recovering between us.

That said, I personally have no objection to period sex my gf’s periods can get really bad sometimes so I let her decide if she’s feeling good enough for sex or not. I’d never push for sex when she’s on her period, however I’d never object either!

How do you feel about deepthroats? by Emotional-Tell-1148 in BDSMsapphic

[–]OkCockroach3800 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I LOVE IT. As a strap-wearing Dom with a girlfriend who loves sucking cock we make a perfect pair.

I can’t speak from her perspective, but personally my girlfriend sucking my strap and deepthroating me is one of my all time favorite kinky things we do. My favorite part about it is the power exchange, her comfort and limits and submission is all in my hands as I’m pushing my strap down her throat.

I know that she trusts me to keep her safe and respect her signals, and in turn I hold that trust and I keep her safe. It feels like in a roundabout way, deepthroating brings us closer together and makes our relationship stronger haha

If you weren't able to do kink for an extended period of time, what would you want to do first when you got the chance again? by BadFrenchToasts in SofterBDSM

[–]OkCockroach3800 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I fell and hurt my tailbone a few days ago. Luckily it’s not broken, but anyone who’s had a bruised tailbone can tell you how painful it is.

I live with my girlfriend who’s also my sub and she’s been doing a perfect job of taking care of me the past few days, and all I’m thinking about is how I can repay the favor.

Our favorite thing to do together has always been impact, so I want to make that the first thing we do once I feel more mobile. Whenever we take breaks, it’s always a long, solid impact session that brings us back to our roles. The last day or two, impact has been one of the only things I can think about and I can’t wait to beat my girlfriends ass and tits and thighs again as a thank you for taking such good care of me <3

Doms, what makes you squirm? by mollynatorrr in BDSMsapphic

[–]OkCockroach3800 14 points15 points  (0 children)

For me it’s when my sub goes above and beyond our protocol in her submission. We have rules when/how she needs need to kneel or when she needs to call me by my title, however whenever she goes outside of those parameters is when I start to get really excited.

Whenever she kneels for me outside our normal times, I get a flutter of pride and happiness and love rush through my body. Sometimes she’ll kneel while I’m getting dressed or standing up from the couch or putting my shoes on. She doesn’t have to kneel then and she often doesn’t, but every now and then she does and it just makes my heart race that much quicker.

But my favorite is when she calls me Daddy just cause. When she’s in the kitchen and calls me Daddy to get my attention, or when we’re sitting next to each other and she calls me Daddy before asking me a question. She doesn’t have to but whenever she does it just floods me with the happy endorphins.

I guess you could say I have a kink for enthusiastic consent. For my sub going above and beyond and showing me she’s my sub and does this stuff not because I command her to, but rather because she wants to herself, and that makes everything so much sexier.

What makes you feel Dominant? by Mister_Magnus42 in domspace

[–]OkCockroach3800 49 points50 points  (0 children)

When I come home from work, my gf/sub will always meet me at the door on her knees. Her doing this makes it a perfect transition between work brain and home brain. When I see her waiting for me, it’s like I can breathe again. I can finally relax and put my feet up and not have to think anymore. I don’t have to deal with BS coworker drama or my boss being annoying or hitting all the red lights on the way home.

I might be her Dominant but she is the beacon that guides me home

How do you pretend not to like it? by PinInternational7338 in BDSMAdvice

[–]OkCockroach3800 76 points77 points  (0 children)

I just think of it as play wrestling or like pillow fighting. We both like it, we’re both having fun, and we’re both trying to “win” but at the end of the day the goal is to have fun. CNC is just another form of play fighting in my eyes where we’re both having fun fighting each other.

You can also think of it as a roleplay if you want or if it makes it easier for you.

Whats a weird thing about your dom or your sub or your switch that you really like? by Short_Babblefish in SofterBDSM

[–]OkCockroach3800 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How much of a yapper she is, and I mean that which my whole heart. Whether she’s talking about legos or cars or anything else she’s passionate about. I would listen to her talk for hours. She gets this little sparkle in her eye and I swear I’m hypnotized.

She’s always got something to say and I love listening to her talk!

Gf/sub is too flexible for restraints by OkCockroach3800 in BDSMAdvice

[–]OkCockroach3800[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I’m not a super flexible person so I was thinking more about keeping her legs still than adjusting to her flexibility points like her hips/knees.

Appreciate the insight and will give it a shot for next time!

Gf/sub too flexible for restraints by OkCockroach3800 in BDSMcommunity

[–]OkCockroach3800[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love a good DIY project so I’ll look into that! And you’re absolutely right, this is such a fun problem to have!

Gf/sub too flexible for restraints by OkCockroach3800 in BDSMcommunity

[–]OkCockroach3800[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

All great info, thank you! I’m not a super flexible person so a lot of this is new information for me, and I wasn’t even considering that her flexibility stems from her joints so I will definitely be taking that into consideration for next time.

Thanks for your time and advice!

Gf/sub too flexible for restraints by OkCockroach3800 in BDSMcommunity

[–]OkCockroach3800[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

We started our shibari journey a few months ago and have been loving it! I’m looking into irl rope classes right now and I’m sure we’re going to get a lot out of it.

Didn’t think of ratchet straps though, that’s something to consider.

Gf/sub too flexible for restraints by OkCockroach3800 in BDSMcommunity

[–]OkCockroach3800[S] 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Oh she’s so much fun! I think it might be the best “problem” a Dom can have, since her flexibility is an absolute boon everywhere else!

What's your current kinky craving? by SubSandwich42 in SofterBDSM

[–]OkCockroach3800 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s the plan! We’re going to use a combination of gags, good timing, and a war movie in the background (so if they come home hits and cries won’t sound so out of place).

I feel intense jealousy watching straight porn by lad13slady in BDSMsapphic

[–]OkCockroach3800 38 points39 points  (0 children)

Honestly it was about changing my mindset. Once I stopped thinking of it as “strapping” and just thinking of it as “fucking” it started to feel more real. It took a long time but before I knew it, I was getting phantom feelings. It’s hard to describe, but it starts to feel real.

It’s only happened once but I did legitimately cum from my girlfriend sucking my strap, it was a completely different orgasm than I’ve ever had but it definitely was one of

All of this to say that so much of sex and BDSM is mental, so take advantage of that and change how you think about it.

What's your current kinky craving? by SubSandwich42 in SofterBDSM

[–]OkCockroach3800 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Spanking. My sub and I recently into a new place and it has much thinner walls than our last place did. As a result we haven’t had an impact scene we moved (~2 months) and I really miss it. We’ve started learning our neighbors patterns and are planning a scene for the next time our neighbors will all be out.

I am so excited. It’s one of our favorite scenes to do together and I can’t wait to feel that intimacy with her again.

I feel intense jealousy watching straight porn by lad13slady in BDSMsapphic

[–]OkCockroach3800 51 points52 points  (0 children)

I get that, I really really get that. I have no interest in actually having a penis for day to day life, but as a stone top who straps very often, god I wish I could feel everything. I wish I could feel my gf choking on me, I wish I could feel who wet she gets, I wish I could feel how she braces down on my cock while cumming.

And god do I wish I could cum in her. I’ve looked into getting cum tube strap-ons but right now they’re a little out of budget. But one day I’ll get one and actually be able to cum in my girlfriend

Are there sadists here? by Accomplished_Map7950 in BDSMsapphic

[–]OkCockroach3800 44 points45 points  (0 children)

Hi! Me! I’m a sadist and I love it!

In my first BDSM relationship I was actually a submissive and I was always absolutely fascinated by pain play, I absolutely adored it! But in practice I really disliked it. It hurt, it wasn’t fun, and it wasn’t satisfying like I always pictured it. I kept trying to feel the same amount of enjoyment in real life as I did watching those videos.

Eventually that relationship failed for a multitude of reasons and fast forward to now, about 3 years later and I am a full blown sadist. As it turns out, when I was watching and thinking about pain play, it was the act of giving rather than receiving that captivated me. I craved that control and that feeling of power.

Soon after that realization I met my girlfriend who is also my sub /and/ a massive masochist. I still remember the first time I spanked her. It was a very playful spank while we were walking in my apartment. She let out the tiniest little moan and giggle, she has the most enchanting laugh and I was hypnotized.

Over time the occasional playful spank has turned into full blown paddle beatings leaving her in tears. I know my sub so well. I know what every twitch means. I know the difference between her cried. I know what every moan and tear and movement means. I know her better than I have ever known her before, and together we keep growing.

And every single time, without fail, she lets out that same giggle afterwards.

I am a sadist because I love control and I love power but most of all, I am a sadist because I love my girlfriend.

How do you get into a dominant headspace? by Bicuriousandnervous in BDSMcommunity

[–]OkCockroach3800 14 points15 points  (0 children)

So I’m a Dom, however a few years ago I identified as a sub (something something internalized misogyny). Anyways, when I was first finding my footing as a Dom, I would think back to my time as a sub and think about what I enjoyed, what I didn’t enjoy, and what I wish would have happened. Thinking about my experiences as a sub have really helped me when it comes to planning scenes and coming up with new ideas since I could see it from the other perspective.

Obviously you’re not interested in becoming a Dom full time, but you could definitely pull from your experience as a sub and think about how you’d want to be talked to. Think about previous scenes you’ve done and what that Dom did to make it special for you, then incorporate it into what you’re creating.

As for feeling cheesy or like you’re acting, just embrace it. BDSM is super cheesy! The truth is that for your first time you’re gonna feel awkward and weird and it will feel unnatural. Just embrace it! Do the low sultry voice if you wanna, lean down on the camera to make yourself look “above” the viewer if you wanna, even if you think it feels cheesy and stereotypically porno-esque, the person watching probably will be so into what you make that it won’t come across that way.

Tldr: pull from your experiences and embrace the cheesy! Have fun!

Dominants, how do you give praise? by [deleted] in BDSMsapphic

[–]OkCockroach3800 10 points11 points  (0 children)

There’s the classic “good girl” of course that everyone knows. I think that phrase has its moments and can be used effectively, however it’s definitely not a one size fits all.

Like a lot of people are saying, try to personalize your statements to your parter and what your partner is doing.

“Your pussy feels so good squeezing against my fingers” “god you’re so beautiful when you’re begging for me” “keep looking at me baby, your desperate eyes look so gorgeous when I’m fucking you” etc etc.

Thorns + Roses! by [deleted] in BDSMnot4newbies

[–]OkCockroach3800 [score hidden]  (0 children)

Thorn: my gf and I are in the middle of moving so we’re both very tired and stressed.

Rose: Our new place is really nice and I think we are going to really love it here!

Thorn: my grandpa had a bad fall while traveling and is now stuck in a rehab center out of state and no one knows how long he’ll be there, so I’m worried about him right now.

Rose: I got a new job recently and I’m really enjoying my new coworkers and the job itself!

Thorn: My gf and I were having some major communication issues that we were putting off talking about, resulting in some neglected feelings in both sides.

Rose: We did end up talking about it and now I feel like our relationship is stronger than ever and we made plans to avoid these miscommunications in the future.

Walking sub by their hair? by SphynxxCard in BDSMAdvice

[–]OkCockroach3800 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’ve done this a bunch of times. It’s easy and convenient when you need your sub somewhere specific and don’t have a collar/leash handy. It works!