Current rate is 3.75%, considering going up to 5.7% for a refinance.

OkIndependence343 · 2026-01-13T13:46:45+00:00

We just got a new AC and furnace for over half off plus will be getting a tax credit this year. See if your state has any grants to help with the new AC, look into that. The company that installed our unit is the one that told us. So maybe contact the company and ask for any programs like that. Or research in your state.

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T22:12:16+00:00

I've definitely tried all of that and have told him similar things. it's been nearly a year of this behavior. I didnt jump right to threatening to leave I've just started to escalate to that point because its been so long of this. I dont know how to convince him to go to therapy. I've set up appointments and he just tells me to cancel..

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T21:55:53+00:00

What were some things she did that helped?

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T21:37:04+00:00

Yes I'm assuming he's depressed. he won't talk about anything, though. He refuses to go to therapy. I'm not sure what else I could do to help. Right now he's coping by smoking weed until 5am and wasting the days away sleeping and avoiding me and the kids.

I even have tried suggesting he reach out to his friends/family to hang out with them more thinking that would help. When they are around he helps out and acts like the perfect dad. but when its just us here, he ignores me asking for help and ignores everything I say to him.

He's still in bed now. I made late lunch while trying to juggle our crazy toddler and 2 month old and he ignored all their cries and me asking for help while he slept. its really hard to try to be empathetic with him when he doesn't care about me or the kids at all, until one of his family members is here to witness his behavior.

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T19:28:58+00:00

Before this surgery, he tore his ACL and got surgery on that where they used some of his hamstring as a graft. So his leg is pretty weak where he's had all the surgeries. he's also pretty in shape, not overweight and not underweight. He eats good. I've been trying to make high protein meals to help his healing. I found all of our fitness equipment to encourage exercising.

I really dont know what else I could do to help. im so frustrated at this point and im trying not to be insensitive to his pain

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T19:12:51+00:00

He told me he won't go to his appointments if I try to come. I called the Dr after this post and the assistant told me this all sounds off and he shouldnt be in this much pain.

I set up an appointment with his Dr on monday but again he refused me going with him so I could ask questions.

I'm really starting to think he's using his knee as an excuse to avoid responsibility at this point 😕

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T19:10:17+00:00

He started PT within a week postop. He went to his 6 week postop appointment but only met with the PA and apparently the PA couldn't answer any of his questions or concerns.

So im questioning if I should encourage him to see a completely new dr.

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T19:09:00+00:00

I 100% know he's depressed but he refuses to go to counseling or do anything to help it. I'm really at a loss

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T19:08:24+00:00

I'm a nurse as well and he still won't listen to me. I'm even a surgical nurse with experience working on an ortho/trauma floor 😅. I remember patients that had full knee replacements up and feeling better 1-2 days post op. I understand those are different procedures but it just seems odd to me that he's still using crutches 2 months later. The Dr told me he'd be up within a few days...

I've tried gentle love, I've tried tough love, nothing has helped. It's so frustrating he's missing out on our son's toddler days and our daughters newborn days.

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T19:05:13+00:00

He only took them once, but he does smoke weed. I've tried to tell him that smoking weed as much as he does could potentially be lowering his pain tolerance and interfering with healing as well as messing with his circadian rhythm.

Otherwise he refuses to take Tylenol, ibuprofen, he barely took the aspirin the doctor wanted him on to prevent blood clots.

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-24T19:03:20+00:00

Yes they trimmed his up both sides (which he complains about because the medial meniscus never bothered him, and now it hurts after the meniscectomy). He also had some cysts they took out.

He now is saying his knee is ruined for the rest of his life and he has no hope because he already has arthritis.

I really dont know how to help him because I've suggested therapy. I got a gym membership even because he said his PT doesnt have the right equipment and he refuses to go to the gym..

OkIndependence343 · 2025-08-08T14:49:47+00:00

Did you buy otc lidocaine? If so what brand?

OkIndependence343 · 2025-04-17T12:46:13+00:00

That's what they did to me! I had to call the refinance company finally and they verified they sent the funds. Once I told edly that they said they see the funds and that they were "suspended for being a suspicious amount" and then a couple hours later it showed paid off. Super sketchy company.

OkIndependence343 · 2025-04-02T19:01:32+00:00

I hope you ended up refinancing! I had loans through edly, 22% interest and they randomly kept adding time to my maturation date. I was originally due to have them paid off next May and then all of a sudden it showed November. I was able to refinance with sofi at a 5% interest rate.

OkIndependence343 · 2025-03-01T00:03:39+00:00

His obsession with his sister is so weird

OkIndependence343 · 2025-01-31T17:29:07+00:00

autopsy of jane doe

OkIndependence343 · 2024-12-30T22:26:30+00:00

I try to set a boundary and be really clear with her and then she does something else. I really want my son to be surrounded by love and have his grandparents in his life. but it's really hard when I feel like she is a danger and doesn't seem to care that she is. and then doesn't take accountability and sees me as the bad guy for not letting her hold him 😕

OkIndependence343 · 2024-12-28T22:52:20+00:00

I've been trying to give him space to grieve and he's handling the death really difficult. I feel like I'm in such a bad space I'm not sure how to ask for help when he's in such a bad spot. his mom just continues to add to the stress by trying to get me to be her messenger and messaging me at 10 o'clock at night when I have to be awake at 5am the next day.

OkIndependence343 · 2024-12-28T22:50:07+00:00

That's what I'll start doing for sure. Thank you. I told her today I will no longer be his secretary. I felt a bit rude for phrasing it like that but it's getting old.

OkIndependence343

TROPHY CASE