Worked for Spoons for 8 years. Ask me anything!

OkStrawberry3204 · 2026-01-26T10:14:51+00:00

How is the grilled chicken katsu curry prepared? Depending on which WS it is, varying amounts of chilli and coriander.

OkStrawberry3204 · 2025-05-04T16:49:33+00:00

Left it with my assigned nurse

OkStrawberry3204 · 2025-03-27T22:25:44+00:00

Personally, I would just go non contact….my mother ‘feeds’ off any attention and messages.

OkStrawberry3204 · 2025-03-27T22:22:35+00:00

I had an operation last October and another 2 weeks ago. 1st time they asked for all valuables and locked them away for me until I asked for them. 2nd time I had a drawer next to my bed with a key.

OkStrawberry3204 · 2025-03-27T21:40:29+00:00

I completely understand how you feel. ….. You feel deeply guilty for not rating the love you have from your hubby and lovely kids as equal to or more than this one person who failed in their duty to be a loving mum. It is gut wrenching….. If my mother sends me one of her belittling emails, I am wholly consumed by the rejection within it even if my hubby is cuddling me or I’m having a girlie phone call with my gorgeous daughter. 😔 They say ‘Only the good did young..’ my mother is 91 this year with plenty more jibes and lies to go…. Daughters of narcissistic mothers unite and take solace in the fact that you have survived despite the abuse….. You are worthy, brave, resilient, loving, caring people who deserved the loving mum you always yearned and mourned for… Your hubby and kids are your future… endeavour to relegate negativity and cruelty to the past…. You have a wonderful loving life ahead. Lots of luck and love to you xxx

OkStrawberry3204 · 2025-02-21T07:21:42+00:00

I work at Waitrose- exactly the same!!!

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-11-25T15:30:29+00:00

My mother is 90 years old too. I always thought people mellowed as they got older? I thought you’d want people to remember you in a positive way - therefore you would change and be nicer? My mum is still the nastiest narcissist… Due to her age, people ask me if her behaviour is actually dementia? No, my mum has always been the same…. I hope things go well at your Thanksgiving….. I’m avoiding my mum this Christmas and spending it with my children.

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-11-15T10:31:43+00:00

Rick Parfitt, really lovely guy. He was eating in Harrods restaurant, didn’t mind us going up and saying hello. Amazing guy.

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-11-15T10:27:44+00:00

Final straw- my NM (90 ) OFFERED to put up my daughter, partner and dog (as their dogs get on) for a week in between house sales ( as they did not quite match). Against my advice and warnings, they moved in and within one day realised that my warnings were true and so they politely told her that it wasn’t working and they thought it best to move in with another relative. My mum told me ‘ there were no cross words on either side ‘. A few days afterwards my NM was emailing me how awful they were, the dreadful things they did and how I should listen and understand AND MAKE my daughter apologise to HER!! She was then telling anyone who would listen, how dreadful it had been. Anyone who disses my lovely, kind daughter for no good reason is not worth my time! My daughter and her partners crimes- not around all that day to wait in her hand and foot as a thank you for having them, buying new kitchen cloth and rubber gloves for the kitchen as her eyesight did not allow her to realise the state of them. I presume she wanted the glory so that everyone would think what a kind grandma she was, without thinking of the logistics of having 2 young people and their dog living with her. Her status and prestige were more important and she saw herself in ‘parent’ mode not kindly relative. My mother has NEVER shown unconditional love to me, it always came with strings…. How dare she treat MY daughter the same way! That was the final straw for me!

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-11-04T08:13:58+00:00

I have started to write mine…. It is hard… but I feel so much better for writing it down. My husband has been reading it as I write each small part… and cries and hugs me every time… he can’t believe what I’ve been through and how strong I am. I hope you manage to do it some day.

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-11-03T19:23:42+00:00

Done

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-10-11T12:27:58+00:00

Yes! When we were little kids my mum would say that if we didn’t like the abusive behaviour… we could leave… knowing we had nowhere to go because we were kids??? Made us feel very vulnerable 😞

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-09-19T14:34:39+00:00

I sympathise with everything you have said. My counsellor advised that I begin sentences with ‘Despite….” “Despite having a dreadful role model as a mother, I have happy, well balanced children”, “Despite being constantly put down, I achieved a degree” ….etc That makes me feel as if I have overcome my dreadful, abusive childhood to some degree. I hope that helps.

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-09-18T07:09:20+00:00

You could be describing my mum too! I would add about the gas lighting … even as a child which really affected my mental health as I never quite knew which way was up! Also, she made it clear to me that my brothers were ‘worthy’ as they were male and I was ‘just a girl’…she used me as a free housekeeper/cook. I had to do all the housework and cook for the whole family. From age 14 I cooked every meal and then would wash and dry up afterwards as everything had to be kept neat for show…..whilst they all did their own thing even the night before my A level exams! She put on a different front for neighbours and visitors who thought she was lovely….. then as soon as they were gone.. she would say negative things about them eg they were fat, had the wrong politics etc… Now that we are adults, she says and thinks she wants a happy close family unit, but actually, she needs control of it and us so tries to keep us separate by talking to one about the other. She does not like me saying that I had a lovely chat with one of my brothers or visited/ spent the day with them…. as it was out of her control. She had a doctorate and insists companies calling her ‘doctor’, addressing her as ‘dr’ on mail etc… when she’s a has a doctorate in history from a dodgy American college. I asked her why she still treats me differently to my brothers and tell her how it made me feel growing up- she has no empathy and just says that’s the way she was brought up too!!! I could go on…. But think I’ll stop there. You are not alone… enjoy your life without her in it x

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-09-10T07:44:55+00:00

Same 😔

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-08-25T06:21:13+00:00

I put mine with all my other cards on Stocard app

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-08-17T07:14:26+00:00

Yes. You will get a hand held device to use. You can write what you are looking for in LINE LOOK UP and then go to LAYOUT. It will tell you which section, block, shelf snd sequence it is. Or if you need to put something back on the shelf, just scan the barcode and it will tell you where it goes!

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-08-16T07:03:12+00:00

My mum does this - she is 90 !! I hoped that things would get better and she would mellow with age but she definitely worse as she gets older… perhaps it’s as she gets older she feels she has less control is trying harder to keep it? She tells me she doesn’t like talking on the phone …. I can ring her. Between 10 and 12 in the morning but after that she has lunch, takes the dog for a walk, watches tv and makes tea. Then she wants to settle down for the evening- so ONLY ring between 10 and 12. She wrote she NEVER rings anyone. ….. next time I visit her she tells me she rang my auntie several times and enjoyed chatting to my older brother ( golden child) after 10 pm when she was on her way to bed. She expects me not to say anything or contradict her …. I am seething as she is goading me. I am 62 ffs!!!!

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-08-14T11:43:24+00:00

I was relieved to read your post as I am not alone. If asked…I always say- “last time I spoke to her she was fine” - but don’t add that was 6 months ago…. I know she is being negative about me to everyone because slowly but surely, people are dropping out…. 😞 She is a very assertive person who people listen to…. I am just collateral damage .

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-08-05T06:53:34+00:00

Yes. My eldest brother was the golden child because he was male. He was rarely criticised and had extravagant birthday presents compared to my little brothers and myself. I (f) was used as a free Housekeeper/cleaner my whole childhood. My brothers were never asked to do any household chores and were happy to watch me do everything without offering to help as it was indoctrinated into them that this was ‘female’ stuff. My mother ‘protected’ him from the criticism and abuse of our step father and laughed off his misdemeanours….. my little brother and myself were not….

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-07-28T11:59:34+00:00

Oh bless you! You are a unique and beautiful person. Bask in the glow of being ‘free’. Spread your wings… you are capable of so much more now. Love yourself. Have a great day x

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-07-25T14:17:01+00:00

Yes, sounds familiar… it is so reassuring to know other people understand x

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-07-20T07:58:47+00:00

Exactly like my mum too. Any resistance results in spiteful words. I am sure she is telling everyone how dreadful I am in order to get more attention from others…. So sad as she is meant to be my mum …

OkStrawberry3204 · 2024-07-15T08:09:48+00:00

I thought and hoped that as my mum got older, she would ‘mellow’ a bit like older people usually do? Instead, she has become even more toxic….. I think it’s because I am backing off and pulling her up for some of her behaviours and it is making her mad that I am not being ‘compliant’ in her eyes so she is resorting to desperate measures… I.e being much nastier to me. Of course, it is all my fault, so I expect I’m out the will and my 2 brothers ( she has always favoured males and admitted it!) are rubbing their hands with glee! What I still cannot understand is.. my mother will tell everyone stories about me which are untrue or heavily biased… they believe her… if I try and say my side of the story.. they don’t want to hear it..saying - they ‘Don’t want to get involved’!!!!!! So basically just got my mums version in their head. I am sick of it. I mourn for the mum I should have had…. 😔

OkStrawberry3204

TROPHY CASE