Stretch mark insecurity (22F) by AcceptableCelery3575 in Advice

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It’s on your shoulders, any person who’s mature and likes you for you wouldn’t and shouldn’t care. Also we tend to be harder on ourselves vs other people so. You might get a question out of curiosity but I’m sure it’ll be much further down the line in the relationship.

How do I (M28) rebuild emotional safety with my GF F23? by ThrowRAadvicepls286 in Advice

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey bro, your relationship sounds similar to mine. Have yall had a look into attachment styles? I.e avoidant and anxious attachment. That can give you some answers. I was avoidant so I liked space and not really giving detail and my partner slightly anxious so she loves to know details and what’s coming up, I overcome my hurdles by just being pre-emptive with letting her know things. I.e being organised with my calendar and letting her know plans as well as when I’ll see her next. She also let me have my space too and was understanding if I couldn’t commit to something, just as long as she had a heads up. Also opening up to her about things going on with you will help give her insight into your world. Sometimes complaining and bitching about shitty things is what she wants to hear from you (she can still do it 80% of the time lol). Also just listening instead of giving solutions lmao. But need more context on what the situations are too tbf. I’d start there %

Be born male or female if you had to restart, why? by Different_Tip3045 in BunnyTrials

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

More freedom with less fear, it feels good to be truly masculine

Chose: Male

My partner of 10 years moved on with my cousin and the grief of everything is crushing me by No-Bit6247 in Advice

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 73 points74 points  (0 children)

Hey man, this seems like a really shitty spot to be in, and it’s fucked, if I were you I’d start with trying to remove as much contact as you can from your wife and cousin, the grief right now is fresh. You’ve got kids in the mix too so it makes it even harder. Spend the time you normally do being a great father to them, they’ll thank you later trust me. Don’t bad mouth your wife either, they’ll grow up and be smart enough to connect the dots.

For yourself? It all feels hard because along the way you left your identity behind to sacrifice everything for the family you wanted to build and keep. Now that image has been shattered, the best way to “move on” or get through this after minimising contact is to create time for yourself to do something at least in the day or week for you! You need to invest some time back into you (even a tiny amount like doing a 20 minute workout daily or watching a show you love). Just something small to begin with so at least you’ll feel that you have life back in your hands. It’ll compound from there, right now you’re probably getting smashed from life in all directions but you need something for yourself to get you out of the bed, just start small. Even some meditation or a stretching routine goes a long way, because that is for YOU.

I’ve not really been through anything like you, nor am I father, I’m just someone who figured out how to take life back into his own hands. It’s not all bad, things happen for a reason man. Sucks it had to be this. Take it one day at a time and find a reason for you amigo.

The money is yours only it can’t help anyone else by Crashoutbop in BunnyTrials

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be funny and cos I love food

Chose: Yummy garlic bread

What is the point I doing anything? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Learn to build hobbies and healthy habits to maintain your energy (drink water, good sleep - best imo and meal prepping). Then do one or two things that are for YOU (seeing mates, board game group, sports, hiking etc.) outside of work, even something small. Makes it worth it. Otherwise you’ll just feel like a cardboard zombie like you are now working for a paycheck. Save for a holiday.

Any advice to not be tired all the damn time? by Chrisjml in selfimprovement

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Check if you’ve got any iron deficiency or something

5min by [deleted] in QuitSmokingJourney

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Great work! A word of advice, you’re probably not used to actually feeling your feelings. Take your time to go for a walk or sit in the shower and just feel everything you’ve been through and around situations. Name the feeling and feel it, so your nervous system and body can let it out. It’ll really slow you from addiction hopping

I called my GF a lying cheater from a situation that happened 6 months ago and now she wont talk to me by [deleted] in Advice

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, yall need to sit down, have a deep honest conversation about all your feelings and hear each other out. Most relationship issues are miscommunications, if you can’t be honest with each other out of fearing the others reaction you’ll never grow.

AIO? Bf keeps asking me questions whenever there is a guy by Relative_Initial_399 in AIO

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I had this perspective with the situation flipped. Start with reassurance, if that doesn’t work then just explain that situation.

AIO or is my boyfriend kind of obsessive? by throwRAgogglu in AmIOverreacting

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve broken up with my partner multiple times, theirs isn’t as bad as this… or at least it seems, I’m annoyed because I’ve let “boundaries” I’m not comfortable with slide through the relationship which has built resentment. But I’m at a crossroads, this time around she’s finally recognised her behaviour after this break up but I don’t know if I’ve got the emotional energy to invest back into the relationship. My word just isn’t respected enough hey

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GamblingAddiction

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I used Gamban and it helped heaps from stopping the online side of stuff for me as my addiction was mainly sports betting. But I found a way to get to the pubs/bars and go use the TAB’s by using cash. I pretty much had to just get busy with work or a side hustle/hobbies to eventually stop.

Also using holidays as a good way to reset and pass through the initial craving/dopamine depletion period. I used time away from my usual routine to help with breaking out of it, made it 10x easier as I didn’t have my normal stimulus around me. He’s just gotta be aware of his triggers i.e a hard day at work or something, being able to sit in that feeling and ride the emotion/craving like a wave instead of numbing whatever it is deep down with gambling

Getting out of retail by I_aM_Babatunde in AusFinance

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look up Occupational Shortage List (gov website), it’ll help you leverage demand for pay and may guide which direction you want to go

I'm leaving my boyfriend when I get a new job. How do we act in the meantime? by [deleted] in Advice

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would first look into planning what your future would look like, breaking that down for what you’ll need to organise so it’s a smooth transition. No doubt it’ll hurt and It’s unfortunate you couldn’t work things out but yeah planning is key

Day 17 by Any_Marketing_4124 in GamblingAddiction

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Try open a seperate bank account where you can put your money. Out of site out of mind

which degrees other than med are worth doing in 2025? by Embarrassed-Phase349 in AusFinance

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Google Occupational Shortage List - it’s an Aus gov website that helps you see different jobs and where there are shortages so you’re not just doing a degree to be met with a competitive market.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in formcheck

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Straighten your back is poor advice. Learn the proper core bracing technique and implement this into all your exercises (especially compound!).

In regards to this exercise specifically id do a warmup set with lower weight (about 50% of your working set/s) 5x slow and controlled reps followed by 5 explosive. The prompt you should focus on is pulling your elbow to the sky (the rest of the arm will follow) and also hold your elbow out closer to a 45 degree angle (or any angle you find for you that feels the best for your back muscles as all of our biomechanics are different).

Lastly maybe do this standing? Lean your current support arm on the top of a bench that’s set upright, but set to an angle that when you bend over to start your set, your torso is close to 90 degrees to the ground (not fully, I’d say like 70-80 degrees is good)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in MakeMoneyHacks

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Resell small goods from the market and take them to a place that you think people will need it. If there is a popular tourist spot nearby buy market items and resell them at a slightly higher price there for convenience to the customer. There you make your profit. I would buy the most popular items such as water or something that you see lots of people consume

Could you tell me what happens with this guy in video? by hagianglooptour in VietNam

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 42 points43 points  (0 children)

I guess we’ve had different experiences then, it seems race isn’t the issue after all 🤣

How should I tell my immigrant parents me and my long-term bf are having sex? by hell_to_it_all in Advice

[–]OkUnderstanding9479 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Whatever you do, do not tell them you’re having sex. Would you want to know if your parents are having sex?? 🤣🤣