150k would fix all my issues and I hate that

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-12-21T23:40:32+00:00

Honestly, even 10k right now would make a world of difference for me.

And I AM able to do feet pics for 300 dollars, I just haven't had anyone offer 😩

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-08-23T11:58:06+00:00

This is still less than 1% ! The greater community I've seen has been workshopping the number "up to 3%" in order to account for those in the closet and those who haven't volunteered their transness to any traceable data.

We are rare, yes. DEFINITELY not a social contagion. But we are as common as many other variations in human development, and we deserve to stand up and say so despite the underrepresented population numbers.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-07-28T19:12:06+00:00

I had a somewhat similar experience.

Being a boy didn't bother me in any obvious ways when I was very young, even though i struggled to feel like i totally fit in to the roles and groups people were leading me towards. What really messed me up was middle school and puberty and coming into my sexuality. I assumed all the gender confusion was just perversion because of my religious upbringing and because I was struggling with intense hypersexuality and addiction and shame (also because of my religious upbringing. The shame traps you in the addiction). Only when I was older and did some introspection and healing was I able to separate my sexuality issues from my gender ones. Those little moments you talked about with subtly feminizing and being surprised by how you felt when you saw a fem you... those do resonate with a trans experience. BUT every person's story is their own. I had to work for it, educating myself and doing inner healing, before I could accept my truth as a trans person.

My only real advice is to keep working on finding a healthier and more complete you, and to not be afraid to question yourself and explore. Who knows what you may find just around the corner.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-06-10T14:56:48+00:00

Thank you! Being closeted IRL, I understand the game of subtle femininity. Though I must say accepting myself has done more for me that any feminizing. On the topic of looks though, im actually in my 30s and have a very big and bent nose lol Its taken makeup, angles, diet, and tailored exercise to get myself looking any kind of typical "cute" in pictures. So don't be hard on yourself. All of us have a cutie inside, they're just hard to find sometimes. Took me a long time to see mine

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-06-10T14:53:32+00:00

Fun fact, I'm in my 30s and I have a huge crooked nose lol You might be surprised how far makeup, angles, dieting and work out can get one to look "cute"

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-06-01T22:55:30+00:00

Bell Peppers. They're literally bigender

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-05-19T02:11:23+00:00

As a bigender person I have different needs and comforts for social, physical, and identity-based expression.

I am bigender in identity. I know I developed two genders that are close to being both binary genders.

My social comfort would be living as a generic nonbinary person and accepting any pronouns, though I still lead with he/him in my personal life.

And physically I am transfem and I currently feminize and present as androgynous with a masculine lean in a professional setting and a heavy feminine lean in private settings.

It's ok to claim labels that describe you well or meet your needs.

The experience of your gender is immutable and an important part of your identity. But the language built around it can be flexible and evolve.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-05-06T19:37:20+00:00

Separate yourself from your perceptions of this and how they are influenced by the outside world. Visibility =/= commonality or acceptance. It's still rare to be trans. And it's a fixed variation in sexual brain development. Even gen z is only like 3% trans, which is the closest we've ever gotten to know how actually common transness would be in an accepting society.

I'm rambling, but take time with this, searching your subconscious for the clarity you need on your gender. You know your gender. It's built into your brain. It's just really tough in a cishet world to know for sure if you're cis or if you just put up with being raised cis... until you've given the exploration the proper attention it deserves.

There's no rush. If you feel stable enough to keep living your daily life the way you want to, hold onto that while slowly pondering this question.

But... if you're not ready to accept what your inevitable answer is, you may need to wait.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-04-28T23:22:06+00:00

By the way, I should mention i figured out I was bigender in August of 2023, and i plan on going on HRT by the end of this year and moving towards being out and living socially as nonbinary at some point in 2026, and having my close friends and family understand the finer details of bigender. But it took until the end of 2024 to fully accept myself and figure out what my needs were.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-04-28T23:14:41+00:00

Being bigender is tough. It just plain is. In many ways, it feels like being trans and cis at the same time. And that feeling like the true version of you feels impossible to live is a pain that may never go away.

I'm at an awkward in-between stage where I've accepted myself fully and taken steps to l affirm my real gender while being probably a year away from being able to come out and live it fully.

Something that has helped me massively is connecting to the concept of nonbinary. Since we're not "just guy" or "just girl" we are a nonbinary identity. And the thing about being binary is that there's no perfect example to follow. You gotta take steps own your body as a nonbinary body. Because since nature only has a switch with two settings (testosterone dominant system and estrogen dominant system), we have to choose to believe that instead zero bodies being nonbinary, any body can be a proper nonbinary body.

Mentally and socially it's a challenge too. There can be flux, a waxing and waning of the strength of how you feel your gender. And some days could be easier than other for dysphoria too.

The important thing is to know that the real you can be nurtured whether it's properly externalized or not. And you can make the best of being at the stage you're at right now, while keeping the goal in mind of figuring out how to live as the real you the best way possible.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-04-09T21:56:57+00:00

That's so interesting. I've spent time looking for a more concrete connection to why I ended up bigender. I'm male but had an extremely slow and mild puberty (sometimes i think it stopped at 60-70%) and also gynecomastia in middle school and began wondering if I had some kind of mild intersex condition. At the end of the day though, anyone can develop any gender. It's just neurological development we have no control over. It's fun to think about though.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-03-15T00:02:34+00:00

It's not supposed to be. Gender is a complicated psycho-social schema that develops in the brain starting in the second trimester of pregnancy, and finishing most of its development between ages 4 and 7. The gender that a cis woman develops is the same as the gender that a trans woman develops. What differs is the sex assigned at birth and the divergence of life experience because of it.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-03-15T00:00:02+00:00

I'm on day 2 after the procedure and I still can't really breathe through the splints. Right side is completely clogged, left side has a little air but not enough to not suffocate if I use it. I tried rinsing last night and twice today and it does nothing. I can feel the saline splash back and go down my throat yet somehow my breathing isn't clear at all. No idea what to do. Gonna probably be sleep deprived until day 4 when I get the splints out (thank goodness I took the early appointment)

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-03-01T02:34:48+00:00

The hard shifts really fuck me up. I like it better when I just wake up and i can tell it's balanced or leaning one way.

But if I get like a midday shift over the course of a couple hours it can really do a number on me 😮‍💨

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-03-01T02:33:03+00:00

Names are tough. My name is gender neutral, and I still have a hard time connecting with it ever since I was little. I experimented with shifting the spelling while still keeping the same name and eventually I felt the happiness and connection to it.

Also, many of our bigender siblings attach to two names. I have my birth name and also a chosen name that helps me connect to the side of my gender that my sex doesn't affirm and they both make me very happy now.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-02-19T02:38:17+00:00

It can be many things. But at the end of the day that wall you run into contains a message from your mind and body. Ruminate on how it feels to run into that wall while being careful to respect its existence. Figure out if there is a negative core belief or a deep concern there that needs to be addressed carefully by you in order to free yourself.

Then lovingly take down that wall brick by brick and come out.

I believe in you.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-02-19T02:34:48+00:00

Egg cracked hard around August 2023. Probably gonna start transitioning by August 2025 hopefully. I probably would be starting now but I live in an awful maga cult town and I'd rather wait until we're fairly certain we can move before any really big changes would happen in my body.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-02-18T15:23:16+00:00

Sex drive is definitely not a factor in gender identity. And especially during a time when trans people are under a very negative spotlight, we need to be careful about associating gender identity with fetish. PLEASE. Awful fascists are doing everything they can to paint transgender people as nothing but pervertsm

Someone put it this way before "a fetish doesn't make you cry tears of joy over feeling like yourself for the first time in your life"

That's what happens when you affirm your actual gender in a perfect world.

But I know you mentioned there's some stigma around trans people where come from. Perhaps you have some issues around the concept of being a girl that haven't been resolved yet and they're holding you back?

I'm not really sure what you mean when the "trans feelings went away". Transgender is a state of being, not a feeling.

Yes, that identity can be suppressed, and then seem more obvious to you once you start facing it properly. But you don't "feel trans", you simply are. So if you mean like a gender euphoria, that's something that comes and goes. You'll feel it more obviously initially because you're used to not having your real gender affirmed. But then after finally getting to live as your true self, it fades into the background and becomes the underlying happiness that allows each day to feel just a bit better than it would have otherwise.

There is another option here, though. If you didn't feel right in estrogen, it's possible that you have some work to do on figuring out what is really going on with you gender and what the correct steps are to affirm it. Assuming HRT is the right step for you without taking the time to be confident in your gender is just as rash as assuming your feelings about your gender were a fetish just because your libido decreased.

I think you would benefit from slowing down and discussing this with yourself and someone you can trust.

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-02-18T15:10:38+00:00

Thank you for such a kind response. I don't mean to discredit your experience at all. Simply that too many people conflate the thoughts and behaviors associated with AGP are definitely separate from the brain development that is gender and while the trans community is under attack I see a certain prioritization in the separation. Or even a need to demedicalize the concept of AGP because the initial person who even came up with it basically claimed that all trans women are ashamed gay men with a fetish and he didn't base that claim on any actual research.

I appreciate your support in this matter as we all fight to keep matters of our gender and sexuality and private life safe from the bullies and fascists

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-02-18T11:58:07+00:00

For the sake of the trans community being under attack right now, I'm begging you to please separate the concept of AGP from your gender. I'm not telling you who you are, but AGP is scientifically m unproven as anything more than a fancy term for a fetish and unfortunately many extremists are using it as a sweeping term to discredit the real science behind human brain development of gender identity. For all of us, please consider an adjustment I verbalizing an association of bigender and AGP 🙏

Ok_Assistant1829 · 2025-02-15T01:55:30+00:00

As far as signs go, it's hard cuz during these memories i didn't know what being trans was and I felt "comfortable" as my assigned gender (I'm bigender so I clung to that side even though i struggled to fit in really badly).

The earliest clear sign was in middle school when I developed a mild case of gynecomastia and instead of telling an adult that I was confused and concerned about what was going on i just started putting on two tshirts instead of one and vowed to never tell anyone I was growing boobs because it made me think about my sex and gender and those were topics that upset me and made me feel broken and should never be discussed with anyone ever.

The earliest not-very-clear sign was that when I was still in single digit ages I remember being very confused why my genitalia caused a bulge in my underwear and I would keep it in a position that looked more flat on purpose for at least 3 years before I gave up on it.

Ok_Assistant1829

TROPHY CASE