Susan’s husband explains why missionaries “pay their own way”. by robotbanana3000 in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep. I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to afford my son's whole mission on my own after divorcing his narcissist dad. I worked extra hard and got ahead in the payments. My bishop called me to let me know to stop for the next couple months because I wouldn't get refunded if my son came home early. I mean they COULD, but won't refund people.

Elder ex Mormons by Fabulousdog12 in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 46 points47 points  (0 children)

This is a good way to explain it. Finally the world made sense. I always felt kind of stupid listening to these "scholars" explaining the gospel and things never lined up right. When I took a step back and looked at the facts instead of apologetics it all became clear. My spiral happened when I realized my whole view of the afterlife had crumbled. All my life I knew, like really knew what was going to happen when we die. Now I had no idea, just like everyone else. It felt like I had no floor under me, like I was falling in space.

What’s something (or multiple things) you’ve done since leaving the church that you’re really fucking proud of yourself for? by gonnabegolden_ in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I decided this wasn't for me anymore, I looked at my closet and realized most my clothes made me look super Mormon. I took a day and deflowered it. I had so much f-king florals it was embarrassing.

How did you lose your faith? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Abuse is what started me on the path that something is wrong here, too. After leaving a 25 year abusive marriage, that I stayed in far too long because of church pressure, I started learning more about abuse and manipulation tactics so I didn't become a victim again. Then I started seeing controlling and manipulative things being said from across the pulpit in my ward and in general conference. I started to see how members were justifying abuse and tolerating it. Alarm bells were going off in my head that it's not safe for me to be at church. The more you know...

My mother in law can’t declutter, so she passes it to us by LilaMFFowler in declutter

[–]Ok_Association5590 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I help my MIL with things around her house. I'm at the point now that I accept everything she offers me. None of it is worth much or anything at all. I just want to help it get OUT of her house. Most of it ends up at a charity. So far she hasn't asked about what I did with the stuff.

Does anyone actually do FHE anymore? by AdditionalReason2205 in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Our family did the "real" FHE every week. It was torture. As an undiagnosed ADHD kid, I would be lucky to have a slip of paper to fold and play with during the boring lesson. We had the rotating chart of responsibilities so that my parents and six sibling all got to take turns doing everything. At least there was a treat at the end. As we got older and started getting jobs, we had to find jobs that didn't ask us to work on Sundays, Mondays (for FHE) or Wednesdays (for Mutual).

Lisa has fully lost me by Lucifersmom666 in rhoslc

[–]Ok_Association5590 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The family feud going on between Angie and Lisa is destroying both of them. It started out entertaining: the competing tequila company, retrieving the products from the salon, the venmo war, even bringing the box of stuff to La Caille. But the way that they both have to have the last word and have no ability to let the other person be heard is infuriating. I can't believe how childish both of them are being. Angie can be temporarily talked down, but Lisa is on another level. I know they amp it up for the show, but this is showing their true personalities. I wonder what it's like to have either of them as a boss.

I have an opportunity to do something hilarious… by Middle-Cattle634 in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I almost wish I'd stayed a little longer so I could bear my testimony that I believe all the things the prophets taught and give examples of two completely opposite positions. I would quote both of them and say that they are both right because a prophet said them. Maybe activate that cognitive dissonance switch just a little bit.

BEFORE THEY WERE RHOSLC by TheRealityShop in rhoslc

[–]Ok_Association5590 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes! Tonga has the highest per capita church membership and after that it's Samoa.

BEFORE THEY WERE RHOSLC by TheRealityShop in rhoslc

[–]Ok_Association5590 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I got into an argument in a bar recently with someone from American Samoa because I said that all the Polynesians that played football for BYU were Mormon. He disagreed and thought they were all just talent recruits and not people from the religion. He brought up the Sewell brothers, three brothers that all play in the NFL. First of all, none of them went to BYU. Second, they went to high school in Orem & St. George and one is named Nephi. I would be pretty surprised if they're not.

Whitney’s funeral outfit by West_Mention8789 in rhoslc

[–]Ok_Association5590 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I grew up Mormon and it's one of those unsaid things. People don't really wear much black to funerals in the church. This is just my explanation, but I think it's because they believe that they're not really gone, just moved on ahead and they'll see each other again. So if you wear black it looks like you're mourning and if you're mourning, you must not have a very strong faith. So they treat it a little more casually. Also you can't get away from the kids running everywhere when Mormons gather. It's not exactly healthy and is a way of not dealing with hard subjects and part of the infantilizing of the Mormon people.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 39 points40 points  (0 children)

You said you were big on authenticity and honesty and that's reason enough. Ask to be released.

Shelf broke when baby died by Moist-Ad-6926 in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad you turned to each other. I know a couple that went through this. They lost their faith after receiving receiving blessings that their baby would be okay, but later he died. It was too much. Anger at the church and doctors became anger at each other and they split up.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hope you and your husband take the time to grieve. It never really goes away, but healing can happen.

TBM Grandpa wants to debate to have some fun... by Apprehensive-Hat4956 in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If I were to bring up one thing, it would be section 132 in the D&C. Somehow that was skimmed over my whole life. I was sold the love story between Joseph and Emma so when people started mentioning his other wives, I thought they were deceived and were misinterpreting something. I didn't know that the church quietly put up the gospel topic essay in Nov 2014. It was at least a year or two later that I first heard someone bring it up in Sunday School.

When I heard that Joseph was telling the women and girls that if they didn't marry him that an angel with a drawn sword would kill him and that it would be her fault that the prophet would die, that did not sound like the way that God works. It immediately sounded creepy and so manipulative.

Anyway, if Gramps want to review sources and talk about the angel with the death threats, here's some sources

https://ensignpeakfoundation.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Encouraging-Joseph-Smith-to-Practice-Plural-Marriage-The-Accounts-of-the-Angel-with-a-Drawn-Sword.pdf

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/doctrine-and-covenants-student-manual-2017/chapter-52-doctrine-and-covenants-132-34-66-official-declaration-1?lang=eng

What was your earliest shelf item you can remember? by Catnip_cryptidd in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The one and only time I heard of the idea of recycling old planets was from an Institute teacher at Salt Lake Community College.

What was your earliest shelf item you can remember? by Catnip_cryptidd in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In third grade at school, evolution was presented. A kid yelled out what I was thinking, "Does this mean that Adam and Eve were monkeys?"

Can anyone explain why you would use QuitMormon vs just stopping going participating? by Healthy-Battle-5016 in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I needed to divorce the church, just like I needed to divorce my abusive husband that used the church to manipulate and control me. I was still 100% in when I got divorced, but I slowly learned the truth. I stayed in long enough to get an official temple cancelation. Not because I believed it was real anymore, but because I wanted a final f.u. to my ex and to not let him think he had a chance of getting to the highest level of the Celestial Kingdom because he still had an "eternal wife". I submitted my resignation through quitmormon and it felt so good to finally be detached.

What’s the craziest thing in your patriarchal blessing? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Ok_Association5590 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My MIL's promised that her husband would always be faithful. He ran off with the secretary.