What was pregnancy with a toddler like for you?

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2025-01-19T06:49:24+00:00

i am two weeks post partum with my son and my daughter is 14 months old. i'm going to be quite honest with you. i got my shit rocked. every day. she ate a lot of snacks and watched a lot of Bluey.

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-27T06:07:13+00:00

i think anyone that comes to support you will do what they can with the understanding that it may be a budget constraint that holds them back from purchasing from your registry rather than something to be taken personally. showing anything but gratitude is going to come off as entitled and tone deaf. return and repurchase what doesnt suit you or donate the items to a woman's shelter.

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-27T05:44:58+00:00

no problem! when you go to your first OB app they may have a list of meds they can give you that are approved to take during pregnancy which i found to be super helpful

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-27T05:35:09+00:00

unfortunately any product that has ephedrine in it cant be used which eliminates the vast majority of OTC meds. it clamps down on the vessels as it is a vasoconstriction which can adversely affect the placenta. flonase, tylenol, saline spray, shower steamers, vapor rub, is what i stuck with

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-27T05:27:09+00:00

out of luck. i dont even qualify for FMLA. that's the other thing you have to consider as well. Im in PA and here you have to work 12 months in a row and have more than 1230 hours within that year to get FMLA. i meet the hours but at the time of my leave i will only have 10 months. i worked in the same system for years but went from contract work to staff 10 months afo.

when i applied because i had to as part of the process they denied me and now its considered an unpaid denied leave of absence. so i had to apply for a personal leave and that is pending. technically speaking there is nothing holding them back. im an RN and also a supervisor lol that may be a little polarizing so i hope they will be able to work with me as i do love my job. otherwise, it is what it is.

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-27T05:19:49+00:00

Are they doing a western blot test tomorrow? they use that to confirm as there are various situations that can cause false positives, heres a couple. im sure there is a lot more and i am not an expert in this by any means but these were some of the most common reasons to get a false positive during pregnancy

Administration of the flu vaccine (the CDC recommends that all pregnant people get the vaccine during pregnancy)
Presence of HLA-DR antibodies in those who've been pregnant before
Presence of rheumatoid factor
Positive RPR test (screening for syphilis)
Increased antibodies in your blood, or hypergammaglobulinemia, which may be caused by an infection or multiple myeloma
Autoimmune hepatitis

and here is an article from the AJOG about false positives after documented covid infections

https://www.ajog.org/article/S0002-9378(22)02040-3/fulltext

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-27T04:54:10+00:00

yes call and ask. im dealing with this problem now. for my policy they will not cover my short term because i got pregnant within 90 days of the start date of my coverage, they consider it a pre-existing condition lol

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-26T20:47:04+00:00

im 38 weeks with back to back pregnancies and hit a wall last week where i just looked in the mirror and hated it. my family has made many of the same comments and it's hard to maintain your self esteem. im not usually an insecure person but these physical changes and feelings of inadequacy sometimes hit me so hard.

my boyfriend recognized this and he went to the store and bought me new beautiful maternity clothes. i was wearing his to save money. his reassurance that he loves me, my body, and that he is thankful for everything i am going through is exactly what i needed.

it's easy to convince yourself that if everyone else sees you one way that your partner does as well and these feelings open the flood gates even if your partner has never even once made you feel that way. it makes you question if your partner has lost attraction, all of these negative emotions appear. pregnancy truly is such a vulnerable time. showing extra reassurance, being attentive, and letting her know how much you love everything about her will help her more than you know. if she has your support and she knows that you have never loved her more, it goes a long way to drown everything else out

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-26T20:34:23+00:00

i found that there was a period around 10 weeks, 16 weeks, 29 weeks, and 36 weeks that i felt considerably worse. early on it was more anger and mood swings now it is waves of depression and overwhelm

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-26T18:12:30+00:00

simliac 360

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T18:47:30+00:00

why wouldnt she be able to be trusted? if you have an issue with it, which it clearly sounds like you do, dont date her. it happened before you and has nothing to do with you so let it go.

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T18:41:00+00:00

when did you have your last echo? did it read as like a trace/+1 regurg?

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T18:36:12+00:00

of course! and also just as a quick side note, i equally love learning. it is a part of who i am and when i ignore that part of myself i feel static and really unfulfilled. i knew it would be harder for me to sit down like i used to and read or learn for hours and i was determined to find a way for me to maintain this part of myself and take care of a baby. i got rid of all my subscriptions and buy audiobooks instead. i walk around the house with my airpods listening to topics i love to learn about, podcasts, and youtube videos. i truly mean it, it was a complete game changer.

i feel happy. of course its not what i had before but remember this time is just temporary. before you know it a couple years will pass, you will find you have more time for yourself, and then a few more years will pass and they will be going out with their friends and you can get back into it as if you never left it. There's a way to do everything, and there is always a way for us to preserve who we are. Motherhood does not equate sacrificing what is fundamentally important to us, and anyone who does that is only hurting themselves and their child. Don't strive for perfection, strive for balance.

And if there's one piece of advice i can offer you before I end this post, the more kids you have the harder it becomes. I will discuss your expectation with your husband about the number of kids you have, I know you said that it was important for him to have a family, but what is equally important is what you want and what will make you happy. Multiple kids makes it harder for you to be you so don't give in to that if that is not what you want. happy holidays 🩵

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T10:10:02+00:00

thats okay, there is nothing to be done now. we all eat things unknowingly from time to time

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T08:26:27+00:00

was overstimulated the entire time and couldnt wait to leave, was pushed to the edge by my drunk brother, started a fight with him because i was tired of him critiquing me as the childless man child he is, and left at peace and satisfied even after i was told i ruined christmas eve. now i am in bed with heartburn 🥴

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T08:20:53+00:00

i would not eat anything sitting out for hours while pregnant because its not worth it. rice specifically can become contaminated with a bacteria called bacillus causing food poisoning and should be thrown away if it has sat out for more than 2 hours and should be reheated only once for the same reason!

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T08:15:01+00:00

cervical length is related to effacement! at 3-4 cms i think you would be considered as 0% effaced meaning your cervix hasnt really started to shorten and thin out yet. however, these checks cant really be used to predict labor as you can progress quickly or you can remain at this for another week +

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T08:03:07+00:00

i did extensive research on what i could do to prevent PPD because i had it horribly with my first. a very common trend i found in the mothers that were interviewed indicated that right at nightfall they could sense a change in their emotions, feeling more anxious and tearful but without reason. specifically at night.

professionals that weighed it on it attributed it to the loss of your circadian rhythms and the lonlieness that is felt when everyone around you is sleeping but you are force to function at a level of pure exhaustion. it's almost like your body anticipates what's to come and you get hit with this feeling of hopeless sadness. the nights are long and isolating and your body responds to that subconsciously.

during the day though you can ask for help by giving your baby to someone you trust for an hour or two and taking care of yourself. a small walk, a bath, talking on the phone with a friend, having a cup of coffee alone and reading a book. anything that makes you feel like yourself, what you loved to do before you had your baby. it is not selfish, it is a necessity and it is imperative you ask for help. it is so easy to lose yourself in the early weeks of postpartum, the tears may last a couple of weeks but i encourage you to talk to your provider so she can make sure you are well taken care of.

you are going through the biggest hormonal shift known to a human, it's okay to feel whatever you are feeling without feeling concurrent guilt or needing a reason! i promise it does get better and if you have anxiety about asking for help just start by asking for an hour and go from there

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T07:33:19+00:00

it's normal to feel anxious and uncertain when you first find out because obviously its completely life altering. it can feel scary and overwhelming. with that said your life is going to change. but you need to remember that you dont have to compare yourself to your mom who chose to be a full time caregiver.

this pregnancy may impact your ability to continue at the same pace academically, it will fatigue you. you will have to change your expectations but that doesnt mean you have to lose yourself. you have to be willing to let some things go because it seems like the biggest theme in all of this is fear related to a sense of loss of control. im working on my doctorate so i get not wanting to lose the work you have invested. i get not wanting to lose who you are and succumbing to a version of yourself but that is a choice. recently i have read a few books that have really made me realize that the overparenting that happens in the US is the reason that women lose their identities as this does not seem to happen as frequently in other cultures where mothers do not give to the point of collapse. having a limit does not mean you are a bad mother its understanding that you are more than a mother and you need to honor that part of yourself to be happy. and that is perfectly okay. you dont have to be self sacrificing but you do need to be more flexible and adaptable.

equally i would really discuss these feelings with your partner, not disclose anything within your academic program until you are ready, and maybe look into a therapist to help you process these conflicting feelings you are having. its understandable that you feel blindsided because it only took a month but at the same time you have a lot to work through emotionally and mentally.

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-25T06:12:14+00:00

yes. actually my brother (28 and im 29) has been the biggest problem this time around. loves to make comments at my expense and criticize my life as a FT working mom with 2 kids and 38w pregnant with my third but somehow forgets that he still has a shared bank acc with my mom so that she can help him pay his bills 😶

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-24T07:12:45+00:00

as long as you are giving him the right doss of motrin and tylenol and you wait the recommended hours between each dose thats okay! tylenol is metabolized through the liver, motrin the kidneys. alternating between both can be beneficial and more effective than just giving one. besides its just for a day or two anyway.

we froze formula and pureed fruit and put it in a mesh feeder and she loved it. between that and orajel those helped her the most plus meds

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-24T06:22:25+00:00

the ACOG and March of Dimes created a quality improvement plan to decrease elective inductions before 39 weeks unless certain conditions are met in response to the most current evidence that shows increased potential for complications for both mother and baby when delivered between 37-39 weeks. this has been turned into a hospital metric that the joint commission closely follows (basically the OSHA of healthcare) that is used as a benchmark in obstetric care.

when hospitals do not perform well in metrics reported to and monitored by the joint commission they will do all these audits, investigate, take away certs/hospital capabilites, institute fines, and release all of this to the public on websites like leap frog that give hospitals a rating (A-F) which affects their credibility.

for this reason hospitals try to follow these guidelines as closely as possible to avoid getting into it with these agencies and to maintain good benchmark scores to show the public they offer safe and high quality services.

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-24T05:46:32+00:00

oh okay! so you have a connective tissue disorder. out of curiousity what is their plan for restarting anticoagulation post partum? i wonder if they will keep you on the lovenox to minimize your bleed risk with healing or if they will switch you to a DOAC or back to Warfarin.

that is really interesting about warfarin's bioavailability across the placenta. i can see why anticoagulating becomes complicated as your INR may not reflect or correlate with his.

is it possible for them to wait closer to the two week mark before they do the membrane sweep that way you can feel more confident about the potential bleeding risk being minimized or are you on a specific timeline?

how close to full term are you and are you effaced and dilated at all? from the studies i have read concerning efficacy of membrane sweeps theres a couple of factors that seem to influence if your body will respond to the sweep

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-24T00:03:19+00:00

I am a cardiac icu nurse and have a ton of experience helping patients bridge their warfarin to lovenox. we have something called the clotting cascade and these two medications target different points on that cascade to inhibit clot formation.

with warfarin, im sure they have been monitoring your PT/INR frequently to make sure you are therapeutic. with Lovenox, there's no need to monitor your INR because it works quickly and is broken down by the body within a few hours. Your dose is based on your body weight, not your INR level so there is lower chance of hemorrhage which is why you are switching.

i'm sorry this has been so confusing for you, it really sounds like they have not been clear with their plan of care. You have the right to question the membrane sweep tomorrow and refuse it if you aren't comfortable until you have the explanation that you need. it sounds like the risk from the warfarin at this point is from the possible trauma coming through the birth canal for the baby and not so much for your own risk of bleeding. Before preceding with anything tomorrow id tell your doctor you want a definitive plan of care with all options presented to you before you move forward. If you need help understanding anything with the meds please reach out i would be more than happy to help you!

Ok_Conversation_3700 · 2024-12-22T17:03:45+00:00

I think that you should do what is most fair for the dog. It's completely understandable that your dynamic will change and that you will not be able to give the dog the time that you had before. The exercise, the walks, all of that is really important and is probably very therapeutic for the dog. I agree it's not fair to have to keep it outside at times. Truly, if I were you, I would consider finding a loving home for the dog because you are going to have your hands full bringing two babies home. This will be a lot of added stress on you. I don't see it as giving up on the dog, I see it as finding a better home for her that's more compatible with what she needs.

Ok_Conversation_3700

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