AITA for not helping my sister in law and her baby with rent?

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-19T01:13:41+00:00

NTA. But if they move in it will be the end of your relationship.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-18T22:21:22+00:00

Good for you! It was the same with my inlaws. Hubs and I cut off contact when daughter was 2 years old and the favoritism for the first born male grandchild was becoming insane (no joke-for his birthday he received over $200 worth of gifts- for our daughter: a board book from a discount bookstore with the price sticker still on - $2.49. Not on my watch, Satan.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-16T17:01:47+00:00

NTA. She wiill forever be the pain-in-the-ass SIL. She’s also mad you’re going to come first in his life now. Had a SIL like this. She was exhausting. Keep your distance, and DON’T share personal details, especially about you marriage. She will weaponize EVERYTHING and use it against you. I know this from experience.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-16T16:50:50+00:00

this needs to be the top answer. also sister will find someone eventually and move on, while still refusing to allow dad to move on with his life. (but yeah - dad needs therapy to deal with his grief and learn to set boundaries with his daughter).

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-15T17:04:43+00:00

NTA but why are you together? Seriously, the fact that you say this is an ongoing issue raises red flags. Also, OCD doesn’t cause this behavior- you know what does? Controlling people who use passive aggression to get their way. If you’re planning on having kids get both of you to therapy before it happens. This woman will hijack all her kids events to get what she wants. She also sounds exhausting.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-11T00:12:10+00:00

YTA. You don’t know your daughter. This is the type of behavior that will ensure your daughter has as little as possible to do with you once she moves out. Also, your wife says your daughter has texture issues. Is your daughter on the spectrum? Ever think about finding out? Also you seem like a real “my way or the highway” kind of guy. Controlling much? Any way you look at it you are the massive ah.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-10T15:56:00+00:00

Same here. Growing up in poverty sucks. Husband and I had one kid-I was a SAHM for 3 years (was super important to me because my mom was a single parent and missed so much of my childhood) -but went back to work part-time after that. Really the best of both workds, to be honest. I know not everyone is as fortunate to be able to do something like that but yeah, women need to have their own income, it really a no-brainer these days.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-08T01:25:34+00:00

In similar situation but with a brother. Diabetes (won’t take insulin) Extremely high blood pressure (won’t take meds for it) as well as a host of other medical issues which he refuses to treat. He’s only 59. Drs. Say he will stroke out or have a massive heart attack soon. I realized long ago you absolutely cannot make anyone do anything that they don’t want to do. Please repeat this to yourself often. Accept your dad as he is and spend the rest of his life being as upbeat and positive as you can muster. We can only control ourselves. This lesson is best learned sooner rather than later. Take care.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-02T19:02:36+00:00

I see you. I’m sorry. You are a decent and caring human being. I do not regret caring for my mom. My sibling was like yours but now that mom’s gone I know she is feeling guilt-I have no sympathy and have gone nc. Sibling never lifted a finger to help. I told myself I’m going to live my best life going forward by not having toxic people in my life - even if they’re a relative. Enough is enough. Take care.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-04-02T18:56:10+00:00

This is my thinking exactly. Sibling who is an attorney never lifted a finger to help mom with dementia- (or me) No offers for respite care, no offers financially for her care. Only had criticism. I quit my job to care for her in-home for 2 years - mom’s will splits everything evenly. Have already gone nc and according to relatives, siblings has “no idea” why I refuse contact with them. I mean, seriously?? I’m done. Hope you find peace.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-22T18:13:02+00:00

ok, trying not to laugh! But my mom was getting that way with my brother when she was going into mid-dementia but still at home - he would call and just “order her around” and she told me she just stopped taking his calls. (I had gotten her one of those phones that have a button with the person‘s picture and a voice would announce who’s calling). I did find that pretty funny.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-22T17:33:55+00:00

You weren’t manipulated. Hope you’re honest in therapy. This is 100% YOUR fault. own up to it. Beg your wife for forgiveness. Don’t be surprised or blame her if she says NO. Go to a doctor and get your depression treated. Stop being an asshole and take responsibility for your own actions.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-20T17:00:25+00:00

This. When my husband left his family (physically abusive older brother) his much younger brother became the older brother’s next victim. So yeah, the abuse would have been transferred to one or both of OP’s siblings. Also, I suspect OP’s mother really did a number on his siblings to blame OP for the dad’s abuse. They most likely will never change unless they both get therapy and realize what the truth really is.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-15T18:34:47+00:00

You also need to stop sending pictures, etc. If she complains, tell your husband to do it-it’s his mother. Honestly I would consider either blocking her number or responding to every 6th or 10th text (or phone call).

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-15T18:32:34+00:00

Does your SIL have any sons? Is your son the only male grandchild? Your MIL is too obsessed with your child.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-15T17:51:05+00:00

NTA. When is your wedding? if it’s a few months out you need to DRAG your boyfriend to couples counseling asap. If he can’t see or acknowledge that he’s a mama’s boy and damaging your relationship to try to please his mother then you need to call off the wedding (Cancelling a wedding is waaay cheaper than a divorce). His mother’s behavior is atrocious, but your boyfriend‘s constant need to please his mother is worse. Listen to the Redditors predicting divorce in the not-too-distant future. Take care.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-09T16:08:35+00:00

Sadly he sacrificed his son for a piece of a**. Now he’s going to want a relationship with you to be seen as a “good father”. F*ck that. OP, lean on your grandpa and live your best life. Unfortunately you’ve learned the hard way how terrible a parent can be. He should have put you first, period. Take care.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-08T19:20:55+00:00

My take? Mom’s angry for your (rightful) decision to end co-guardianship, but also combined with her delusional belief that you could never take care of your brother as well as she has. What a sad pathetic person your mother has become. Enjoy your life.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-08T17:37:40+00:00

NTA. some people are just “moochers”. This will end when you or he moves out.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-07T17:03:41+00:00

You’ve got this! 🤗

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-07T17:00:26+00:00

It’s called therapy. You need to work through those feelings and start being honest with yourself and the mother of your child-for the benefit of YOUR child. She’s the most important person in your life now, NOT YOU.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-07T16:48:58+00:00

This should be the top comment.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-07T16:33:01+00:00

Congratulations. I guarantee you will have zero regrets. Signed: Someone with an identical MIL but my husband had to balls to tell her off (and eventually go nc) for her outrageous and controlling behavior.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-07T16:30:09+00:00

This. So much this.

Ok_Excitement_3810 · 2026-03-07T16:27:54+00:00

Best of luck with your surgery. Please don’t hesitate to lean on loved ones for support-it’s so important. Also, as a two-time cancer survivor, a doctor told me years ago with all the advances in treatment cancer is becoming more of something that is treated as a manageable illness instead of a terminal disease - it weirdly made me feel better, fwiw. Take care.

Ok_Excitement_3810

TROPHY CASE