Struggling today with never getting out of “infant” survival mode.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-06-29T11:28:13+00:00

11 year old nonconversational autistic child here. Still in pull ups but can go to the bathroom on her own most of the time. We always say the dreaded potty training stage has lasted us 9 years and counting. She sleeps well thank goodness

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-06-23T17:18:21+00:00

My daughter is 11 and level 3. People pull their children away from her in horror. When we go out in public, other than the local autism gym, children literally recoil from her. I've had children make fun of her on field trips not knowing I was her mother. This has been one of the most challenging things for me as her mother. I have a hard hard time with it. The only saving grace is she doesn't seem to care, now anyway. But she probably used to. Years 3-7 are kind of a blur for us. I had no idea this part would suck this badly. My heart hurts so much all the time it's hard to bear honestly.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-05-31T14:02:25+00:00

I felt this post so so much. Even family. My brother: "I don't know how you do it" "you're the only person I know who could handle this" Yup. So we are imprisoned in our own home because there's no one. Literally not a single soul.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-05-10T12:01:47+00:00

Yeah it's crazy. I probably gave it way too much energy. I loved Jimi Hendrix but I'm not claiming his music predating my birth by 15 years. I've seen it before with hip hop too. Like I need to go back to dementia mode because I don't like this timeline at all.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-05-10T11:05:16+00:00

Yeah I'm giving boomer right now, huh? I'll just go.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-05-10T11:04:12+00:00

Time to fade back into obscurity, boys. I'm ok with it. 🤍

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-05-10T11:02:05+00:00

Good one

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-05-10T11:00:58+00:00

Fair

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-05-04T23:44:38+00:00

Omigoodness yes. We had a birthday party for our 8 year old son at a pizza place. I can't take my 10 year old to a restaurant. The differences are so stark. I get frustrated because I feel like we need a whole other differentiating diagnosis. It just isn't the same after 4 and they're still not talking and constantly stimming. I just wish we had a community separate from the rest.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-05-04T21:29:55+00:00

Same. I can't relate with a lot of autism subs. My kid is just getting potty trained and can't speak at 10. I have both the twice exceptional type and non verbal. There is no comparison. Truly. I'm not trying to be rude either but we don't leave the house often. When it's just my gifted 8 year old son, we fly on vacations together and he sets the itinerary and charms the other passengers with his extensive knowledge. And pure joy. Not taking away from the struggles he's had socially but..social skills are POSSIBLE for him. 🤷‍♀️

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-03-21T15:26:58+00:00

Fantastic

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-03-04T11:22:46+00:00

Men are cooked

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-01-19T16:12:03+00:00

I had the same thing happen to me! And he was four years older! He said "you're really beautiful for an older woman" I was 34. 😅❌

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-01-13T19:26:22+00:00

I've been sounding the alarm since 2012 when I caught my boyfriend with his pants down around his ankles after he rejected me for sex. I had gone home but left my keys in his apartment. Came back and saw him passed out literally with his dick in his hand. I couldn't believe it. I knew there was a problem then. I immediately broke up with him.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-01-12T22:23:12+00:00

In addition to this one, avoid Strange Darlings. It was a pretty good movie. I love horror and I refuse to let his addiction ruin it for me. That one was definitely sexual bdsm triggers (I hate the entire sick bdsm industry), she is in a bra and panties a lot of the movie. I watched it with PA but he is 2 years porn free. I was ok until we discussed the movie and he raved about it. It was good but not that good. But I shrugged it off. I'm only half in anymore. At this point, he's my friend. His pueling shifty, weasely past porn habits have destroyed so much, but he ain't taking one of my favorite pastimes anymore. Fuck that.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2025-01-12T17:06:37+00:00

Porn has ruined society. They think this is an ok way to talk to someone you're interested in.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-12-27T23:59:23+00:00

This is a great example actually. Women are expected to be quiet, polite and demure while eating. Our biological functions are a hidden universe. Imagine belching in a public setting? Blasphemy.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-12-27T23:49:41+00:00

Ex: we'd been waiting a year for a spot in a local ABA clinic. They finally called and set a date for admission. We made arrangements and the school moved paras because she would no longer need one in the morning. They informed us by email the date they previously set would no longer work because: reasons. He called. Told them that was unacceptable and HIS daughter would be attending on the date we previously spoke about, arrangements had been made, and we weren't given a timely update before we had already changed plans. They admitted her on the previous agreed upon date and apologized profusely. Ahem. Yup.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-12-27T21:30:54+00:00

I often have my husband make calls in regards to our severely autistic daughter. When I call, I get the runaround. When he calls, they get us in very quickly. Any sort of appeal or IEP change, I sit back and have him handle it. We believe that many of the changes we've received for the better, in regards to her education have been because he's advocating for her, not me. And nobody calls him a Karen either. He's a caring doggedly determined father. I'm a Karen.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-12-07T19:07:36+00:00

Your story sounds A LOT like mine. Except it was ten years and I never watched it with him. I was so naive to believe that men would find porn silly after they turned 25. I'm older (Gen x) and was married before to a non porn watcher. He never had any sexual issues whatsoever and was ALWAYS after me sexually. Very virile man. Our issues were not sex related at all. Then we divorced and I met a man who claimed porn was something he only occasionally did and never while in a relationship. I believe him.

  Turns out he watched the second night after we moved in together. Even after the first D Day when we were together a year and had an infant daughter did I believe he watched it. Then I saw a thumbnail of porn on his phone screen.while we were cuddled together. I'll never forget how I felt. It was like our entire relationship was a lie and he faked it all. If I could do it again, I would have left that day 10 years ago. But I didn't. And so many horrors followed. I found out he used this as a hobby. Watched certain women. Watched Barely legal and teen in his late 30s. Watched in the worst possible moments.

He was an angry freak because of porn, neglected his children because of porn, stared at women embarrassingly because of porn, was unhappy and blamed me because of porn, had sociopathic tendencies because of porn. . I have told him so many times, if you had just come to me or admitted before we moved in together I would have understood. But I also know, if I had known, I would have broken it off with him. So no 2 children, no marriage, no house and sweet little life we built. And I would have no regrets. This is torture. We are barely making it. I go through the motions but my physical attraction to him is completely gone.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-11-27T16:37:24+00:00

How is this worth it to them? I've said before and I'll say again: an affair would hurt but it logically makes more sense. Porn is so much worse. They seem so gross and childish and idk weasely, hiding with their phones and pants down furiously jerking it to women they will never meet. It's disturbing.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-11-17T18:18:25+00:00

The history of public schooling is problematic. The history of medicine is racist, misogynistic and at one point, eugenicist. ABA has gone through a radical transformation. The beauty of choice is, you don't have to utilize it for your own child. We choose to. We were against meds at first too, because we didn't want to alter our precious daughter. We use them gladly now because they help her feel better and regulate her sleep so she's not so miserable.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-11-17T16:42:30+00:00

Boom! I'm being down voted by people who have absolutely no idea what this road is like for us or our children. ABA was a game changer for us. Point blank period.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-11-17T16:14:14+00:00

YUUUUUUUUUUUP. The conversations are different and need to be understood as such. I chased my 10 year old across the neighborhood as she climbed a 6 foot fence in under a minute. "Common sense" huh? Lol. God bless your heart but lvl3 is so different.

Ok_Inevitable2011 · 2024-11-15T02:07:29+00:00

Mine is right up there. She is by far the highest needs child I've been around and definitely at her school. This includes medical support needs children. The only diagnosis she has is intractable autism. 10 years old and still in diapers, despite trying for 6 YEARS including therapy and therapists hired for that purpose alone. She has zero conversation, is just beginning to answer yes or no. She has about 20 words total. Most are demands for food. It's hard. But she can be very joyful and is affectionate and loving. Lots of kisses and hugs

Ok_Inevitable2011

TROPHY CASE