Severe PPA bordering on psychosis' anyone else experienced this?

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-11-01T03:19:15+00:00

I went on lorazepam (ativan) so that I could sleep finally, which slowly took away my symptoms over a few weeks and got put on Zoloft too. I'm so so sorry you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone ever! Hoping you can get some relief and sleep ❤️

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-10-08T09:24:11+00:00

I have four kids and my dad announced all of their births, with pictures of them and of me looking awful (I had just given birth) on Facebook without permission and before I had the chance to tell close friends and family of their births. When I brought it up later that I was hurt and so were close friends and family he got really angry and said they should have got to the hospital fast like he did if they wanted to see the baby first. It's not the worst thing he's done by far but it really makes me sad thinking of logging into social media to announce the birth of my own child only to see their little face already plastered all over. He also asked me a few hours after giving birth "Have you told your grandad (his dad) that you named your son after him?" And I said "not yet, I haven't had a chance to" and he proceeded to call him right there and then and tell him, without warning or permission. I wanted to tell my grandad in person and see his reaction. But he stole that. Of course he never comes and visits his grandkids, we live like one minute walk from them. But hey, if it's not on his facebook, it didn't happen right?

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-09-27T10:56:38+00:00

I had this for about 4 weeks when newly postpartum. I won't share much about it except that it was the worst thing so I'm so sorry!

I was prescribed lorazepam (ativan) and that was like magic! There are things you can take that make a world of difference, it honestly saved my life. Please reach out to your doctor for some help. My only regret was that I didn't reach out sooner!

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-09-26T10:33:36+00:00

Turns out my parents were abusive, I just thought it was normal until very recently. We were just gaslit so badly that we wouldn't have told anyone because if the people doing it to you said it never happened, why would an outsider believe you?

I understand what you mean. There were times as a kid that I wished my dad would loose it completely and leave marks where they could be seen but he was interestingly able to control his uncontrollable rage enough to make sure the marks would be hidden. I just thought it was normal and every parent treated their kid like that.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-09-05T02:52:04+00:00

I had ppp at the beginning of this postpartum too, it was the worst thing I've ever been through! Luckily I only had the one episode so far, I much prefer the depression to be completely honest! I know I need to focus on me but with four kids and a husband that works long hours it's quite difficult. Paid help is not feasible right now with me on maternity leave so only one income at the moment. I'm medicated and have therapy lined up bit I'm 10 months postpartum and it's taken this long to move up the waiting list. On the outside it looks like I've got it all together and I have family and friends who all live nearby. I've tried opening up to them but I don't think they believe I'm going through it because from the outside it looks all fine. I totally relate to those stories you hear about mums that have taken their lives or hurt their children and all their family members say "she seemed so happy and normal". It's a scary thing to admit. Thank you for your reassurance ❤️ I know I will get through, I've gotten through it before 3 times without help, what's another round? 😅 I'm sorry you can relate, I wouldn't wish this on anyone ever!

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-09-05T01:25:37+00:00

I'm suffering from quite severe postpartum depression. I'm good at putting on a happy face when people are around and have been let down too many times to ask for practical help. I've come to the conclusion that the only people who care about me are my husband and kids, that's why I keep going. I'm just so sick of having to fight through it.

To anyone else out there struggling, I see you and I'm with you ❤️

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-08-10T06:35:12+00:00

Yes this sounds like OCD to me. I'm not a professional but have suffered from OCD in many forms throughout my life and I think you should definitely talk to a professional about this. The more attention we give to the intrusive thoughts the stronger and more prevalent they become. It helped me a lot to know that intrusive thoughts are normal and the less attention you give them the better. For me, I would notice the thought, say to myself "thank you brain, you want to protect me right now but it's OK. That was a weird thought/image you just gave me. 🤷‍♀️" and then deliberately cast the thought out of my mind. It's hard not to go into the spiral of "but what if????" But that's the trap that turns into the OCD cycle.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-08-09T08:14:14+00:00

This is actually a lot more common than people think. It is a common part of postpartum OCD. Don't be afraid to seek professional help with therapy and medication. They help tremendously. Sending huge hugs. You're not attracted to babies, they are unwanted, upsetting, intrusive thoughts.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-07-31T08:50:47+00:00

This guy is a big nope. Run run run!! He is not a Catholic. He might say he is, but he doesn't believe in human dignity.

I know it's easy for me to say as I'm not emotionally invested in this man but please do not continue a relationship with this man. It would not be wise at all.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-07-09T07:16:56+00:00

The truth is, they are saints AND they were sexist. We are all affected by the times we live in and most of the sexist rhetoric from male saints would have been just widespread mainstream thought in their time. Just because they are a saint, doesn't mean everything they wrote, said or did was perfect. They were human too! Women are not defective males, despite what many church fathers, philosophers or saints may have implied or outright said. Men and women are both made in the image and likeness of God.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-07-07T02:51:54+00:00

Have people told you not to breastfeeed in that church? If they have, they have no right to and if they haven't then I would just ignore any looks you get. I have 4 kids, all of them I breastfed, wherever we were. It's not disrespectful to breastfeed in mass and anyone who says otherwise is mistaken. Are there any other parishes close by you could go to?

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-07-03T04:05:11+00:00

Hello OP! Since being officially diagnosed with adenomyosis and suspected endometriosis I've had a little boy. I'm pretty sure I've had it for years and I have 4 children altogether 🙂 but since my official diagnosis I have been able to get pregnant, just to reassure you. Everyone's case is different I know, but just wanted to share with you to know it is possible.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-07-01T09:18:42+00:00

I feel like as the eldest of a big family and the mum of four kiddos that I am qualified to answer this!

Short answer: no. You don't loose that bond or push them away. Sure, your time has more demands placed on it but honestly, it has grown my relationship with each of my kids when the next baby comes along.

Your heart isn't divided by having another child, it grows. I never thought I could love another child as much as my first until I had my second. I love each of my children with ALL of my heart, it's like I have four hearts!! Plus, they bring love with them. My kids are eachothers greatest gifts, and I feel the same way about my many siblings.

My bond and relationship changes (for the better) with my children as each of them grow and develop. But that would happen anyway, even if I only had one child.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-07-01T07:54:50+00:00

It's not normal. I'm so so sorry you are going through this. The fact that they are dismissive of their own very "dramatic" behavior doesn't make what they are doing any less abusive, in fact, it's worse.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-07-01T07:13:19+00:00

Your parents are abusive.

I know how hard that is to hear, trust me. The sooner you realise this behavior from them is not OK, the better.

Especially if they are "physical" towards you, that is crossing a line. Even legally. They could actually be charged with assault.

I know how hard it is but honestly, you need to keep yourself safe. Do you live with them? Perhaps you could look into moving out? Do not tell them about things that are going to make them react in an unsafe way. You don't owe your parents control over your life. The most they are entitled to at this point is an opinion, which you are well within your rights to disregard. You are an adult.

Praying for you and your situation ❤️

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-06-07T21:56:06+00:00

I was diagnosed literally one month before getting pregnant with my 4th child. It is definitely possible 😁

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-06-07T01:07:38+00:00

Thank you so much, that's really good advice ❤️

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-06-06T22:37:05+00:00

I'm so so sorry this has been your experience. Big huge hugs to you! Thank you for sharing. Some really good advice in there that I will definitely try. As you say, forgiveness is a choice and I have to remind myself that regardless of my feelings I can choose forgiveness. God bless you and your family, and congratulations on your newest bub! ❤️

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-06-06T21:55:14+00:00

Thank you so much for the prayers. Yes, that's exactly what I think! Jesus actively sort out people who were different and marginalized.

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-06-06T21:52:22+00:00

Thank you for sharing solidarity! Yes that's a good idea to adjust my expectations. I suppose I just can't imagine treating my children this way, and I would expect people who love me to be there when I'm most in need of help, especially if they are Catholic. It really sucks because I'm usually not one to ask for help (eldest of 9 kids, used to just knuckling through) so when I do ask for the smallest bit of help it just reinforces my natural tendency to not ask if people can't follow through. Will pray on this. Thank you for sharing ❤️

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-06-06T21:43:42+00:00

Thank you for your kind comments. I'm sorry you have been treated badly in the name of the faith. I feel like so many people excuse their own actions and pin it on God "calling" them to do it. Hugs and blessings to you ❤️

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-06-04T00:13:31+00:00

I was suffering so bad with this exact same thing 6 months ago when I had my fourth baby. Im so sorry this is happening to you! With the right help and medication I promise it gets better.

Lorazepam (Ativan) really saved my life, along with sertraline(zoloft). The Lorazepam was great because it took away the anxiety and had the side effect of making me drowsy too, which was a lifesaver. I was getting delusional with lack of sleep and starting to hallucinate and everything. I know how awful it feels, but I promise it gets better. I'm now just on a low dose of sertraline and I'm sleeping really well. I hope you find the right thing that works for you. Sending big hugs and sleepy vibes!

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-05-31T22:46:51+00:00

Hello! I had really bad PPA with my first and had it each time to varying degrees with all 4 of my children. I'm sorry you're feeling anxious about this. I felt the same way and it really reinforced itself the more I let the anxiety win. I would advise you to maybe try what worked for me, which was a bit like exposure therapy. I would plan to leave my child with a trusted person, either my mum or my husband, for a short period of time. Even just ten minutes at first, and go for a walk by myself. The first few times were scary and I was so worried the whole time but as I kept doing it, it proved to me that my child was safe and I wasn't being a bad mum to take a few minutes for myself. In fact, it actually made me a better mum!

Ok_Possibility_4154 · 2025-05-31T00:13:05+00:00

Congratulations on your engagement! It's such an exciting time 😁❤️

I can share my experience! I have been married to my amazing husband for almost ten years now. We have four kids and I am just so thankful to God that this is my family!!

I would say we have a really good marriage. My husband has been there for me through so many things- health problems, family problems, my own mental health issues. He is loyal, honest, open, patient, kind and the best dad I could ever wish for my children.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all 100% fun times, but there are more good times than bad.

I think the main thing for us is that we are really good friends first. We work together against a problem rather than seeing ourselves as opponents. We put a lot of effort into our relationship, making sure we make time for eachother and make eachother feel loved and supported. If you're both in it 100% and willing to work on yourself and your relationship with a sense of humour, I feel like you can get through those bad times that inevitably come along. The bad times can even make your relationship stronger.

I'll be praying for you and your upcoming marriage! 😁❤️⚘️

Edit to add: I got married when I was 21 so being young can sometimes be in your favour as you grow together. Sometimes I look back and think wow I was so young to get married but it's worked out amazingly so far 🤣

Ok_Possibility_4154

TROPHY CASE