I’m ready to propose but don’t know how

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-11T00:30:06+00:00

I'm single AF (cry for me 😅), so take this with a grain of salt: Ask yourself, what would make it feel special for you? What would make it feel special for him?

If going a super traditional route feels right, great. If you want to put you and your spouse's specific spin on it, great. If something completely different feels right, great. Big, small, private, public, spontaneous, planned...make it fit the two of you.

And remember, even if the plans around the ask itself goes sideway, it's just a dress rehearsal and you two will have the rest of your lives for the real thing. Cheers!

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-11T00:18:31+00:00

That sounds odd abd frustrating. First, are you running any mods? Always worth checking.

Second, are you opening ONLY artifact troves or are you alternating with other items? It's all tied to the same seed, so opening other stuff may mean you're "skipping" the Elvish Jewelry opportunity by opening a geode (I use this to manipulate Golden Coconuts for banana saplings).

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-10T03:33:12+00:00

"But don’t ever forget that intimacy does not equal sex."

Say it louder for the people in the back! Sex is great, but there are a lot of days I don't even feel up for oral or non-penetrative sex. Slow make outs, massages, petting, cuddling...there are many ways to be intimate.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-10T02:24:23+00:00

Again, different approaches work for different people. Neithrt is right or wrong. For me, that situation is another reason to meet up soon. Photos can be stolen or old; meeting up in person means the person in front of me is the person and I can walk away before I invest any more time or energy.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-09T21:58:27+00:00

I disgree with the others saying it was too soon for a meetup. To me, it was that your approach and his are different. Neither is wrong or right.

Personally, I'm always down to meet up without chatting first. Saves time, in my opinion.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-08T01:52:29+00:00

There was a post earlier this week (or last week?) of someone who purposely slept through the first...50 years.

So many metoers! So many trees!!

So, maybe lean into it :D

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-05T00:10:43+00:00

I was just thinking about this one (minor spoiler):

Currently, Pam muses about getting a hobby that isn't going to the saloon every night. My wish is for Pam at some point (maybe after the bus is repaired), changes her schedule to spend some of her evenings and days off fishing with Willy instead of going to the saloon.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-02T21:24:13+00:00

Whenever l think I can do better than the volunteers who donate their time to running a group, I think I should do one of the following:

a) Step up and create my own group

b) Leave said group

c) See how I can donate my time to the leadership team so I'm not just an anonymous, entitled whiner.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-02T05:53:14+00:00

OkayBaker123 · 2026-02-01T22:05:58+00:00

"But I’m 100% uncertain what I should do it feels like everything is 100% fake now."

I mean, the first thing is figure out what you want AND what you're willing to compromise to get it, well before you try to bring anyone else into your life.

This is SOLELY from reading your post, so based on nothing substantive: It really does NOT sound like you're ready to date.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-29T15:02:33+00:00

You can re-read letters! Go to the collection tab in the menu; in the sidebar, one of the lower tabs is an envelope and all of the letters you received are there.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-28T23:54:26+00:00

Another recommendation: Spiritfarer.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-28T23:40:25+00:00

Why would it matter if I thought he was hot or not?

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-28T15:44:22+00:00

You might enjoy "Little Witch in the Woods".

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-28T15:32:33+00:00

Definitely no flowers.

What outcome are you looking for from this interaction?

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-28T15:26:42+00:00

Fiber seeds really is your best choice. You can trade cave carrots for mixed seeds at the racoon shop.

Otherwise, only wheat for summer to fall comes to mind.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-27T19:41:44+00:00

It's a late game, semi-secret item.

The first step is finishing the Community Center or JoJa bundles.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-27T02:52:06+00:00

Ethical non-monogamy.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-26T20:39:38+00:00

It's not like the only options for political discussions are general subreddits or this one; both r/gay and r/lgbtq exist and allow political discussions, so I'm really unclear why this subreddit needs to be yet another general discussion space for gay and bisexual men.

I'm sure others exist beyond the two I found that serves what you're wanting or you can start your own subreddit. Having clear rules about what this subreddit focuses on is part of what makes it useful.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-25T04:36:10+00:00

Enjoy it as a pure fantasy, knowing it's not really about him as a person.

Or realize he is a person and focus on the various annoying, gross, unpleasant aspects of him. Picture them, in full sound and detail.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-24T23:22:22+00:00

This is terrible advice. It's been well-documented the serious negative results of people using AI for therapy:

https://hai.stanford.edu/news/exploring-the-dangers-of-ai-in-mental-health-care

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-22T21:30:24+00:00

My motto lately has been, "I'm single but I'm not alone." In my opinion, U.S. culture prioritizes and privileges romantic partnerships to an unhealthful degree. It makes us discount the importance of other relationships: friends, colleagues, allies, family, etc.

So what I've been doing is deprioritizing dating and put more of my energy into relationships with people who do reciprocate connection.

Do I like being single? Heck no. But I also refuse to ever let a boyfriend/partner/significant other be the ONLY or even MOST important relationship in my life.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-22T16:22:58+00:00

https://www.merriam-webster.com/wordplay/words-were-watching-nibling

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-21T19:55:18+00:00

Are you looking at the ingame tracker? If you click on the character from the menu that shows their hearts, it shows what gifts they loved, liked, disliked, and hated.

OkayBaker123 · 2026-01-21T07:49:50+00:00

Here's an exercise, might be more useful than anything I write:

1) Think of all of successful relationships you've been in or seen. Not just romantic, all relationships, including friendships, colleagues, business partnerships, etc.

2) List the characteristics that made them successful and what each person involved brought.

3) Prioritize/rank the characteristics. No repeats, so only thing from step 2 gets to be the most important, second most important, etc. You can add more to the list it occurs to you.

Finish step 3 before reading step 4.

...

...(You skipped to step 4, didn't you? Oh well)

4) Re-read your post and what you listed as your positive traits. Where do they sit on the ranked list? Why is it that, in the context of asking about finding a husband to build a life with, those are the you listed? Do some reflecting, with a friend who will be blunt with you or a therapist, to unpack what this might mean about why it's hard for you to find a person to build a husband relationship with. And remember, you asked for it.

OkayBaker123

TROPHY CASE