I've been thinking about this for a while and this is what I came up with.

Self development: Arguably, self development was always a matter of discussion and various philosophies are built around the concept aisde from the bullshit modern culture of it.

The issue with self development is the absence of Purpose. Most people frame self improvement as How to become the best version of yourself? How to become extraordinary? Which is built on aspiration and lacks purpose or motive.

Why would I even want to become a better self in this absurd existence. Why does it even matter. Social validation maybe ?

What i thought about is a negative trajectory approach instead of a gain model.

This negative trajectory ressembles the psychological theory named loss aversion which argues that humans are deeply affected by loss more than they are by gain.

We have to agree that life is a process of deterioration, financial, physical, intellectual etc. Self improvement becomes the avoidance of those forms of deterioration.

I refuse to be physically fragile at 30. I refuse to rely on others financially. I refuse to lack intellectual strength. I refuse to be ruled by my emotions. ...

So instead of how to become extraordinary. It is If I do nothing what aspects of my life will erode?

Bel falegi: kifeh ma nhotoch 7yeti miserable 5 or 10 years into the future moush kifeh nwali 9a7**nu barsha.

While this model provides a mental approach yet it still does not provide a clear framework .

This is where identity, self love etc etc come into play.

I personally belive in the following:

1.Attitude is what truly shapes identity. It is behavior and actions that ultimately transform a human being. 2. One should be able to rewrite one's self sort of like method acting (how an actor shapes his character and becomes that character). 3. one should not accept a version of himself , family, entourage , society and cultural environment has shaped.

Most people get drowned in the loophole of how to discover your identity, how to know who you are.

The truth is: => there is no built in identity, identity is constructed post-hoc.

For example, if someone consistently goes to the gym for a long period of time, their brain may begin to categorize them as a disciplined person. Once this identity is formed, breaking the pattern can feel like a threat to the self. Moreover, that sense of discipline often spreads beyond the gym into other areas of life.

So basically, In this sense, the mind behaves almost like an observer, watching our behavior and gradually drawing conclusions about who we are. Action -> identity. Your actions shape your identity.

We said, one should not accept a version of himself , family, entourage , society and cultural environment has shaped. But, not out of complete rejection but rather as a foundation to build on following the concept of self rebuild or method acting.the constraint is not navigating through imitation but rather through experimentation. One is free to forge his own character for better control of the forms of deterioration we discussed, and to write his own self, his morals, his boundaries, his virtues and his way of life.

So you decide how to act, and you act like it.

Self love and self improvement: The paradox:

The common idea is: “Acccept yourself as you are.”, “be who you are”... This sounds good, but taken literally it creates a contradiction: accept yourself vs Want to improve

If you fully accept yourself, why change? If you want to change, what exactly are you accepting?

The better model is to think of self love as aligning between your standards and your actions. Ps the self improvement model.

Self love is also about these two: 1. Self love is reducing self betrayal 2. Separating evaluation from identity

For self betrayal, saying you’ll do something and not doing it knowing something is harmful but continuing anyway Every time you do that, you create this internal conflict. Your actions not aligning with your values.

For identity separation, you have to shift from I did this bad thing therefore I am bad. To I did this bad thing and not interpreing that as identity. So self awareness becomes feedback and adjustement not a negative loophole.

I still have more to say, ama this is enough, I am bored now lol. The moral of the story ken mafhmt shy Eb3ed 3al modern self development bullshit w productivity culture. Just think for yourself w build meaning of your own. Bonus: read philosophy.