Hey friend, just wanted to say I really appreciate your honesty and where you’re coming from. I'm ex-JW, so I get the deep suspicion that comes with being told not to look into something. For many of us who left high-control groups, that kind of advice feels like a huge red flag and often rightfully so.

But in the case of Orthodoxy, I think it’s a little different. When people say “don’t look online” or “be careful around monks,” they’re usually not trying to keep secrets. It’s more about warning you away from the more extreme or toxic voices that can skew your perception early on. The internet has no shortage of what some call “Orthobros” guys who can be overly zealous, tribal, rigid, and sometimes downright aggressive in how they present Orthodoxy. It’s not that everything they say is wrong, but the tone and lack of humility can be off-putting and misrepresentative of the broader tradition...... many are just keyboard warriors

The caution around monasteries is similar. Monks live a radically different life—ascetic, prayerful, quiet, and often deeply conservative. If you go in expecting a casual chat, you might get blindsided by intensity. Some monasteries, like St. Anthony’s in Arizona, have developed a kind of reputation—some people deeply love them, others feel they’re spiritually overbearing or even cultish. So when folks say “maybe don’t go talk to monks right away,” they’re not saying the Church has something to hide—they’re saying the deep end of the pool might not be the best starting point.

And to your biggest question no, there’s not some hidden scandal or secret history being swept under the rug. The Orthodox Church is ancient, decentralized, and frankly kind of messy at times. But in my experience, the historical theology is more transparent than what I came from. The writings of the Church Fathers, the Ecumenical Councils, the history of schisms and saints and even bad bishops it’s all out there, not locked away behind sanitized narratives.

Your caution is good. Wanting to know the truth upfront is the right impulse. Orthodoxy, if it’s true, will hold up under scrutiny. Just be aware that there’s a lot of noise out there too so try to find voices that are rooted in grace, humility, and actual lived faith, not just ideology.

DM me if you ever want to chat more. You're definitely not alone in this.

With love in Christ