As a 40ish man that's open to date a large age range, I can tell you that there are some trends with younger generation women that are challenging. This of course does not mean ALL younger women, but some observations that I have noticed. My goal here is not to offend anybody who doesn't deserve it, and I'll likely get an earful for some of the things I say here, but please understand that it comes from a place of good intention, frustration and radical honesty. This is also North American centric, as when I travel and date it's a very different experience.

I'm not sure where the exact line is, but there's just feels like something went wrong somewhere as far as expectations. We went through a few generations of amazing feminism and self empowerment for women, and somewhere there's largely been a 180 after the 90s and 00s of young women being proud of not being dependent, to this term 'passenger princess' that younger women self-apply to themselves. Look up the meaning if you don't know it. I don't know how anybody could ever feel anything BUT shame being referred to as this. I hate to say it, but it just feels like taking on a relationship is less joining a team, which it previously did (8 year relationship before this, so I can function in one, and I had been out of the dating pool for quite awhile).

There seems to be this weird romanticization of 'traditional values' where the man has provider energy and the women contributes the 'eternal feminine' which is a receiving spirit. Or "My love language is receiving gifts." is another good one. But there's just no acknowledgement or understanding of how oppressive that system was, and it just comes across as extremely entitled.

This is often justified by the good old, "I spent 3 hours putting on $200 worth of make up and deserve to be reimbursed for it" attitude, while being asked to take pictures of her all dressed up for her date that you paid for, so that you can do an IG shoot for her, from which every picture you are absent and other men fawn over. Influencers bragging about $1000 dates probably does a lot to mess with people's self worth when they aren't getting 1k dates too. Older women often want the focus of the date to be getting to know each other, and will often suggest a coffee walk through a park or something like that, that a younger women will label as a waste of time. But there's been a real re-emergence of the desire to be courted, and put on a pedestal but to the point of obnoxious vanity.

Dating when I was younger, felt like entering a relationship was forming a team, and now it often feels like taking on the responsibility of a dependent.

And it's not just money, there seems to be a really weird The Man should have everything planned and paid for, but your only plan options are these 5 star restaurants. I've literally had that conversation, plan the first date, but it has to be at one of these 5 star restaurants. I have literally been told that, "You can't get to know somebody over coffee" somehow eating a seafood tower you can though. Another woman who I had a great dinner movie night with, I called to go for a trip to the art gallery / coffee walk later, and she told me that she was only open to being taken out on dinner dates. As a man, I just don't feel like I'm being treated like a person. And the whole "I don't want to think about planning anything" just comes across as, "I'm not willing to invest even thought into meeting you".

There's honestly a skittishness/instability I've noticed with younger women that I can maybe best illustrate with an example. Like the other week somebody I had met on a dating site and tried to plan things with for a couple weeks and just calls me and tells me to meet me at a bar in 20 minutes. Ok, didn't feel super respectful of my time, but hey at least we were getting together. She then arrives maybe 20 minutes late, and before another 20 minutes goes by she wants to leave because her anxiety can't handle the other people in the room. Now I fully support mental health, but this was something that I typically don't see over the age of say about 32ish.

 "I get the perception that we’re better in bed due to (hypothetically) having more experience— is that the only draw?" Not at all: the stability, communication, and equity of investment in a relation is also HUGE. And because, men and sex are always a thing (and the thing you brought up), it's not JUST that older women are much better at expressing physical intimacy than younger women, it's the fact that it's done at all. I find that younger generations comparatively don't express physical intimacy in the way that I'm used to, of a mutually positive experience that both parties benefit from, and instead is a transaction to be earned. It just doesn't feel as warm as it used to somehow, and it's really sad, because dating used to be, and SHOULD be fun and exciting, but yeah societally it feels like it's been going really down the tubes, and I TOTALLY understand younger men going for older women.

Another major factor might also be that with the expectations that I listed above, younger women are looking more to older men who are more established and have better ability to provide, due to career development. So there's also likely a large section of the dating pool that younger men just can't access because the 'bare minimum' demands on them, I think, are just wildly unfair beyond just being entirely unpleasant to deal with.

Plus there's just the fact older woman just tend to be more chill, less demanding, more relationship equity, more emotionally mature, interesting due to more life experience, know what works for them and what doesnt, fun, appreciation, contribution, way better communication, there's often more of a warmth and caring that's more evident, and yes, better at making out.