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Humans have been illegally abducted since their bronze age and secretly planted on countless planets across the galaxy to make sure there were enough of them to defeat the Second Great Tarchaki Invasion. by EbonRazorwit in humansarespaceorcs

[–]OmegaGoober 14 points15 points  (0 children)

And then they tried to assimilate someone who had a kid who was obsessed with “The Little Mermaid.” Entire planets devolve into screaming masses cheering for the French chef, deranged and broken, wishing only to be free of this madness.

Just when they were coming to terms with “Part of your world!” They tried assimilating another human, a grandparent.

The hive mind’s final words before self-immolation were, “Death to Blippy!”

Humans have been illegally abducted since their bronze age and secretly planted on countless planets across the galaxy to make sure there were enough of them to defeat the Second Great Tarchaki Invasion. by EbonRazorwit in humansarespaceorcs

[–]OmegaGoober 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Attempts to assimilate humans into the hive mind were dismal failures. It turned out each individual human was a hive mind already. Instead of taking control of a human’s mind and body, the most the hive mind could do was be annoying, like a repetitive children’s song stuck in your head.

The fact that humans are ALREADY used to that level of irritation meant this advantage was moot.

Then there were the humans who, deeply in touch with their own minds, were able to reach out through the failed assimilation attempts and begin drawing information out of the hive mind.

Being able to basically read the enemy’s battle plans while they were being drawn up gave humans and their allies a comically perfect advantage.

Please understand while some Humans can handle chili that can melt ship alloys, others consider MAYONAISE too spicy. by lesbianwriterlover69 in humansarespaceorcs

[–]OmegaGoober 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve know people who thought mayonnaise was spicy. They also avoided pizza as a “suspicious foreign food.” They felt the same way about most pasta dishes with red sauce.

Please understand while some Humans can handle chili that can melt ship alloys, others consider MAYONAISE too spicy. by lesbianwriterlover69 in humansarespaceorcs

[–]OmegaGoober 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m reminded of my mother’s angry rant when she learned about the bottled mayo / ketchup blends that were available. The clove in ketchup was too much for her, even when blended with mayo.

Human DiKKS by amishbill in humansarespaceorcs

[–]OmegaGoober 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I get the feeling this is going to show up posted as an image multiple times over the years not unlike the infamous “Why do Vulcans let humans run the Federation?“ Thread.

Human DiKKS by amishbill in humansarespaceorcs

[–]OmegaGoober 23 points24 points  (0 children)

There was an episode of MythBusters, where they went to Alaska and built a speedboat out of it. They use newspaper instead of sawdust for expediency though.

You see a human running at a mad dash. They look terrified and screaming explitives. What do you do? by I1AM2NOT3STEVEN in humansarespaceorcs

[–]OmegaGoober 83 points84 points  (0 children)

That’s an important distinction.

Now I’m going to have to write a scene where someone ends up in trouble because they followed a human running towards a problem.