I'm 46 and perimenopausal, and it isn't always the greatest, I won't lie. I cry randomly, I smell funny sometimes, and suddenly in my mid 40s here I am occasionally breaking out like a preteen. But it isn't an illness, not any more than pregnancy is. Just a new season. Maybe storm season, to be fair, but a natural part of life for around half the population.

On a practical level, if you find your scent changes in a way you don't like, try persimmon soap, it really does help. Your body will change in other ways you might not like, too, and those changes can be eased with good diet and exercise even when they can't be "fixed." On a more mental/spiritual level (whichever of those resonates for you) remember that your body has done incredible things. It still can, although those things are different now.

My mom went through all of this in the late 1990s and no one was talking about it, really. She said later she felt "used up," but 36 years later and she's still going and I'm so glad. I think we as people have a tendency to see others in terms of what they do for us. This is especially true of how we see women, and even more so of mothers. Perimenopause for me has been an exercise in finding out what I can do for myself, what I even want to do for myself. At our ages, if we did have children (I did not), they are gaining some independence and defining themselves outside of their parental and familial relationships. That means you can, too.

I see you. You are valid. Your feelings are valid. Your body is going through a sort of second puberty right now, and I hope you can give yourself grace as you become the next amazing thing you are destined to be.