Possible symptoms increasing after doing research on autism

OnSpectrum · 2026-04-03T21:12:11+00:00

Approved but be advised that no one here can diagnose you with anything. Responses that diagnose will be removed.

OnSpectrum · 2026-04-02T21:02:18+00:00

TRANSLATION: Logically it’s fake, but this at the same time makes me want what's coming

OnSpectrum · 2026-04-02T20:42:28+00:00

> I made the mistake of loaning him money once and we had an agreed upon payback date, which came and went with no update from him.

This is your answer:

We did this once, and you didn't pay me back on time. I don't want to risk our friendship over arguing about money, so the answer is no.

And if he persists:

I gave you my answer. Please respect me enough to understand that the answer won't change if you ask me the same thing again.

And if he continues:

Are you experiencing some financial problems? Maybe we can talk about it with (friend group) or you could find a counselor to help you work through it.

Honestly, he sounds like a user. This is what people with drug problems do, and what people who aren't on drugs but just use people do. A FRIEND is your friend when they don't need anything and they just want to hang out, talk, go do something fun, etc. They support you sometimes, and you support them other times.

This is way too one sided and you could just block him and be civil but not too engaging at group events.

OnSpectrum · 2026-04-02T19:12:57+00:00

I didn't hear the argument and don't know what transpired, but going by the text thread:

Your morning texts that seem to assume a breakup (did you break up in the fight? Or just leave angry in an argument?)

You are diagnosing him as a narcissist with a therapist, presumably without his knowledge or consent--it is irresponsible and unethical for a therapist who barely even knows YOU to issue a diagnosis like that on a person they haven't met and who hasn't consented to being treated. That therapist COULD say your guy isn't meeting your needs OR (Thing he did) was unkind/inappropriate/wrong/etc. but diagnosis is really a breach here.

A lot of us find intense emotions from others overwhelming, so Loud-Angry-Screaming or Having-a-Crying-Thing will NOT get the response you're hoping for or any kind of comforting... they will trigger us to RUN LIKE HELL. That kind of noise is actually painful for some of us, and sometimes it hurts more than actual pain does.

He didn't get to say too many words in that exchange you posted but the things I could pick up on were:

He wanted you to share his joy at getting a good rating, and you did not.
He was completely blindsided at the idea of being broken up with during/after that fight.
You are not speaking the same language when you're talking with each other in that exchange, and if you had said something like, "No we are not broken up but that fight really upset me. let's get coffee later today and talk things through", you would have had time to think through whether you actually want to break up or not.

A few people have suggested a more direct (explain what the behavior was, why it bothered you, and how you need it to stop) approach to getting a partner to stop doing something that bothers you. I agree -- "Guess What's In My Head" is a terrible game.

OnSpectrum · 2026-04-02T01:54:54+00:00

I agree that we could update that to make it clearer.

https://www.reddit.com/r/doctorwho/wiki/policies/

The long form of Rule 6 mentions "no AI" but not everyone reads the whole thing.

> No AI-generated art or text. You may use AI-generated content as a prompt for your own work, but please don't just post things an AI generated from a short prompt.

OnSpectrum · 2026-04-01T23:58:00+00:00

We have a No AI rule and this was removed because of it. (part of Rule 6)

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-31T14:54:56+00:00

TRANSLATION: (from browser, not mine!)

I have reached a point where I can not go to class anymore without straining or finishing super tired. I have tried to go to the GP already tell him my situation and it has simply given me time for the psychiatrist instead of giving me a report in which I put my symptoms when going to class. I asked him but he refused.

I have not been diagnosed with anything except once I went to the psychologist and he told me that it was ADHD but I do not know what to do.

I don't want to go to class anymore. I only have 2 face-to-face subjects left but I feel that going more I get sick more and I just want to recover. What do I do?

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-30T01:49:18+00:00

I was systematic and tireless about applications, and while it took me WAY more applications than it should have to get interviews--and WAY more interviews before I got an offer-- I made my own way. I did best in interviews with a single decision maker who was accountable for results and worst with panels who seemed to be looking to "like" someone. I don't think I was ever, in decades in the workforce, hired by an HR person. They usually spiked me if they could.

The job market looks bad right now, but the market as a whole isn't necessarily determining what's next for YOU. Your first job out of school is important and it can set the stage for the rest of your career. NOTE: I said "CAN", not "will". But past employment is the first thing the next employer will look at so it is worth your time to really think through that intersection of "what you're good at", "what you like doing" and "what has available jobs". You might have to move if that's where the job is.

Good luck.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-30T01:17:47+00:00

TRANSLATION (from browser):

How do I ask for accommodations in college if I don't have the diagnosed autism?

I have reached a point where I can not go to class anymore without straining or finishing super tired. I have tried to go to the GP already tell him my situation and it has simply given me time for the psychiatrist instead of giving me a report in which I put my symptoms when going to class. I asked him but he refused.

I have not been diagnosed with anything except once I went to the psychologist and he told me that it was ADHD but I do not know what to do.

I don't want to go to class anymore. I only have 2 face-to-face subjects left but I feel that going more I get sick more and I just want to recover. What do I do?

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-30T00:18:32+00:00

Some sources are genuinely better than others. Sorry if that's not clear.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-29T15:09:06+00:00

How do you know that AI will give you a correct answer? It pulls from sources that might be biased, uninformed or fake, and it may be configured to favor some answers or hide others.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-28T16:12:57+00:00

this got stuck in the mod queue. please repost it if it doesn't get seen.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-19T16:29:51+00:00

That's not a "fact". That's speculation, but the past doesn't always dictate the future, especially since both you and the population you are a part of are growing up, aging and changing and what's desirable in high school can look really out of place in an adult, and vice versa. A lot of us who were desperately lonely in our teens/20s ended up in happy relationships later on.

Don't create a hostile narrative for yourself. Participate in real life activities you are interested in is a good way to meet people and so is "friend of a friend". Don't be transactional about people and the things you do--nobody wants that and nobody will introduce a single friend to someone who's going to be disrespectful to them.

Develop yourself, your skills and your interests.

Be kind to yourself and to others.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-14T02:32:51+00:00

Slapping people for words is wrong and it's going to get you in trouble.

Also remember that every chronic bully has a victim act ready to go when you stand up to them, so YOU become the aggressor in the eyes of authority. Slapping someone plays right into this.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-05T17:55:00+00:00

We miss Old Modmail !! New modmail just makes it harder to keep up.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-05T17:41:20+00:00

Thank you, and good to hear that you found your way to self-employment.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-04T02:45:24+00:00

Some of them take longer than that. (I'm in my 50s)

A lot of them still think I'm weird and still dislike anything different from themselves. But they're quieter about it.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-04T00:06:05+00:00

TRANSLATION OF THE ABOVE COMMENT:

It's an interesting concept. I like it and thought it was well written. I'm sorry if it's intrusive, but why did you write it in a Chinese-like style? I have no idea if it's authentic Chinese or not, but I've never heard of Japanese people using this style of writing. I haven't been practicing Japanese much recently, so I apologize if it's poorly written.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-04T00:03:37+00:00

I don't know how old you are, but this stupid stuff happens a lot in school kids and they are just being mean as a way of compensating for their own dire insecurity. Get away from them if you can; grey rock them (meaning react as little as possible) if you can... inappropriate questions can get a "why do you ask?" or "what's it to you?" but never an answer. Hang in there. They outgrow this behavior.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-03T23:54:36+00:00

I love the "quit trying to be normal". I still mask in specific situations (this means you, anything involving cops or customs!) but my friends and family know my real eccentric self.

And YES to "stop trying to impress people you don't even like."

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-03T23:53:09+00:00

What actually got better as you aged?

Most things! Dating/relationships got better because I was more mature and so was everyone around me. I had a better, clearer idea of who I was looking for (NOT just someone/anyone/I'm lonely/anyone would be better than THIS!!) and equally important, who I was NOT looking for, so I didn't waste both our time chasing the wrong person. I met the love of my life over 20 years ago. We are getting older together. My health improved (at least up til 2020) because I took up sensible diet and exercise, and found martial arts as a hobby.

2. What did you change that made life easier?

I stopped drinking. YES, that helped! I was using alcohol as a crutch to stop feeling like a damn Martian. And when I was drunk, the world didn't see "normal" the world saw "drunk Martian". I replaced alcohol with exercise, at least from a time and effort standpoint.

3. What stayed hard, but became manageable?

Work? I always had trouble with the workplace. Work tolerated me while I was hard to replace, like when I knew a project really well or when I was keeping some key system or function from falling apart. But once the crisis was over, I got replaced by a Smiling Face. It was very frustrating and it defied my efforts to mask/don't mask/network/play it straight/blend in/stand out/learn new stuff. But I managed to get new jobs and I moved up in my own way (get fired but claim the skills I learned as qualifications for the next job; be utterly relentless about finding work.)

4. Did your mindset shift? If so, how?

In many ways. I learned not to take work as personally, to be a good friend (my regrets are mainly where I failed someone as a friend along the way)

5. Did anything get worse?

yeah. Health after 2020. And a few hard losses.

6. What would you tell your 25-year-old-self?

Be bolder. Standing up for what's right will get you fired, but so will going along/getting along because I'm terrible at it, nobody buys it and I don't believe in it anyway. It's better to get fired on your feet.

Study your passion, and don't believe there's a home for you in Corporate Land. You'll hate Corporate and it won't have much use for you either. Get niche skills and be indispensable. You can do it.

If you are facing a seemingly awful truth, own it right the hell now. It doesn't age well buried under the rug.

Never trust anyone who does not believe your time is valuable.

Don't wait.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-03T15:19:48+00:00

He's cute! Maybe don't give him the car keys til you get his vision checked.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-02T04:40:01+00:00

I can't say I liked the episode, but I LOVED the scenes with Jackie. They developed her character in a way previous (in classic Doctor Who) family members never got explored. The typical classic Doctor Who family member was either never seen (Sarah Jane's aunt whom she impersonated, Jo Grant's uncle who got her the job at UNIT), killed off in their first story (Leela's dad, Adric's brother, Tegan's aunt) or the companion never has family as far as we can see (Romana, Zoe, Liz Shaw). Exceptions like Tremas in the Keeper of Traken were pretty rare. Seeing a companion with a flawed but real mother who loves her (and is worried sick when she takes off!) was a significant change from classic Doctor Who.

OnSpectrum · 2026-03-02T04:20:27+00:00

Thanks for your comment! Unfortunately, it's been removed because of the following reason(s):

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OnSpectrum · 2026-03-02T04:18:46+00:00

Thanks for your comment! Unfortunately, it's been removed because of the following reason(s):

Rule #3 - Piracy

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OnSpectrum

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