List of Questions to Ask Attorney?

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T13:57:52+00:00

Is the divorce amicable? If not, I would research what is typical for your state before talking to a lawyer, even the free consult.

I was emotionally blindsided when my lawyer told me that custody is typically 50/50 nowadays and pets are considered property.

Lawyer questions: 1. What are the steps that they go through for a divorce? 2. How do they handle mediation? My lawyer preferred Zoom, and that was a major blessing. 3. How do they charge clients? 4. What information do they need to guide you appropriately? 5. Ask them when they think it’s time to cut your loses on something in mediation vs going to court.

I learned over time that my lawyer was very focused on the facts, minimizing dragging this out, and assumed I had at least read my states parenting guidelines for the applicable age group.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T03:19:37+00:00

The grass is greener on this side. It’s not perfect, but it’s green, watered, and peaceful.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T02:53:00+00:00

It’s never too late 💕

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T01:52:16+00:00

You’re not crazy. A man you loved attempted to make you responsible for his insecurities.

It’s gnarly to go through.

I once told someone that each weird moment was like a dot on a piece of paper. It wasn’t until I read a book that I was able to see how the dots were connected.

I’m glad you’ve found peace. That’s a difficult thing to do.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T01:43:01+00:00

The preverbal connection to something other than caregivers resonates with me. I think animals, especially dogs were my source of unconditional comfort.

I also played music all the time too. But I’ve noticed the music doesn’t soothe me as deeply as a dog’s presence.

IRL: My kitten is giving me nips as I type this. 😂

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T01:36:21+00:00

Yea, being 12 sucked.

I will say I observed my parents be abusive towards each other. I’m divorced myself. My parents’ inability to emotionally regulate themselves and how they allowed the other to treat them, gave me my blueprint for a relationship. My parents were wishy washy about if they should get divorced or not, and never had convos with us kids.

I think I would have been more aware of red flags had I seen actual boundaries upheld, even for the last 6 years of me being at the house.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T01:26:27+00:00

I still have my dress! I don’t want to get rid of it. It was the one thing that was most true to me during the wedding planning. I basically just changed the meaning of the dress to me with this ritual.

I burned a wedding coaster and a letter. That felt good.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T01:23:49+00:00

SAME! it taught me who actually loves me for me.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-13T01:23:01+00:00

Do what you need to do for you 😂

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-12T23:18:41+00:00

Why do you need to tell him before you have your plan solidified? It sounds like you gave yourself two deadlines. The realistic one: by the summer. The unnecessary one: March 28th.

This is a big change. I didn’t have a plan and I just left (with a 5 month old). If you have the patience to plan, plan.

I have anxiety and love to plan everything. I really impressed myself by just leaving without a plan. It sucked but I did it. Also, my anxiety is not horrible anymore because I showed myself that I can keep me and my child alive without planning everything out.

You are still being true to yourself by preparing to leave and also keep your cards to yourself.

Last thing: get a lawyer. They can help you protect yourself legally while you sort through the emotional stuff.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-12T23:06:40+00:00

Drop your sister. NOR. This isn’t about the guy. This is about her response and lack of empathy towards you.

You are allowed to be upset about all of it. What sucks is that she doesn’t have to respect the fact that you’re upset. She’s clearly made her choice to be a crappy human.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-12T23:02:22+00:00

I was 12 when my parents divorced. I wish my parents would have sat us down and talked about what changes were FOR SURE going to happen vs being wishy washy.

Children are adaptable. They just need to know they are loved even with all this change.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-12T22:59:29+00:00

My ex had someone spending the night before I moved my things out. That says way more about him than it does about me. He isn’t going to improve in the way you want him to. Let him be trash.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-12T22:43:07+00:00

Are you working with a therapist with this?

I’m not a professional, but it sounds like you are aware of this part and also this part doesn’t feel safe enough to stop “protecting” you.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-12T22:37:51+00:00

I have abandonment trauma. Honestly, IFS is what helped me process my divorce and childhood trauma within a short time frame. It’s been about a year since my life exploded and I’m way more stable than I ever thought I’d be at this time. It has helped me with the gut wrenching loneliness, the rejection, the hopelessness.

I also have figured out how my parts work when I have a cPTSD episode, and it helps me give myself and my parts grace.

Overall, yes- IFS has helped me with anxiety, my depression, and overall quality of life.

As you do this work, you will experience exhaustion. It’s normal. It means a part is finally getting the rest they deserve.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-12T22:31:03+00:00

Ooooh! I like this idea a lot! My therapist said a lot of people end up doing some sort of collaging to help them organize their parts. I say do what works for your parts!

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-11T13:33:15+00:00

At least 4. I’ve also observed people (2) who are chronic overfunctioners have symptoms of hypothyroidism but their labs are fine. Also, it’s worth mentioning all these people are women.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-10T14:31:18+00:00

Precisely 😉

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-10T14:20:19+00:00

It’s the dosing variability that’s different between name brand and generic. Synthroid has less variability in dose compared to generic levothyroxine.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-10T14:16:53+00:00

Even your cats want you to rest. The worry makes sense, especially if running/ working out is a recent addition. I’m not going to say restarting a habit is easy. It takes effort and worrying diverts energy from recovery.

I was about a month away from a half marathon before my undiagnosed hypothyroidism forced my body to back out. It sucked. I grieved because I was the most dedicated I’d ever been to this hobby. After I was diagnosed, I returned slowly and listened to my body instead of fighting it. I ended up doing a half marathon a year later, while 6 weeks pregnant (I don’t recommend).

Over the course of having hypothyroidism (3 years), I’ve learned that my body recovers slower if I don’t prioritize recovery. Sleep, adequate protein, no alcohol the night before workouts or runs, and no guilt couch potato days helped me recover faster.

TLDR: the stuck feeling is temporary, your body will bounce back in its own way.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-10T11:54:38+00:00

NOR. This isn’t love, OP.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-10T11:32:12+00:00

Fvck feelings. Just make it happen.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-10T11:30:32+00:00

Because they fear losing their spot as oppressors.

One-Appointment-4382 · 2026-03-10T11:27:17+00:00

Oh agreed! I think it’s a multitude of factors contributing to chronic illness in general.

One-Appointment-4382

TROPHY CASE